Don’t Touch My Junk!

Don’t want to go through the TSA’s full body scan or porn-o-scan? The TSA has an alternative: “enhanced” pat-downs. These pat-downs gropings have one objective – coerce you into going through the body scanner.

T-shirts with the logo on the left are available here.

If a significant number of passengers choose to opt-out of the body scanners, the time required to do a normal pat-down would cause such delays that travelers would find alternatives to flying. The airlines would raise hell. To prevent this, the TSA has resorted to the terror tactic of “enhanced” pat-downs.

There is big money at stake here. Former DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff actively lobbies for the scanner manufacturer Rapiscan via his firm the Chertoff Group. Each unit has a price tag of $25 million and the Obama administration has provided $1 billion in stimulus money for the purchase of scanners.

The Electronic Privacy Information Center (EPIC) has filed a petition for review and motion for an emergency stay with District of Columbia Court of Appeals. EPIC said that the program is “unlawful, invasive, and ineffective.” With this much money at stake, the Fourth Amendment doesn’t stand a chance.

I expect members of Congress to act outraged, hold hearings wherein they act outraged, and then do nothing.  Politicians will use this opportunity to get their sound bites on the evening news, then something else will come along and distract us.

If you decide to go the “enhanced” pat-down route, you could pull a Meg Ryan:

H/T: ÆtherCzar, ACLU, EPIC.
-David Drumm (Nal)

247 thoughts on “Don’t Touch My Junk!”

  1. Interesting points… (Probably only a matter of time before we see “routine” car “checkpoints” — for nationaly security reasons, of course…)

  2. anon nurse,

    I hope the TSA moves quickly to adopt these searches as I think there’s a better chance that they will be rejected (by citizens or the courts) once outside of the apparently sacred area of airline security.

    That said, the chances of restraining illegal searches by the TSA are clearly quite low.

    More likely in my view is that the government allows less-intrusive transportation access for those willing to 1) register all tickets and travel plans with the government, and 2) background checks and biometric identifiers at checkpoints

  3. Thanks for posting the link, puzzling…

    The acronyms alone say a lot — VIPER or VIPR, in this case. Someone probably gets paid to create them… (One of the NSA’s programs is called “Perfect Citizen”, which sounds perfectly Orwellian.)

  4. As I predicted above in the second entry to the thread, the TSA is now introducing airport-style searches at bus stations:


  5. Who would have thought that the ruling by the Supreme Court will probably be:

    against body scanners and groping: Scalia, Thomas, Alito and Roberts

    for body scanners and groping: Ginsburg, Sotomayor, Kagen and Breyer

    up in the air: Kennedy

    I did and you saw it here first. But it is consistent with their philosophical views so it really isn’t a stretch to call.

  6. I’m voting with my wallet and never taking another plane flight as long as I live. There’s just no way I’m allowing anyone to treat me like a criminal.

    I do like the idea of using dogs in airports…..forgot by now who mentioned this on an above post (seems to be way to many “argument” posts in the way). Dogs have no political agenda.

    I’m really offended by these perverts touching children. Will airlines provide therapy for children as they try to deal with being sexually abused by strangers right in front of their parents??

    This is about as vile an issue as I’ve seen.

  7. Try this, When you go to the shower move both hot and cold knobs back and forth. Each time you make an adjustment check the temperature of the water by placing your hand palm up and lift your fingers in an upward motion several times.

    You have now completed the training course offered by the TSA for pat down.

    May voy con supermecado, escribe mass e ahora. Adios me cupannero

  8. As long as were clear on who is suggesting turning this into a full blown militarized police state so you don’t have to see any Mexicans, er, avoid underwear bombers.

  9. Thats what I’m saying to do. If it comes across as the opposite just remember my reading level only goes up to the fourth grade and my comprehension level is less.

  10. badtroll,

    There you go (again) inserting premises into my statements that don’t exist. I don’t think a militarized border helps a damn thing. That’s what I’ve been saying all along.

    It’s funny watching you chase your own tail though.

  11. The U.S. military has provided an updated estimate on that cost, first published by a taxpayer watchdog group and confirmed by, and the number is staggering — $181,757 per hour. That’s the price tag for shuttling around President Obama, who, as it turns out, has spent more days abroad in his first two years than any other president.

    Master Sgt. Jeff Capenos, with the 89th Airlift Wing, told the figure reflects operating costs
    ranging from fuel to engine and aircraft maintenance. Asked why other public estimates, which typically did not exceed $100,000, were so much lower, he said: “They were probably inaccurate.”

    Read more:

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