Gay Man Arrested After He Refused To Leave Partner’s Side In Missouri Hospital

wdaf_hospital_rights_130411a-615x345As the Supreme Court considers the same-sex marriage cases in Hollingsworth and Windsor, the arrest of Roger Gorley could serve as an answer to justices like Chief Justice John Roberts who asked pointedly what the rush was for an answer on the issue. Gorley was arrested at the Research Medical Center in Kansas City after he refused to leave the side of his partner. While he had power of attorney and the right to make medical decisions, family members did not want him in the room. Because he was not viewed as a “spouse” and therefore a family member, he was told to leave.


Gorley is now the subject of a restraining order to prevent further visitation.

Gorley said the nurse refused to confirm the couple’s shared power of attorney and medical decision form.

“She didn’t even bother to look it up, to check in to it,” the Lee’s Summit resident recalled.

The hospital insists “when anyone becomes disruptive to providing the necessary patient care, we involve our security team to help calm the situation and to protect our patients and staff. If the situation continues to escalate, we have no choice but to request police assistance.”

I do not know how Gorley acted, but the confrontation occurred after he was told to leave. If they were recognized as spouses, such an order would be highly unlikely. Clearly, the hospital can expel anyone who is causing a disruption, including all family members. The absence of marital status however places people like Gorley at a disadvantage in disagreements with other family members over visitation.

Source: Rawstory

109 thoughts on “Gay Man Arrested After He Refused To Leave Partner’s Side In Missouri Hospital

  1. Hospital aren’t the forum to hash out the social issues of the day. Their priority is the patient’s care as it should be. Both sides here should have exercised more maturity and concern for their loved one but when they didn’t it became the hospital’s job to separate the warring factions. Given the granted restraining order you could infer that Gorley’s actions were over the top.

  2. Andy:

    I would like to know the answer to that question myself. It seems to me it should trump them since you make a rational choice in the matter.

    I think this Gorley fellow had every right to be upset about his expulsion and if I was his partner, I would be pretty upset with my family for pressing this issue while I was in the hospital.

    I guess a power of attorney doesnt mean too much?

  3. I do not understand how the family can negate the power of attorney. If I had legal authority under a durable power of attorney, only the patient who gave me power of attorney could terminate it. What “legal” rights des a sister or brother really have in a case like this. I would Like to know what really went on in the room.

  4. Sorry folks, this appears to be another non-story that initially presented one side of the story, without digging deeper. My son is an emergency room physician, and is the Medical Director of the emergency department of a hospital. This is a scenario that plays out all the time. It is not an everyday event, but sometimes visitors and family members have to be ejected from the ER. When a family member gets in the way of staff during a real emergency, they are always asked to leave the room. For example, if a visitor insists on holding the patient’s hand, or cradling their head while staff is trying to treat difficulty breathing or a heart attack. The treatment team needs to access both sides of the gurney or examination table unimpeded. They don’t want to take time to answer questions, or have a visitor throw up or faint if the procedure is messy. The visitor is also not sterile, and not wearing clean scrubs. If risk of infection is an issue, the visitor has to go.

    Sometimes the family member, friend or significant other balks and refuses. There are many reasons. Sometimes the visitor fails to understand the gravity of the situation. Sometimes alcohol is involved. Sometimes the person is just oppositional and has a chip on his or her shoulder. For all we know, the ER doctor may have been gay, or has a gay kid. Two of my grandchildren are gay, but if it had been my physician son’s ER, and anyone refused to get out of the way of the treatment team, he or she would have been escorted out by security. That has happened before, and will almost certainly happen again.

    Apparently, when Mr. Gorley became belligerent, security removed him from the room. From all accounts, he made such a scene that he was removed from the hospital altogether and told not to come back. Since then, he appears to have calmed down, and as of late last night, once again given full visiting privileges, and was referred to as the “husband” of the patient.

    In point of fact, Research Medical Center in Kansas City was an early supporter of gay rights, and gives full same sex benefits to employees. Here is their policy statement:

    “…Research Medical Center puts the care of our patients as our #1 priority regardless of sexual orientation. We support all the communities we serve. We have a long history of commitment to a culture of diversity. Research Medical Center was one of the first hospitals in Kansas City to offer domestic partner benefits, which have been in place since 2005, and we have had a policy specifically acknowledging domestic partners’ visitation rights in place for years.”

    As for the nurse refusing to check Mr. Gorley’s power of attorney, that is an emergency room. If there is a crisis going on bad enough they have to clear the room, you can bet they are not going to send someone to administration offices to get a paper. Not only that, it would not have mattered. Disruptive behavior in the ER will get you tossed no matter what. One of the most common orders you will hear a ER doctor or Head Nurse snap out is, “Get these people out of here.” That happened when my oldest daughter coded after giving birth to her first child. At that time my wife was Head Nurse if the Oncology Department of that hospital, and I was on the staff of the hospital. Regardless, the treatment team cleared the room.

    This is exactly the kind of thing I wrote about last Sunday, when the newspapers do not do enough digging and there is no basic understanding of how things work. Mr. Gorley apparently ginned up a massive amount of support via the Internet. As we all know from a certain cute advertisement being run currently, “They are not allowed to put anything on Internet that is not true.”

  5. OS has a valid point….. Which is true….

    Bron, a power of attorney is an expression of the wishes of an individual….. If one does not honor them… Then one would have to go to court I suppose to get an order to enforce it…. But yes, they are legally binding…. Regardless family’s always seem to get in the way….when they want to…

  6. OS:

    now that makes good sense.

    My son had a simple surgical procedure when he was 3 months old and the doctor was putting a tube in his windpipe for surgery and he told me to get out. I later asked him why and he said he had been attacked by fathers before while doing procedures on a child.

  7. OS,

    Thanks for digging deeper. I saw this story last night on another site and it gave the impression it was a simple patient visit.

  8. Otteray,

    Did the man become belligerent? What did he do? If I were asked to leave my partner’s side, I’d be pretty upset. Shame on the family for requesting that their relative’s partner not be allowed in the room to comfort his loved one.

  9. Just found this:

    Gay Man Arrested At Missouri Hospital For Refusing To Leave Sick Partner, Not Recognized As Family (UPDATE)
    The Huffington Post | By Cavan Sieczkowski
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/11/gay-man-arrested-missouri-hospital_n_3060488.html

    *****

    UPDATE: 4/11 3:14 p.m. — Research Medical Center responded to the allegations in a Facebook post on Thursday afternoon.

    This was an issue of disruptive and belligerent behavior by the visitor that affected patient care. The hospital’s response followed the same policies that would apply to any individual engaged in this behavior in a patient care setting and was not in any way related to the patient’s or the visitor’s sexual orientation or marital status. This visitor created a barrier for us to care for the patient. Attempts were made to deescalate the situation. Unfortunately, we had no choice but to involve security and the Kansas City MO Police Department.

    *****

    I’d still say it was the family who created the situation. They have a loved one who is ill and they insist his partner who has the legal right to make medical decisions be removed from the hospital room?

  10. Elaine,
    From all the (now updated) credible reports I have seen, Mr. Gorley became belligerent when asked to leave. That is a term I am most familiar with. “Belligerent” is a polite way of saying he probably became combative.

    As I wrote above, it is not unusual for ER staff to want the room cleared. The reason can vary from the visitor being in the way of the treatment team to one of sterile field. As I mentioned earlier, when my daughter coded after delivering my granddaughter they ordered everyone out of the room except the treatment team. Her husband, mother–everyone. That was despite the fact my wife was Head Nurse of the Oncology Department and I was on the staff of the hospital.

    From all I can gather, the problem was not one of being gay, or having a gay relationship. It was the problem of a visitor with a serious attitude problem getting in the way of ER staff while they were trying to treat him.

  11. “when he got there, a member of Allen’s family asked him to leave, according to Kansas City Fox station WDAF. When Gorley refused, hospital security allegedly handcuffed him and forcefully removed him from the premises.”

    So what are the facts here? Was Gorley the only one who was asked to leave? Is it true that it was the family member who initiated the request for Gorley to leave? If so, would Gorley have standing to sue the family member? To sue the hospital? If Gorley had not been disruptive until being asked to leave, then the disruptive behavior can’t be used to justify the hospital’s actions.

  12. “While he had power of attorney and the right to make medical decisions, family members did not want him in the room.”

    While I’m not an Emergency Room Physician, through the years I’ve been an Emergency Room patient, in life threatening condition perhaps 25 times at “E” rooms in many different hospitals. While I’m grateful too many of the ER’s there exists a certain peremptoriness with many ER staff when it comes to relatives. In my own case, being a heart transplant candidate and survivor, were it not for the watchful eyes of my wife and tireless caregiver’s interjections the normal ER protocols might have caused me more harm the good. This is because my category of patient is not seen by many of the best ER’s and the manner of treatment is different due to my immunology-suppressed state. In one instance when I was suffering from lung difficulty that had resulted from my transplant, my wife had to inform the staff who had curiously crowded the room because of my unique status, that they needed to be wearing masks to be near me. This was greeted by a general annoyance but her strong insistence gave way to grudging compliance.

    While I have the utmost respect for “E” Room personnel, I relate the story above to illustrate that it is often quite important to have ones’ spouse with you in moments of medical danger. I the transplant world they are referred to as caregivers and considered to be essentially important to the patient’s health and safety. Indeed, though I have always been a proponent of Gay Rights, initially I thought the issue of Gay Marriage to be of a lesser importance. However, with the plethora of stories of “Gay Spouses” denied hospital privileges, especially during the AIDS era, I realized that recognizing the spousal rights of Gay lovers is an essential right.

    I’m struck by the above line from JT’s article and despite OS’s clarification, I wonder how much family hostility played a role in the ER Staff’s position? I suspect it did, but will be ope to changing my opinion if I could see further clarifying sources of the story. Until then I will look at this story as an example of the same old treatment give to the Gay spouse.

  13. When the patient wakes up and gets his senses, he will have to disavow his family. It is called: Family Divorce, or sometimes Sibling Divorce. Make out a notarized statement of your name, date of birth, mom, dad, bro, sis, kids, aunts, uncles, and state that they are to have no significance in your health care decisiions, are not allowed in your presence, or waiting room absent your personal permission. Then you appoint your designated driver. Post it on your chest when you arrive at the ER. Publish it in the county newspaper.

    This obviates as well the need for Thanksgiving at Aunt DoeDoes, Christmas at Jimbobs, Easter at JoeBobs, Halloween at WeenerDogs.

    When you wake up: Give em Hell Harry.

  14. I can vouch for the clear the room please statement. Many years ago my 10 year old daughter fell off her bike and while her helmet saved her from serious harm, she did tear the inside of her lip when she hit the pavement. At the ER, the Doctor asked me to leave while he sowed her up and I asked if I could stay (feeling somewhat responsible since I had asked her to ride with me). The Doctor said ok with hesitation, then grabbed a stool and ordered me to sit. I said I’m fine and he said when he starts sowing he feared I’d pass out seeing my daughter being sown up. He told me to either sit or leave. So yes indeed, Doctors in an ER are pretty adamant that disruptions in the ER are not to be allowed, no matter what the relationship with the patient.

    Perhaps in the heat of the moment when the family first asked him to leave, he became belligerent and rather than take time to “check the papers”, the immediate family was allowed to stay while the belligerent person was asked to leave. He brought this on to himself by how he acted.

  15. I won’t look at that. I don’t like it. I’m sorry to keep saying this, but I say men kissing each other in San Francisco and I didn’t like it.

  16. Saw, not say. I did dine at an Italian restaurant in San Francisco. Once. They were extremely polite, and the food was good. I never went back.

  17. Mike,

    Our family recently went through a hospital go around concerning the medical problems of a close relative. I know how important it is to have an advocate there to speak up for you when you may not be able to–or when you are highly medicated and may not be thinking as clearly as usual. I have an in-law who has been an ER doctor and who currently supervises an ICU at a hospital. He has helped the family a great deal with his medical advice. He was livid when he found out that that close family member was discharged from the hospital without a correct diagnosis of his medical problem…without any medication for pain…without any plans for a follow-up visit. That family member was taken to the ER just twelve hours after being discharged from the hospital–at the advice of our “family” doctor. He even called the ER and provided doctors with the medical information before the relative’s arrival. He told us that the doctor who discharged the family member from the hospital should be disciplined.

  18. Another side of the story:

    Exclusive interview with daughter of gay man handcuffed, dragged from husband’s hospital bed
    4/11/2013 7:21pm
    by John Aravosis
    http://americablog.com/2013/04/interview-daughter-gay-man-handcuffed-husbands-hospital-bed.html

    Excerpt:
    I just spoke with Amanda Brown, 26, the daughter of Roger Gorley, who was handcuffed and dragged away from the bed of his husband, Allen Mansell, at the Research Medical Center in Lee’s Summit, Missouri on Tuesday.

    Amanda, who was in the hospital room when her father, Roger, was taken away by the police, directly contradicts the hospital’s claim that Roger needed to be removed because he was “disruptive.”

    She also accuses the police of wearing gloves, and worrying that her father had AIDS, simply because he was gay.

    Hospital says gay husband was “disruptive and belligerent”

    “This was an issue of disruptive and belligerent behavior by the visitor that affected patient care,” the hospital alleged in a statement released Thursday afternoon, after the story had gained national attention. In addition to intense media scrutiny and anger in the gay community, federal officials are now also investigating.

    The incident happened Tuesday around 4pm, central time.

    According to Amanda, her father Roger had every reason to be disruptive at his husband’s hospital bedside – his authority as Allen’s spouse, and thus the person in charge of Allen’s medical decisions, were Allen unable to make them himself, was being challenged by Allen’s brother, Lee, in the presence of a nurse.

    Roger has Allen’s medical power of attorney, so there should have been no question as to who was legally responsible for care decisions.
    Nurse allegedly knew the parties, yet did nothing to confirm Roger had medical power of attorney

    What’s more, the nurse, according to daughter Amanda, knew Roger and Allen. Amanda say the nurse must have known that Roger was Allen’s designated representative, as they had been to the hospital many times before, and had been treated by the same nurse.

    “The nurse knew who my farther was, she knew who Allen was,” Amanda told me by phone. “She had treated Allen before, and dad had been there before, dad had signed off on medical treatments before. She should have had all the information on file.”

    Amanda says that the nurse had her father removed because of the loud disagreement her father was having with his partner’s brother, Lee, who had arrived at the hospital room at the same time as her father.

    Rather than intervene and inform the brother that Roger was in fact the designated representative of his gay partner, the nurse had Roger removed. This, in spite of Allen reportedly saying from his hospital bed that he wanted his husband to stay in the room with him.

    “Allen said he wanted dad in the room,” Amanda told me. “He said ‘I want him here’” as the nurse was asking Roger to leave.

    When I asked Amanda if the nurse was possibly not aware of what the fight was about, Amanda responded: “She knew what was going on.”

    Nurse had gay spouse removed, even though daughter says other man was more disruptive and belligerent

    Amanda says that Lee, the man her father was fighting with, was being more disruptive and belligerent than her father, yet the hospital had her father removed – and then did nothing about Lee’s continued presence.

    “Lee was being more crazy than my dad, he was the one who was yelling,” Amanda said. No matter. According to Amanda, the nurse “directed her comments to Roger, ‘you need to leave the room.’ My dad said, ‘no, this is my husband, I’m going to stay with him.”

    That’s when the hospital called the police to remove Roger, in spite of the fact that Amanda says Allen specifically asked for Roger to be permitted to stay.

  19. Elaine M. 1, April 12, 2013 at 10:15 am

    Take four ibuprofen. Don’t bother calling me in the morning. The ex-wife told me later that the doctor was gay.

  20. Elaine M. 1, April 12, 2013 at 10:27 am

    Matt,

    The family member can’t take Ibuprofen because it’s an NSAID.
    ——————————
    What is an NSAID? I have plenty of ibuprofen. I also have aspirin.

    I can make better lasagna than you.

  21. After digging around on the internet for more than a half hour, I have come to the conclusion everyone is doing a fine job of CYA. At this point, I am skeptical of all statements, since most of the people making statements appear to have a particular point of view or advocacy position they are promoting. Every lawyer on this blog is familiar with that phenomenon.

    Elaine, in response to your question, the hospital policy on diversity and equality has been in place since 2005, so on that point at least, that appears to be a done deal long before this incident. I am not on Facebook, so am not privy to what people or organizations post there–most of it is just gossip anyway.

    I did go to the hospital’s web site and dug around to see if their claims about diversity had any additional history. I found the page at the link, which was last updated October 18, 2011. The copyright date at the bottom is for the whole web site, and not just that page.

    http://researchmedicalcenter.com/your-health/?/36554/

  22. Otteray,

    I admit that I’m skeptical of the hospital’s story. I, too, think it’s a CYA statement.

    I’m not on Facebook either. I think it interesting, though, that a hospital would respond to the negative publicity it was getting on Facebook.

  23. I can see the reasoning for responding on Facebook. A lot of companies do that, as well as people in the news. It is the fastest way to get a statement out since Facebook has one billion registered users. That is a lot of eyeballs.

  24. Otteray,

    The hospital would have to assume that people interested in this story are Facebook users…and that said people would look on Facebook to see if the hospital had made an official statement regarding the Gorley situation.
    Has the hospital held a press conference yet?

  25. Okay, here’s the recipe. It’s a Spaghetti Sauce recipe, but you can also use it for lasagna. It’s a crock pot recipe.

    Makes 8 to 10 servings:

    2 lbs. mild Italian sausage or ground beef
    3 medium onions, chopped (about 2 1/4 cups)
    2 cups sliced mushrooms
    6 garlic cloves, minced
    2 14 1/2 oz.cans diced tomatoes, undrained
    1 29 oz. can tomato sauce
    1 12 oz. can tomato paste
    2 Tbsp dried basil
    1 Tbsp dried oregano
    1 Tbsp sugar
    1 tsp salt
    1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

    Cook sausage, onions, mushrooms, and garlic in skillet over medium heat for 10 minutes. Drain. Transfer to slow cooker. Stir in remaining ingredients. Cover. Cook on low 8-9 hours.

    This recipe “Feasting with your Slow Cooker” isn’t for the smaller cooker.

  26. Tex has been admitted through the emergency room more times than I can count. I have a slew of paper work and copies of same that go with him in the ambulance and that my daughter and I (she shares Power Of Health Atty with me so that he is always covered) carry with us to present when we get there. The reason being that there are several common, oft prescribed medications that if administered to him would kill him with one dose.

    My mother was the head nurse in the Emergency Room for years, her classmates were similarly employed in different departments and three of my nieces are nurses presently working in hospitals. All of them, every single one, stress the importance of closely watching what is being done, asking questions, and firmly intervening if necessary. We even carry a notarized note from his heart doctor with instructions that she is to be contacted if the family requests it.

    My daughter and I have no fear of asking, “What are you giving him now?” and no hesitancy in responding if the staff tries to brush us off. On more than one occasion we have saved his life as he lay on that Emergency Room bed by asking the question … “what are you giving him” … “stop, check his file, he’s allergic to (insert name of drug) or that drug will interfere with (insert name of drug)”

    I can’t say what happened in this particular case but after reading all the different posts, Mr. Gorley probably had the best working knowledge of his partner’s health situation and carried the legal documents necessary … he has my sympathy.

  27. Elaine,
    No press conference yet, and none announced. Checked every one of the KC news outlets and there is nothing. If there was a press conference, it would have been easy to find.

  28. Well!! Folks are coming to realize what I made my living doing. Yes, Virginia the “facts” are not always “facts” and one must weed through normal bias and other factors. When it is a pc issue “facts” mean little to people w/ a political viewpoint. So, hash this one out folks and make sure you don’t admit one iota of bias, that’s becoming the new American way.

  29. Having lived in KC I know this hospital and folks who worked there. It is a well respected hospital and it was the trauma unit where KC cops were taken[maybe still are] when shot. I learned from cops in KC and other places that you always want to go to the trauma unit where cops are taken when shot, it’s the best one.

  30. ottery scribe

    How did you determine that this confrontation took place in an emergency room? The video indicates this event took place in the psychiatric unit, not an ER. The reports consistently use the term “bedside” which doesn’t sound like an ER.

    All the reports say that it was not hospital staff who initially asked for the man’s removal – it was the family member, who simply objected to having a gay man in the room – there is no indication that intensive medical care was being given and people were in the way. One would also think that IF that were the case, then all of family members would be asked to leave. They were not.

    And if the eyewitness account of the daughter of the accused man is to be believed, the patient actually asked that the partner stay, and that the disruptive family member was the gay bigot.

    Seems to me that you may be completely misrepresenting the situation.

  31. Blouise,

    My in-law who is the ER/ICU doctor stressed that our family should not be too nice when our relative was taken to the ER after his discharge from the hospital earlier in the day. We had wondered why the relative was discharged without any medication or further examination when he had told the doctor that he was experiencing a lot of pain and showed her that his right hand was swelling and that there was a large lump on his wrist. She brushed him off with–and I’m paraphrasing here–you can take care of that as an outpatient. We had thought the doctor knew what she was doing. Evidently, she didn’t. The relative had to be readmitted to the hospital.

  32. roger:

    I think the principle of doctors/nurses having a say during treatment still stands no matter where the event occured.

  33. Federal Officials Aim For “Speedy” Response Following Missouri Hospital Arrest
    After the arrest of gay patient’s partner in Missouri’s Research Medical Center, federal officials are “working to gather the facts and determine what steps to take in a speedy manner.”
    Chris Geidner
    posted on April 11, 2013
    http://www.buzzfeed.com/chrisgeidner/federal-officials-aim-for-speedy-response-to-missouri-hospit

    WASHINGTON — Federal officials are “aware” of the Missouri hospital that had a man arrested for refusing to leave the bedside of his partner, and “are working to gather the facts and determine what steps to take in a speedy manner,” a Medicare/Medicaid spokesman said Thursday afternoon.

    News spread Thursday about the arrest of Roger Gorley, who had been trying to visit at Research Medical Center in Kansas City with the man he described in a Facebook note as his husband, Allen Mansell. The two were joined in a civil union.

    When one of Mansell’s family members asked him to leave, he refused and was later arrested. According to a note posted on Research Medical Center’s Facebook page Thursday afternoon, “This was an issue of disruptive and belligerent behavior by the visitor that affected patient care.” The hospital also states in the post that the decision was unrelated to sexual orientation.

    At President Obama’s direction during his first term, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius issued regulations mandating that hospitals that receive Medicaid or Medicare funds allow patients the right to have visitors of their choosing, regardless of sexual orientation.

    Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS), which enforces the regulations through coordination with the states, is looking into the situation. CMS spokesman Brian Cook told BuzzFeed Thursday afternoon, “CMS is aware of this specific issue and we are working to gather the facts and determine what steps to take in a speedy manner.”

    “All Americans are guaranteed the right to receive hospital visitors that they designate, and there are specific protections in our rules for same-sex couples across the country,” Cook added. “We take alleged violations of federal rules around hospital visitation very seriously.”

    Guidance issued by CMS on the regulations includes the following: “When a patient who is not incapacitated has designated, either orally to hospital staff or in writing, another individual to be his/her representative, the hospital must involve the designated representative in the development and implementation of the patient’s plan of care.”

  34. MSPB said they take allegations of judicial bias seriously. The AJ found me guilty of something I wasn’t even accused of and I proved it. He was a fruit.

  35. You are assuming this gay couple would have married if gay marriage was legal in Missouri. Thats a big assumption.

    What was the patient’s condition? Maybe he wanted Gorley to leave so he could be alone with his family? Was he comatose?

  36. I just read the account at thinkprogress that Elaine linked to. Both Lee and Roger got removed from the hospital for their behavior, which was totally unacceptable behavior for visitors to a hospital, medical power of attorney or not. That medical power of attorney is irrelevant once someone is being aggressive and disruptive.

    Hospitals have staff ready to remove people in these situations. I have seen family members removed over their reaction to the death of a loved one. Its heartbreaking but what can they do? There are other patients on the floor who have to be kept in their rooms while a situation like this is going on.

  37. Karen,

    From the ThinkProgress article that I provided a link to earlier:

    How Allen Was Admitted On Tuesday

    – Amanda (Roger’s daughter) was taking care of Allen while Roger was at work at Tuesday, but when they returned home from a few errands, Allen’s brother Lee and sister Pat were waiting at the door with paramedics and police.

    – Due to Allen’s sluggish state, the police determined he was a “danger to himself” and decided to take him to the hospital against his will. Rather than taking him to St. Luke’s Hospital in Lee’s Summit, the local hospital where his regular doctors are, they took him to the Research Medical Center in Kansas City, which he only goes to for his ECT. They ignored Amanda’s attempts to explain Allen’s medical needs and procedures.

    – Amanda called her father, Roger, and urged him to get to Allen’s side immediately. When he arrived at the hospital, Lee was also there.

    The Family Confrontation

    – Lee asserted that he was not going to allow Roger to make decisions for Allen and that he would instead. This enraged Roger, who replied, “No you won’t! This is my husband. I know what he wants and needs. You are never around. You need to leave.”

    – The nurse informed Roger that because of his agitated state, he needed to leave. When he explained that he intended to stay with his husband, she replied, “I know who you two are. You need to leave.” Refusing to acknowledge their legal relationship, she called the police to have Roger forcibly removed.

    – Allen, who was in and out of consciousness, objected as he was able, saying, “I want him here.”

    – A follow-up story from Fox 4 suggests that Roger and Lee were having a loud fight, but doesn’t otherwise contradict this account.

    http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/04/12/1857741/what-actually-happened-to-that-same-sex-couple-in-the-missouri-hospital/

  38. Elaine,
    Its obviously a situation where the brother and Roger don’t get along but the patient wants both of them in his life. I’m not sure what the medical situation is with Allen but it sounds to be on-going thing and serious. Thats really stressful on everyone. I wonder how many times he’s been rushed to the hospital like this.

  39. Elaine,

    Re: your recent experience, coupled with Mike’s experiences and my own … dealing with the hospital staff is sometimes one of the most stressful parts for the patient’s family.

  40. Gay man separated from husband in hospital was beaten and harassed
    By David Ferguson
    Friday, April 12, 2013 12:43 EDT
    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/04/12/gay-man-separated-from-husband-in-hospital-was-beaten-and-harassed/

    Excerpt;
    Mansell and Gorley have been bound by a civil union for five years, granting them each power of attorney over each other’s health decisions, the kind of arrangement that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg called a “skim milk marriage” in oral arguments regarding same sex marriage before the Supreme Court earlier this month.

    Mansell suffers from severe depression, which is being treated with Electroshock Therapy (ECT) at Research Medical Center in Kansas City twice per month. Research Medical is not Mansell’s primary hospital, but rather where he goes specifically for ECT sessions. Normally, the two men use St. Luke’s Medical Center in Lee’s Summit, Missouri, where their legal arrangement is respected by hospital staff.

    Paramedics took Mansell to Research Medical on Tuesday, April 9 when he became sluggish and intermittently responsive at home. When Gorley arrived at the hospital, he was met by his partner’s brother Lee Mansell and sister Pat, who disapprove of the two men’s relationship. Lee Mansell asserted that he was next of kin and would be making all of his brother’s health decisions.

  41. Elaine,

    With the Think Progress article this story takes shape and it isn’t a pretty one. Seems like another story of a family interfering with a gay person’s relationship due to their own prejudice. Also taking the ER out of the equation certainly makes the hospital’s actions that more suspect.

  42. “What was the patient’s condition? Maybe he wanted Gorley to leave so he could be alone with his family? Was he comatose?”

    Karen from NJ,

    Just a hint for you. When making comments it is always best to read all the information given so that your questions are pertinent rather than off the mark.

  43. Blouise,

    Our relative was discharged from the hospital prematurely after he was admitted for the second time in less than a week. After he got home, he improved for a couple of days…and then he got progressively worse as he was tapered off his medication too quickly. So…back to the hospital he went again!

  44. Elaine,

    Yep … been there. You might (perhaps you already have) want to investigate other hospitals if there others around you. We have 7 in our area and there is one that I would never, ever, in a million years use. One of the first things I stress when calling the EMT’s is “Do not, under any circumstances take him to (insert name of hospital)” We have a notarized note from his heart doctor to that effect if it’s needed and I had to use it once.

  45. Mike,

    I still remember vividly the days and nights my mother, sister, and I spent at the local hospital when my father was gravely ill in the ICU. We didn’t get a lot of information from the doctors and staff regarding the true status of my father’s serious condition–so we couldn’t really make informed decisions about his care. I was finally fed up and called his specialist and demanded to know the truth about my father and whether there was any hope for his recovery. Unfortunately, I was told there was no hope–but at least once our family got the awful news we could make an informed decision about what needed to be done. It’s not right to give a family false hope.

  46. Blouise/Elaine,

    Unfortunately my experiences with hospitals and their sometimes ineffective care, bordering on cruelty, goes back 51 years. When I was 17 and a senior in HS, my mother suffered a massive stroke, paralyzing her whole right side.
    Although we had great health insurance our Doctor’s convinced us to have her go to the County Hospital which supposedly had the best Rehab Unit available on Long Island. although our medical insurance covered private nursing care we couldn’t find a nurse for the Midnight to 8:00 am shift. My father and I alternated nights and covered it ourselves for a month. My mother was in a ward with 12 beds and during that shift not a nurse was to be found. I had to lift my mother up onto a commode if she needed to relieve herself. One does not want to take care of such intimate details with a parent of a different sex, but it was my mother. I can only imagine how humiliated my mother was, but there was no staff available at that time of night to assist.

    One day I came after school to visit and found my mother struggling with a nurse and crying. The day shift private nurse we hired had decided to make her life easier by having my mother catheterized. The catheter hurt her and made her uncomfortable. I intervened and even then I was a large man. I refused to allow the cath and stood off the Nurses and the Doctor, when they finally called for security. Luckily my Grandfather and two Uncles arrived as they were grabbing me. They intervened and even money was seen to change hands and she wasn’t cathed. That was the beginnings of my understanding about how hospitals work. Though many are wonderful institutions, even the best are so hidebound with their system of procedures, that many times patient comfort and care are low on the priority list.

    I could go into many of the hospital horror stories I’ve personally faced in my life, but it would take far more than a comment, or even a blog. Hospitals are needed and most times do wonderful work, but the estimate of about 100,000
    unnecessary patient deaths per years has been around since the 60’s and I don’t doubt its truth.

  47. Blouise,

    The hospital is a good one. Our relative has some excellent doctors that he sees there. I think a big part of the problem with many hospitals these days is having “hospitalists”–doctors who don’t actually know a patient–take over care of a patient when he/she is in the hospital…instead of having the patient under the care of the primary care doctor or the specialists who really know him/her.

    *****
    What is a Hospitalist?

    Hospitalists do not have a clinic practice and are easily available when you and your family have questions or concerns. The hospitalist takes the place of your primary care physician while you are in the hospital.

    http://www.lahey.org/Departments_and_Locations/Departments/Hospitalists/Hospitalists.aspx

  48. “Our relative was discharged from the hospital prematurely after he was admitted for the second time in less than a week. After he got home, he improved for a couple of days…and then he got progressively worse as he was tapered off his medication too quickly. So…back to the hospital he went again!”

    Elaine,

    In the spirit of this comment let me relate one more experience and then I’ll withdraw from the discussion having personalized it too much. After my Heart Transplant and the weeks of recovery, the staff decided to discharge me. This was despite the fact that my oxygenation was in the high 80’s to low 90’s, which is not optimal. Since as you can see from my experiences with them as a youth I loathe being in the hospital I sided with the staff. My wife strenuously objected, saying too that she sensed I was not as mentally alert as I normally
    am. My wishes prevailed. Three days later I was barely able to move and slightly psychotic from my lack of oxygen and over my objections my wife called 911. That was the night of the ER incident I mentioned above. All I remember of that ight was up until I entered the ambulance. Three days later the fog lifted and I found myself down in my Transplant Hospital at he University of Miami. I was waking up from a difficult lung surgery and didn’t even know they had transported me down the 70 odd miles to Miami in the interim. My wonderful Transplant Surgeon had performed the lung surgery. He told me that my wife’s quick action, over my own oxygen-starved wishes had saved my life. That is why one needs someone to rely on and intervene when they deal with Physicians, Nurses and hospitals.

    Mr. Gorley should have been listened to and not man-handled and arrested.

  49. Mike,
    There is very little information about Allen’s condition. If you are relying on what Roger’s daughter said, that doesn’t tell me much. Allen is obviously close to his brother and sister-in-law; I don’t know why people assume they are in the wrong or that they are mean people. Doesn’t anyone else here have family that doesn’t get along but you like both of them? My brother and sister don’t speak.

    I hope Jonathan does an article about Advance Directives, living wills, medical power of attorney. I have some experience with my mother on this — it all depends on the doctor you run into whether you’ll have a problem or not. My mother’s cardiologist told me that having these forms filled out “might” help. At the hospital in her final weeks, one doctor wanted to do a n operation to put in a new heart valve. She had dementia over 5 years at that point.

  50. Mike,

    When my mother was getting radiation treatments the doctor recommended that I put in her a nursing home close to the hospital so that they could pick her up and bring her back with ease. The treatments were being done a down in Columbus and I lived 21/2 hours away. My mother agreed to give it a go so I had her admitted to the facility. After one night my mother called (remember, she’s a nurse) and told me there were feces on the floor in the room next to hers.

    I hung up, called the doctor to complain about his recommended nursing home and then left immediately for Columbus. I rented a hotel room, rented a hospital bed and other necessary tools and that evening signed my mother out of that doctor recommended he!! hole and took her to the hotel where she and I spent the next three months getting her radiation treatments.

    My mother, a feisty soul even when sick, told her doctor to find another nursing home from which he could receive kickbacks.

  51. Elaine,
    I said it earlier, but I do not understand how anyone can order the agent under a lawful durable power of attorney out of the room and suggest that he or she are going to make all the decisions. Without a court order at that time, the hospital must honor the legal document.

  52. Karen,

    How do you know that Allen is close to his brother and sister-in-law? Evidently, Allen trusted Gorley and chose him to be the one to make medical decisions for him.

  53. Roger Lambert,
    In reply to your question. I first read the story yesterday. Most accounts did not reference any unit, but I found two that mentioned emergency room. If it was a psychiatric ward, then the story does not change a lot. Most psychiatric hospitals will not allow any family or friends to visit for a certain number of days. Some for as long as a week. It is commonplace to discover a patient’s mental health issues stem from family conflicts; hence, the reason for the stabilization period.

    I am waiting for the full story to come out.

  54. Because Gorley had power of attorney and the right to make medical decisions, Gorley should demand that the hospital produce daily medical records and make them available to him, in lieu of the hospital’s failure to permit him visitation rights. Also, if Gorley has power of attorney over finances as well, then he could use that power as a bargaining chip to get the hospital to comply with his request for daily medical records. Gorley should then keep a written record of any hospital decisions that were made inappropriately without Gorley’s consent. Should the hospital make one important slip-up, Gorley will then be in a position to express his beligerance in a truly productive way–by suing the hospital for a lot of cash. Hospitals don’t like to listen to most people, but they do sit up and pay attention when they are the subject of lawsuits.

  55. Ralph,
    I still think this is a non-story. He apparently calmed down, hospital got the paperwork straight, and he was allowed back to visit as of this morning. Based on experience, all parties involved probably got a lecture on how to behave, and allowed back on a promise of appropriate behavior. That is standard protocol.

    I don’t know how many psychiatric unit (or emergency room) melees you have participated in. If somebody is acting out and becoming belligerent or combative, it would not matter if the power of attorney was signed by the Chief Justice of the SCOTUS. Security is trained to protect nurses, staff and the patient from harm first. Everything else comes second.

  56. Elaine,
    Lee and his wife visit Allen. Thats how it all started, that Lee and his wife and the police and paramedics took Allen to the hospital and stayed with him in the hospital. Is there any indication that they were doing it for reasons other than concern for Allen, who apparently has serious health problems?

    I could see where it could be a stressful situation and have nothing whatsoever to do with Roger being gay. Roger wants to keep Allen at a local hospital and a lot of other people think Allen should go to a better hospital. Allen is not a very old person just waiting to die; maybe the better hospital can do something for him that makes a difference.

    Lee and his wife did not force Allen against his will and Roger’s power of attorney is irrelevant. The standard for competence to make your own decisions about medical care is pretty low and every indication is that Allen was not incompetent. The police and paramedics were taking him to a hospital that he DOES go to sometimes.

    We don’t know if Roger came in storming about them taking him to the non-local hospital. Sounds like that could be the case per Roger’s daughter. Roger’s power of attorney, the civil union or even a marriage would be irrelevant, really.

    The last time I was in the hospital, one of the techs told me about someone coming into the hospital and shooting a patient on a gurney. That place was pretty on edge, much more so than previous times I’d been there.

  57. Allen is making the medical decisions for himself. There is no indication that Allen is incapable of making medical decisions. Roger cannot get Allen’s medical records at this time without Allen’s consent.

  58. Karen,

    The Couple’s Background

    Allen suffers from severe depression and is currently undergoing electro-shock treatment (ECT) twice a month because his medications are no longer allowing him to function normally.

    Allen has specifically excluded his family from having any say over his medical decisions because they have not been understanding of the impact of his depression.

    Not only have Roger and Allen granted each other power of attorney, but they are known throughout the hospital as a proud gay couple because they are regularly there for Allen’s treatments.

    Allen’s family has not been supportive of his relationship with Roger.

    http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/04/12/1857741/what-actually-happened-to-that-same-sex-couple-in-the-missouri-hospital/

  59. From what I read (all links) it seems to be that brother and sister-in-law were the first ones out of line, then the nurse, then the cops. Brother and sister-in-law were removed only after the patient insisted they be removed.

    I don’t fault Gorley for speaking up. Nurse should have had brother removed at the start of the conflict.

    It’s probably time to take the patient to his primary doctors at the other hospital.

  60. Elaine,

    Thank you for your update…. Depression is one of those diagnosis that folks have very little understanding….. I agree with the gentlmans decision… This is probably one area that the family should be made to be emotionally detached…..

    For what I understand ECT is not a decision to be taken lightly…..

  61. opuszczały pieczary, przeciągały się spośród chrzęstem pancerza, rozkładały zdrętwiałe plucky od czasu snu skrzydła.
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  62. AY,

    I have a dear friend who has suffered from depression for nearly a decade. She never leaves the house now. It is very sad. She is a brilliant woman who used to be a very outgoing and outspoken. She loved going to the theater and lectures and on trips to different places. It has been difficult for her husband who is a most caring and understanding man.

  63. You know Elaine….. That is the darkest place that I’ve ever seen…. And I’ve seen some dark places….

  64. AY,

    I have known some good people in my life who suffered from depression and mental illness. One was treated with ECT–which didn’t help–and two attempted suicide.

  65. AY,

    “She should just get over it…. ”

    I heard that in regard to the friend I wrote about. Many people don’t understand that depression is not something that one can just snap out of and get over. It’s not like people choose to be in depression.

  66. Elaine,

    If it were something that could just be snapped away….. I’d tried it by now…. Tried the other stuff as well…..

  67. AY, My daughter battles depression and it is heartbreaking when it overwhelms her. You have a disease that is controllable, just like the diabetes I battle. It’s a daily battle w/ good and bad days. I hope the good ones outnumber the bad ones. I am an eternal optimist w/ a good dose of common sense. Both you and my daughter have a keen sense of humor. That is an important tool in your battle. Remember, life is beautiful and NEVER give up hope..NEVER!

  68. Elaine,
    Roger’s power of attorney surely has not kicked in to make medical decisions for Allen. Allen is not incompetent. No one was overriding the power of attorney; it just wasn’t operative.

    We don’t know why Allen’s family is not supportive of the relationship with Roger. Maybe they just don’t like Roger but they did like other guys Allen was involved with. We don’t know. Allen’s family are not monsters if they come to see him and try to look after him.

    Families aren’t all ice cream and cake. My brother and sister don’t talk and my mother was very much opposed to my sister’s marriage (he had 4 children from an earlier marriage; sorry to say, my mother was right. Those kids were awful. They’re all adults now.)

  69. it’s the patient and the patients wishes that matter. if the hospital won’t allow that then they should find another hospital. if the family tries to block it, well, that’s what judges and court orders are for.

  70. AY is correct that ECT is one of the treatments of last resort. As currently done (called “modified ect”) it is not as bad as it was in the 1970s. Back then, no medication was given to modify or reduce the convulsion. Occasionally patients convulsed so hard they would pull ligaments and break bones. With modified ECT, the patient is given a tranquilizer or light anesthesia before treatment, and the convulsion is very mild. In some patients all you might see are fingers and toes twitching momentarily.

    Depression is as real as a heart attack, and I have no patience with those who dismiss it as some kind of character flaw. ECT is only used when medications don’t work. Approximately 15% of patients with major depression are medication resistant on normal antidepressants. If everything else fails, there are really two options. ECT or MAO inhibitors. If it were me, I would choose ECT before taking an MAO inhibitor.

    One reason for giving ECT is that it works fast. In a suicidally depressed patient, having to wait several weeks to build up a therapeutic level of antidepressants runs a terrible risk. The brain is an electrochemical organ, and new scanning technology has discovered depression to be associated with hyperactivity in a particular part of the brain. That seems counter-intuitive, given the sluggishness most depressed patients report. ECT seems to dampen the activity in a part of the brain called the left dorsolateral prefrontal cortical region. That is mapped as Brodmann areas 44, 45, and 46. An article in Science reports a study published in PNAS (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America). The Science report is a lot easier to read than the dense PNAS journal article explaining the findings of the PNAS article in a more readable form.

  71. The comedic genius, Jonathan Winters, has died. Mr. Winters suffered from severe depression but got great help @ The Institute of Living in Hartford, Ct. decades back. Robin Williams often says he could not have been a comedian w/o Winters paving the improv/stream of consciousness road.

  72. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Eerily creepy….. But it’s the truth….

  73. Nick,

    Thank you…. I had jut heard that Jonathan Winters was a depressive…. What I find ironic as well… Is he had a breakdown on stage in 1959 and made an impressive comeback…..

    OS,

    Thank you….. Another thing about Winters… He was a Marine…. He will be buried at sea… Or scattered…… He refused Electroshock treatment…. Because he said some to the effect tht that is what made him him…..

    There must be a reason that I really like KK….. And Sunday Morning Coming Down….. He is the only singer that gets it…… That song right….. He lived the battle as well….. He is also the son of a Major General….AF and a Rhodes Scholar to boot…..

  74. Karen,

    “We don’t know why Allen’s family is not supportive of the relationship with Roger. Maybe they just don’t like Roger but they did like other guys Allen was involved with. We don’t know. Allen’s family are not monsters if they come to see him and try to look after him. ”

    Did I say that Allen’s family members were monsters? Who are the “other guys” that Allen’s family approved of? Should an individual be required to select a life partner from among the people that one’s family approves of or should an individual be able to select for himself/herself a life partner that he/she loves and trusts?

  75. Elaine,
    Sure, family doesn’t run anyone’s love life but you can’t make people like each other. What I think really happened — can’t help but try to figure it out — was that Roger’s daughter got her dad all upset over the phone that Allen was being taken to that hospital and not the other one. She was on the scene and the police and paramedics weren’t listening to her so she got on the phone and complained to her father. He assumes its all Lee’s doing so he goes over there mad as hell.

    What Lee said at the hospital doesn’t matter because he wasn’t making any decisions for Allen. Its not the hospital’s fault if Lee said something and Roger went ballistic.

  76. Elaine, Yes Maude was this wonderful comedians way of getting in touch w/ his bipolar feminine side. He considered comedy therapy, and a release for all of that manic energy.

  77. Karen,

    That’s YOUR take on what happened. You’ve imagined your own scenario of what happened the day that Allen was hospitalized. You should take into consideration what the patient wanted…why he and Corley shared power of attorney. Allen and Corley entered into a civil union. Obviously, they loved each other.

  78. Nick,

    I think laughter is an excellent antidote for what ails us. Having a sense of humor and being able to see the funny side of things/life is a great gift.

  79. AY,

    Sunday Morning…..is among my favorite songs. It reflects places I’ve been myself and know well because my mother sufferedp from depression. Hang in there which is sll any of us can do.

  80. Elaine,
    What a wonderful clip of Jonathan Winters. He was one of my favorites growing up. I especially liked him in Its a Mad, Mad Mad Mad World!

  81. Man says hospital removed him from partner’s room
    By MARIA SUDEKUM
    Associated Press
    Posted Friday, Apr. 12, 2013
    http://www.star-telegram.com/2013/04/12/4771158/man-says-hospital-removed-him.html

    Excerpt:
    Brian Cook, spokesman for the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, said the agency is aware of Gorley’s complaints. Cook said the agency is “working to gather the facts and determine what steps to take in a speedy manner.”

    “All Americans are guaranteed the right to receive hospital visitors that they designate, and there are specific protections in our rules for same-sex couples across the country,” Cook said.

    According to an arrest report, Research Medical Center did not want Gorley’s partner to have visitors and contacted Kansas City police after Gorley continually refused to leave “and began to cause a disturbance by physically resisting security officers as they escorted him out of the patient’s room.”

    Doug Bonney, legal director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Kansas and Western Missouri, said the ACLU is concerned about the case. He said federal laws largely say patients determine who stays with them in the hospital.

    “The hospital should have asked the patient who he or she wants,” Bonney said. “That should be the end of it. If the person is conscious and, you know, not just completely out of it, that is the end of it. The patient decides.”

  82. If there was a disturbance, I really doubt it was one side. I would think most likely the patient’s husband and brother were both involved. So why wasn’t the brother asked to leave too? If I had been the only asked to leave and it was my husband, I probably would have become belligerent too. The main questions are when did what occur. Were the husband’s wishes on how the patient were to be cared for being followed or were thr brothers, if the brothers wishes were being carried out, then thr hospital was at fault for not checking into who had medical decision making. If the belligerence occurred after the husband was being ignored, it was totally understandable. Also if the patient had been at that hospital before, the ER most likely would have received his old chart which should contain a copy of the power of attorney. Really unless the husband was violent toward anyone first, most likely end brother and he, if it were necessary, should both have been asked to leave. And if it were a matter of who had the right of medical decision making- unless it was an an extreme emergency situation- which it most likely was not- as there has been no mention of a physician being present in the room providing direct care, then most likely there was time to check on who had the power to make decisions.

  83. Rex,
    Allen had the right to make medical decisions. The power of attorney is an irrelevancy. Allen was not incompetent.

    Patients don’t have a “right” to have visitors; hospitals have to have control over visitors.

    The brother WAS also asked to leave the hospital and he left. Roger seems to have come on the scene later than everyone else and seems to have come on the scene already angry over what his daughter told him on the phone. She told him he had to “get right over there.”

    You know, really all it says is that Allen is very fortunate to have an awful lot of people who care about him and his health. Many people have to spend months in the hospital without ever having a visitor.

  84. Actually Karen, while Allen may not normally be incompetent, the articles seem to indicate that at that point in time he must was considered to have diminished capacity. Whether that is true or not, both his husband and his brother seemed to think they had the right to decide his care which again seems to indicate that Allen couldn’t make decisions at that point. Now Allen and his husband had been together for five years. While within the realm of possibility , it is not really within the realm of probability that his brother and other members of his family would not know that he wanted his husband to call the shots. So assuming Allen was incapacitated, the question is when did the husband get irate. If he spontaneously became irate and argumentative then yes what happened to him was justified. If he became irate because someone was trying to interfere in his decision making capacity, then he was fully justified to make a stink, the hospital should have supported his decisions, and the brother is the one who should have been removed in handcuffs.

    Rex

  85. Rex,
    It sounds like Allen was not incapacitated to make decisions. His brother found him “sluggish” and called for paramedics. What medical decisions, anyway? No one’s thinking about pulling the plus on Allen and neither Roger nor Lee would have any input about what tests or medications the hospital gave Allen.

    It was the police and paramedics who decided to take him to that hospital per Roger’s daughter and its a hospital Allen does go to regularly.

    If situations like this have to be turned into “civil rights” matters, that is bad for everyone. Hospitals will go back to the very limited visiting that they used to have. I appreciate the expanded visiting thats allowed me to stay with loved ones all the time, even over night. But I can see hospitals curtailing everyone if they have to worry about lawsuits. If they can’t deal with disruptive people the way they see fit to deal with them, they will treat everyone the same: everybody is curtailed.

  86. Republicans Unanimously Approve Anti-Marriage Equality Resolution Without Debate
    By Zack Ford
    Apr 12, 2013
    http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/04/12/1861101/republicans-unanimously-approve-anti-marriage-equality-resolution-without-debate/

    Excerpt:
    At a retreat in Hollywood, California on Thursday, the Republican National Committee caved to pressure from social conservatives and unanimously approved a number of resolutions without any debate, including one opposing same-sex marriage.

    As ThinkProgress reported Wednesday, this resolution is based entirely on debunked junk science and assumptions that heterosexual relationships are objectively superior to same-sex couples. Here is some of the text:

    WHEREAS, the institution of marriage is the solid foundation upon which our society is built and in which children thrive; it is based in the conjugal relationship that only a man and a woman can form; […]

    WHEREAS, no Act of human government can change the reality that marriage is a natural and most desirable union; especially when procreation is a goal; […] therefore be it

    RESOLVED, the Republican national Committee affirms its support for marriage as the union of one man and one woman, and as the optimum environment in which to raise healthy children for the future of America.

    A second resolution reaffirming the party’s 2012 platform included a similar provision opposing same-sex marriage:

    WHEREAS, the 2012 Republican Platform states, “We believe that marriage, the union of one man and one woman must be upheld as the national standard, a goal to stand for, encourage, and promote through laws governing marriage.”

  87. Does anyone here not see that we are avoiding a very serious underlying question here: the provision of hospital services is a commodity which the consumer “chooses”, and, ergo, has complete control over…or does he? Once you decide to engage the services of some sort of medical provider, you do NOT relinquish control of your life to them from that point forward.

    If we let this discussion continue–of the points being bandied about here, we are letting a context get established that is very scary. Like with judges and prosecutors that have absolute immunity (from being held accountable for their misdeeds), and like with cops that see us all as terrorists instead of neighbors, letting the medical industry “assume” so much control over us is bad, very bad: we have a right to have our chosen support system by our side when we chose to undergo medical treatment, and the medical professional has an obligation to facilitate our choices.

  88. What we are talking about here is the critical thing that the medical industry needs before it can do ANYTHING to you, which is YOUR CONSENT.

    The medical industry can not have it both ways: they can’t argue that you gave consent to be treated as if your consent isn’t required. The power of attorney is a pre-event arrangement indicating how and when you want; the issue of consent dealt with when the powers that be determine that you are unable to decide whether to give your consent.

    The medical industry–and Research Medical can’t argue both the following, which is what they are doing:

    A. They argue that you can chose their hospital for avail yourself of their services–then, by their own reasoning, you are capable of choosing you which services you want, how and when those services are delivered, and what support system you want in place to facilitate your chosen treatment plan. Thus, your previously created power of attorney in your same-sex spouse also is a choice of yours that applies and has power.

    B. They argue that you are availing yourself of their services because you in the thralls of a medical emergency which has so severely impacted your ability to chose that THEY need to determine your treatment plan without your consent, in which case, again, your previously created power of attorney ALSO applies.

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