Kelly Erwin, 48, is accused of being a serial dumper. Not trash or industrial waste, mind you. Erwin, the coach of a girl’s Lacrosse team called the “Scoopers,” is accused of defecating in the driveways and yards of neighbors in Maryland. What I found most interesting, however, was the first response of police to Erwin.
When first confronted, Ervin, 48, insisted that he goes running almost every day around 4 AM, and when he hits the two-mile mark, “he has to have a bowel movement.” For that purpose, he explained, he carried toilet paper. For some reason, this made sense to Ervin.
Saying that he was embarrassed by the inquiry, Erwin insisted that he has been marking his territory in this fashion for twenty years. Here is the intriguing part: the police listened to his story, took his confession, and then asked him to stop pooping in his neighbors’ yards and driveways. That is it. They assured him that there was no current criminal investigation despite the fact that he just confessed to them that he was defecating in public for 20 years.
A few days later a neighbor came forward with a videotape. He was tired of cleaning up poop and toilet paper and had installed a camera. Robert Bryan Robinson said that this has happened too many times, so he rigged the surveillance system to catch the culprit. It worked. The camera shows Ervin not running but pulling over his Jeep, and then defecating in Robinson’s driveway. When confronted again, Ervin again confessed and said that he saw the camera at the last minute. Finally, the police in Salisburg decided to charge him. The charge however is not public indecency or exposure or the defecating in public. It is littering or dumping under 100 pounds, a misdemeanor. That seems a bit light.
I am just waiting for the sentencing hearing when Ervin is asked the standard question of “how can you assure this court that this will not happen again?” and answers with “Depends.”
By the way, the “Scoopers” coach works in the medical field.
Source: Smoking Gun
TD,
you’re long gone, I’ve been in the hospital without net access.
but just in case, i’ll inquire as before. where on the neuse does that commuinty lie, below the fall line I suppose..
here you can drink the water of a lake 200 miles long which ends in the middle of Stockholm. Try that in America, folks.
Around here on the Neuse River the humans are all correctly socialized and they poop in toilets, flush to the city disposal center, which flushes raw poop into the Neuse River, the fish eat the poop, the people eat the fish, and the circle goes unbroken.
I hope that the guy with the unkind words about dogs poopin in yards has already eaten fish for dinner before he reads this.
At least we dogs dont poop in the Neuse River and blame it on the pig farmers or Weyheuser.
pete,
lol and another Yuck!
Would there be a penalty if Robert Robinson posted the video of the culprit in action?
“Robert Bryan Robinson said that this has happened too many times, so he rigged the surveillance system to catch the culprit.”
‘too many times’? I wonder what the threshold was?
and then while driving away he left skidmarks.
My aunt used to sing a song about Pepsi Cola, pigs, and Victrolas. The chorus was:
And the wind blew,
And the $#!+ flew,
And we couldn’t see
For a day or two.