Many of us have been distraught over the attacks on privacy and the press by the Obama Administration as well as authoritarian turn taken by presidents in Egypt and Turkey. I am pleased to announce that I have finally found a president who is not only a reformer but completely free of special interest influence. Yesterday, my son Aidan Turley was elected president of his elementary school. He was able to use both general and single issue campaign themes. Single issue voters seemed energized by his campaign to put air fresheners in all bathrooms — using the above picture on posters near bathrooms with the theme of “Need A Breath Of Fresh Air? Vote For Aidan Turley.” It is the elementary school version of a “chicken in every pot.”
I showed great restraint in not endorsing Aidan’s candidacy or swift boating his competitors on the blog. It turns out that he could secure office on the issues — a curious notion for a Washington D.C. area school. He had some help from his big brother Benjamin who skillfully inserted his face in the picture of the framers signing the Constitution as part of a poster proclaiming “History Counts” and detailing Aidan’s past service to the school “and 300 years as a time traveler.”
Now I know that we are all a bit cynical in light of the Obama Administration’s record. If Aidan follows suit, he will secretly arrange with the principal for searches of lockers and collection of communications captured between students to protect against “potential” disruptions. However, he could guarantee total transparency by submitting any reading of actual mail to a secret body that operates on a secret basis with secret legal interpretations.
Yet, for now, hope springs eternal. For civil libertarians lost in a world of authoritarian abuse, there remains a place where freedom and hope still flourishes. I would say that he has pledged a torture free environment but there are still those school lunches and the mandatory dance classes during gym.
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Congratulations to Aiden!!
Congratulations!
May this be the first in a long line of presidencies for you (if that’s what you want), Mr. President. So long as none of them last more than two terms. 😀
Congratulations, Mr. President.
Congratulations.
Congratulations, President Turley!!!
I would take him as POTUS over what we have now. Do you think I jest?
Congrats to President Turley! Great campaign poster!!
Congratulations to Aidan! And Ben helped you say. Hmmm, I seem to recall two other politically inclined brothers that did pretty well for themselves back in the day … 🙂
Congrats, Has fundraising begun for the next election yet? I have to say, w/ those gas masks I’m thinking of LBJ’s mushroom cloud ad.
Encourage him to become the CEO of ExonMobile: more pay and less stress.
As mespo said… Hail to the chief…
Just don’t let him write letters to Russian…. Might get unexpected visitors….
Hail to the Chief.
Just :).
Your son is a great campaigner. Congrats!
I wouldn’t mind doing a little time traveling myself.