Illinois Court Upholds Dismissal of Alienation of Affection Case

An Illinois court dismissed a case alleging a new popular theory of recovery for jilted spouses being seen in more courts: alienation of affection. Despite recent press over the recent ruling of a $500,000 verdict (reduced to $50,000), actual cases show that most courts and states are hostile to the claims: viewing the affection already alienated before the entry of a second man or woman.

For the court ruling, click here

Alienation of affection remains a difficult action to win and requires in most states that the plaintiff show (1) love and affection of the alienated spouse for the plaintiff; (2) actual damages; and (3) overt acts, conduct or enticement by the defendant causing those affections to depart. Orbeta v. Gomez, 315 Ill.App.3d 687, 690 (2000). However, many courts have added a willful intent requirement and some states have been Alienation of Affections Acts that limit the actions.

Nevertheless, the largest award was some 2 million dollars in North Carolina. That state allows even employers to be sued under this theory.

20 thoughts on “Illinois Court Upholds Dismissal of Alienation of Affection Case”

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  3. Does anyone know if is possible to file for divorce or annulment (true alienation of affection) if your wife has never made love to you and this is your third year of marriage.

    My father in-law’s wife refuses to make love to him, she avoids him like the pledge, though she taunts him with “I will make love to you if you give me so much money” all the time, but then she never does.

    He has been trying to get her to come around through this whole marriage, but she refuses. For her, it is all about the money (she is a gold digger). She has managed to use all but the last reserves of his retirement, and he is now forced to go back to work. He is 73 years old. He recently came home absolutely exhausted and clucking his chest after a 12 hours shift and his wife actually said “So, where’s the money?” She obviously has no care for him at all. She never asked him even once if he was feeling okay.

    There are so many stories like this that have been going on for 3 year now, it is heart-wrenching. He is absolutely broke, so he has no money for lawyers.

    What can he do?

  4. Does my divorce have to final in order for me to file an Alienation of Affection Civil Lawsuit against the person who ruined my marriage?


  6. I can hardly believe this article has appeared on this blog in 2012.

    Didn’t “alienation of affection” get lost as a tort about 50 years back? Don’t tell me it’s gone from the Commonwealths and yet persists in various states around the country? People are having jury trials on this? HELLO HELLO pinch me, wake me up, this isn’t happening, is it?

    When do you get a vested interest in somebody’s affection? After a diamond? After a pledge? After a couple of kids? After religious vows? After ten years? Are there insurance policies to insure affections? Term policies? Whole affection?

    I’m dizzy. There are a few life interest cases being ignored and here we have alienation of affection all over again?

    How many question marks have I used? Have I fallen into that terrible bad-writer’s habit now?

  7. when you here women say stupid stuff like get over it, you should keep doinng what you was doing when you met him. child please!!! i keep doing what I was doing when i got married to my husband. When He lost his job I keep doing what i was doing. I paid the bills an bought the food. I made sure that all was well at home, but all at the same time this woman kept calling. Make plans with him. Late night texting, he could not come to bed. he stayed up into the daylight sending her texts messages. then he tried to play it off like he was doing something else. he look for her a house to live in. I was still trying to keep him from getting depress because i thought he was going through a depression until one day June 16, 2012 my husband grab the rest of his things through them in his RAV 4 and drove off into the wind. He did not give me a reason for leaving. When I call him he refused to answer his phone. I went to the store where he have began to work just to ge a copy of a divorce paper that he have repeatdly stated that he have filed. All at the same time his girlfriend was there buying furniture. So don’t say stupid mess get over it. you are not their hearts. and you certainly is not a God. Maybe you are one of those women who does such mess. This is why a man and a woman get married. if you did not know it. This woman worked with him while at la-z-boy. Now she is hanging or more less living with him in Matteson IL.

    T.k. Motogusinile and I was happily married. His last conversation on the phone was “has you ever thought about getting married to a Hispanic this hurt. I was left stuck with everything, while he was figuring out how to get to her.

  8. No matter what problems one has in a marriage that is NO reason, nor is it right to have an affair. PERIOD. It makes me laugh that when a man has an affair, the wife gets blamed for it!!! give me a break… Affairs are FANTASY… Married with kids and family, and paying the bills is REALITY.

  9. My theory on relationships (romantic, friends, family)

    We all have a BUCKET which represents our emotional needs and that bucket gets filled up with things that make us feel good. When you are in relationship and care for other person/people we fill their bucket and in return they fill ours which makes the relationship happy.

    When one person is selfish and doesn’t care they stop filling our bucket, but we still care for them and fill theirs. At some point our bucket gets very low or empty and there is just nothing more to give. That is when we start to accept other people who want to fill our bucket therefore our bucket is available.

    When you stop filling your spouse bucket, there will ALWAYS be someone else who wants that job. If you live together as couple but you act like roommates, sooner or later majority of us will want more, it’s our nature. We are not animals, taking care of young, shelter and food supply is not enough.

    Try it, it works 🙂

  10. Phyllis Schlafly ? not at all, However, yes I am some what (to a point) in opposition to modern feminism ideas. Women forget how to be women, but expect men to treat us as such, but that is another subject.

    The best way to get back at your ex is to rise above all, get your life together, meet someone new, do what you love doing, be happy and above all DO NOT SHOW him/her any EMOTIONS and yes HATE is also an emotion.

    By showing emotions, crying, begging, harassing, hatting, wanting revenge, spending money on lawyers to hurt them, all you do is feeding into their ego and they are laughing at you, because guess what ? They DO NOT CARE about you, so why would you?

    Walk away with your head up, with some dignity and show them you LOST NOTHING when they left.

    When you meet that new man/woman don’t make the same mistake, don’t take them for-granted because NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING especially AFFECTION. You got to give to receive, so do your part this time.

  11. First I am sorry for all your pain to all those wife’s and husbands who were cheated on, but honestly in most cases your marriages were over and you hold on to your spouse either for financial or social reasons even if kids involved.

    If you treat your spouse the same way as the day you married, most of you would not be resorting to “alienation of affection” idiotic law.
    You alienated that affection on your own, your spouse will not be looking for attention from another if they have that attention at home.

    Greet him with a kiss at the door, make love to him like the first time, buy her flowers on your way home, gees even “I love you” card for no reason would do.
    Your spouse is not piece of furniture in your house or a source of income, or just to fix that leaking faucet, she is not your maid. Your spouse is NOT a plant that looks good in your living room as long as you water it once a week. Your spouse is a human being who needs to be nurture, adored, complemented, respected and adored to achieve, to strive, to be happy.

    Make love to your spouse like you did before you got married, put on something sexy for him, put on those heels even if just in the bedroom. If you are his wife and his mistress he will not look at any other woman. If you tell your wife she is pretty, that she smells good today, notice her hair being done and tell her she looks sexy to you she will not accept other man’s attention.

    Don’t blame other woman or man for your shortcomings, YOU GIVE HIM AWAY, HE WAS NOT STOLEN. You gave up your rights to that man or woman the moment you forgot why he was attracted to you in the first place, you took him for-granted. He sign a contract (marriage certificate) but if you are not the same woman he married, then he was married to your representative and he does not want YOU.

    We all have one life to live, why do you think you are entitled to someone’s affection ? If it is gone then get on with your life, look at your own actions, look at yourself in the mirror and asses how desirable are you ? Asses your personality not only your looks. Your ugly personality, your controlling narcissistic tendency might be what drove him or her away.

    In 99% cases it is YOU who should be blamed. So get over, Your spouse left you and does not want you, someone better come along and you lost. OVER.

  12. I want to sue for alienation of affection. First point of contact with catching my husband was in December 2009, which I saw them in a restaurant after a friend contacted me. When she stood up I asked if she was pregnant and both her and my husband said no. Feb. 2010, I see a text on his phone saying “Good morning baby I love you”. Long story short I was then told how he was stressed out from keeping the secret of his baby he had with her. I didn’t leave and decided to try to work it out, but I knew something so I started recording conversation unbeknowest to my husband. Long story short, found out she started driving by our house, which he was pissed about. I called her and told her that she better not ever come by my house again. Now she is getting crazy. This was April 2010, that same day she came to my house to attack me. I ended up breaking my wrist during the attack and my wrist will never be 100% again. My husband and I have since left the state and are trying to work on things but the damage is so irreversible I don’t think we are going to make it. I want her to pay for what she has done. Who attacks the wife??? Who in the hell does she think she is! She will do this to someone else. I just recently got her full name because my husband lied about it. I know its almost a year later since I found out about the baby but I just recently got her name and the damage to my marriage I don’t think will ever be repaired, no matter how hard I try. She should pay! What do you think

  13. If I live in IL and my husband of 14 years is pursued by a women in MIchigan can I sue her for alienation of affection? I an pregnant by the way and she knew he was married yet pursued Jim anyway.

  14. Saying something is “normal” and saying something is “right” are two different things. It is normal and legal in jordan to stone adulterers to death. Violating vows should not be rewarded by anti-male courts. You cannot drop to animal level responses like that for the adulterer without allowing the same consideration for the adulteree. Emotional abuse is bad like physical abuse and it is normal to hurt someone who is hurting you.

    So “normal” isn’t a good excuse to violate a family imho.

  15. it is genetically normal and natural for people to cheat. especially men. we may be a seemingly intelligent species but we are not far from our animal ancestors. take a good look at yourself in the mirror. do men desire you? do men strike up conversations with you at work, at the store? are you hit on? the answer is no. sadly, your husband it still one of those men who ignores you like the rest of them do. just because you are married does not change how he is feeling on the inside. sexual desire it the most powerful force in the universe. even in countries where the penalty is torture and death it happens. you can’t sue the laws of nature. you have to have other passions, educational interests or work in life and not center everything around your husband. find someone who will want you, even if they are much older or unattractive, who cares? being desired is everything. i am an attractive woman who is being hit on constantly, i know what it is, and that it will end someday and i don’t care. i am happy to see the truth. i see what women don’t see. why i never married at 46, i date a lot and pursue my own interests, good friends, experiences. i would never put 100% into a man. it is unhealthy and can only lead to unhappiness. the world i see, it unreal, it is men of every age, social status, married means nothing. they all pursue other women, it is genetic. don’t fight the reality of the history of the world. enjoy who you are.

  16. my wife filed for a order of protection against me under the influance of her so called best friend. we have not even had a bad argument in 17 years of being together ! I put up a concrete wall so i cant even see or call her . I filed a motion to vacate the order of protection. I could tell right away from listening to the judge that if any one said they were going to file for divorce the order would not be lifted,without even revue of the so called reasons for the protection order. now her boyfriend can go stay at the house and i cant do nothing to stop it ! thats the only reason she wanted the protection in the first place to commit adultry ! she is in no way scared i would hurt her.

  17. I 100% agree with the above comment. Some women target married men such as the one who went after my husband. She knew he was married and told her co-workers she wanted someone with a good job so she could live a better life style. He, by no means is innocent but she already had a history of dating married men. The previous man was a police officer and when the relationship began to fall apart they got into a shoving match and she had him arrested. She then put a restraining order against him and he ended up loosing his job. She has no respect for herself or anyone else. She herself is divorced with 3 children but luckily the children live with their father during the school year. She does have her kids all summer so they do witness all the men who spend the night with her.

  18. i think should have up held this law. It might stop some of these women who ruin marriages. i have been married to the same man 35 years. A cook at a popular family owened bb place got his number from his credit card or was on recourd because this place also has camp ground. She began o text him i happen uoon this while looking at our bill on line. It went back 7 months, The sexting turned in to the real thing. I had to leave my dad who hs cancer in the state we live go to Illinois several time to try to catch them.i told him i knew he come clean was tring to break off with her she kelp texting him 9 percent of the time she was first but he would finally text her back. She is married with 2 children still at home our ground with children. It will never be the same between us, I feel like for 7 months she has got what she wanted. My life is ruined hrs goes on because her husband of 29 something years does not know. This job will end soon husband will leave this state She will meet another man ruin his marriage. I wish i could tske her to court she has even been in my 5th wheeler had sex with him on my couch. Yes i know he is 100 percent to blaime also. I would love to take her to court, i am being tested for unprotected sex and aides she or he had no respect for me to use protection. maybe if more of these type of women where in court name in paper this would not happen to another wife.

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