Many of us have been distraught over the attacks on privacy and the press by the Obama Administration as well as authoritarian turn taken by presidents in Egypt and Turkey. I am pleased to announce that I have finally found a president who is not only a reformer but completely free of special interest influence. Yesterday, my son Aidan Turley was elected president of his elementary school. He was able to use both general and single issue campaign themes. Single issue voters seemed energized by his campaign to put air fresheners in all bathrooms — using the above picture on posters near bathrooms with the theme of “Need A Breath Of Fresh Air? Vote For Aidan Turley.” It is the elementary school version of a “chicken in every pot.”
I showed great restraint in not endorsing Aidan’s candidacy or swift boating his competitors on the blog. It turns out that he could secure office on the issues — a curious notion for a Washington D.C. area school. He had some help from his big brother Benjamin who skillfully inserted his face in the picture of the framers signing the Constitution as part of a poster proclaiming “History Counts” and detailing Aidan’s past service to the school “and 300 years as a time traveler.”
Now I know that we are all a bit cynical in light of the Obama Administration’s record. If Aidan follows suit, he will secretly arrange with the principal for searches of lockers and collection of communications captured between students to protect against “potential” disruptions. However, he could guarantee total transparency by submitting any reading of actual mail to a secret body that operates on a secret basis with secret legal interpretations.
Yet, for now, hope springs eternal. For civil libertarians lost in a world of authoritarian abuse, there remains a place where freedom and hope still flourishes. I would say that he has pledged a torture free environment but there are still those school lunches and the mandatory dance classes during gym.