By Mark Esposito, Weekend Contributor
Author’s Note: Grace Under Pressure is an ongoing series of posts honoring everyday people who courageously make positive differences in their own lives and consequently in the lives of others. It is my own personal affirmation that unexpected heroes live among us and that their service is quiet but unshakable proof that virtue really is its own reward – and ours, too.
They buried little eight-year-old Martin Cobb, Jr. here in Richmond (Va.) on Friday afternoon. Rev. Theodore L. Hughey, pastor of Abundant Life Church, praised the youngster for his courage and then went on to condemn the community and the bureaucrats who oversee it for letting crime fester and forgetting about the children who suffer from it. A handmade sign above the tiny coffin read “Pound for pound, year for year, few greater heroes … if any.”
And little Martin, as his neighbors in the Mosby Court public housing project knew him, was a hero. A small stature caused by an open heart surgery while he was just three-months-old hid a fighting spirit. Many neighbors thought he was only three or four years old. One of them, Harry Hunter, recalled that “He was so small, I used to carry him in my book bag.”
But no one “carried” Little Martin on Thursday evening a week ago when he died defending his sister from a sexual attack at the hands of an alleged 16-year-old sexual predator who, at his young age, had already been charged with viciously assaulting another young boy and has suffered mental health issues.
Marty and his eleven-year-old sister were devoted to each other. Growing up without a father figure and living with a mother who worked to sustain them, they stuck together. Local proprietors recalled the two stopping by in the afternoon to indulge Marty’s rather modest vice for “Hot Fries,” a fast-food snack with a kick of Tabasco. Mosby Court is one of Richmond’s toughest neighborhoods plagued with crime and drugs so the two were always together out of love for each other and fear of the surroundings.
On Thursday evening last, love and fear would intersect at the children’s home on Brandon Road with horrific consequences. Then, according to press accounts, 16-year-old Mairese Jershon Washington, burst into the residence allegedly intent on sexually assaulting Marty’s sister. Confronted with the invasion, Little Martin fought back with all that his four-foot frame would muster. It took a brick to the head and a strangler’s hold to stop the young boy. His assailant retreated, but not before dumping Martin’s little body on the railroad tracks behind his home.
Mourners here Friday were sad and proud. “As soon as he could talk, I told (him) he’s the man of the house. That’s what he did. He’s a hero,” his mother said. “I’m proud of him. I’m proud that he stuck up for his sister. He did what he was taught,” family friend Geraline Pitchford added. Another neighbor Sudan Aunu said, “To have the courage to defend his sister as if he was a grown man. His sister is alive today because of him.”
Rev. Hughey’s words struck some as off the point Friday or a disservice to the heroism of the victim. But were they really? How can a community allow a crime infested neighborhood to wallow decade after decade and do little if anything to address the real problems of poverty, lack of father figures, and unaddressed mental health issues. Virginia has been sorely lacking in answers for all three and it took a highly publicized case of State Senator Cree Deeds’ maiming at the hands of his mentally ill son to even raise the issue of shoddy mental health treatment. Poverty and unstable homes bear hardly a mention in this southern city where conservative policies rule and “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” is deemed an article of faith yet only a historical reality for the second and third generation monetized elite who run the town. Rev. Hughey was calling that out and trying make Marty’s death mean more than an icon of family fidelity and intrepidity. He wanted the second grader’s death to bring change. But change for the benefit of the city’s children, it seems, takes more courage than even Martin’s selfless act can accomplish. It takes a community’s courage not just one small person’s. At least, the community has a blueprint for that change now.
A memorial fund has been established in Little Martin’s name at the Wells Fargo Bank called the “Keys For Marty” fund here in Richmond. Donations can be made at any Wells Fargo branch.
Source: Richmond Times Dispatch
~Mark Esposito, Weekend Contributor
Great discussion on this thread!
They both worked their way through college waiting tables. My one sister worked for a tough pair of Greek brothers in New Haven. The diner was open EVERY day of the year 24 hours. One brother worked midnight to noon, the other noon to midnight EVERY day! The best tippers and customers are restaurant people. We know how horrible people can be and try and make up for it when served. The worst thing a server can do is the same as the worst one of my baseball players can do..not hustle. If he/she is hustling I will excuse everything else.
Mespo:
I am curious. When you say that conservatives are only selectively compassionate:
1) Are Democrats non-selectively compassionate? When something happens to a conservative, for instance, are they equally compassionate?
2) In what way are your conservative friends less compassionate than your Democratic ones? Do you consider a judgment on personal responsibility to be a sign of less compassion? Do you consider a work requirement to be less compassionate?
I am hoping that you can provide some examples. Because I’ll bet your conservative friends do not feel any less humane than your Democratic ones.
Good for your sisters, to vote with their feet!
Maybe the liberals some people socialize with are cheapskates. That doesn’t make it true of all liberals. The people I socialize with–whether liberal or conservative–all tip well…sometimes more than 20 percent.
Karen S:
I have lots of conservative friends. Like I said they are very compassionate, but only selectively so.
mespo – you have a lot of conservative friends, is that like saying I cannot be racist, I have a lot of black friends?
Karen, Growing up in a family where we all worked in the family restaurant, we all learned that @ an early age. My sisters have walked out on a-hole dates who treat servers rudely.
Nick – you can always judge someone’s character by how they treat the wait staff.
There are two different issues facing inequality of pay:
1) We need equal pay for equal work, and we need to address real gender discrimination when we see it.
2) The other reason for a disparity is that women are traditionally the caregivers. They are more likely to take time off from work for each pregnancy, which puts them behind on projects and other work that can qualify them for promotions. They tend to take off more days than their spouses to care for sick kids. Some leave the work force for years to raise their kids and then return when they’re older. And some just work part time to find a balance where they contribute income but still have time for their children.
It matters greatly which category a disparity in pay falls into. Was it discrimination, or was it a choice, which is a good thing. It is wonderful that many women have the choice to work part time or take time off. Women have a choice about whether they want to get married and/or have a family.
But we must be careful not to claim unfairness in the specific circumstance where a woman who’s worked for 10 years is not paid the same as her male counterpart, if those 10 years also included multiple long stretches off of work, or working part time.
KarenS, It goes beyond donations. Red States are good tippers, Blue States poor tippers. My liberal friends tend to tip 10-15%, always having some horseshit complaint. I always kick in enough to make it @ least 20%. When I am on my own, 20-25% or more. Always tip housekeepers.
Mespo:
If you believe that the only compassion for the poor that you hear is from Democrats, you must not have very many conservative friends.
Because statistically conservatives donate more of their own money to charity than Democrats (who vote to donate other people’s.)
Mespo:
“But as for the reasons for poverty, that requires an encyclopedic answer that starts with a lack of education and family structure.”
Here here.
But poverty exists in rural areas and the city. There are many contributing factors to poverty, depending on the locale. But absolutely education and broken families are huge contributors.
How do Democrats plan on keeping families intact? Because I believe that needs to come from within the community. I would love for there to be a program that would encourage people to be responsible, use condoms or birth control, wait until they are married and financially stable to start a family, and then try their best to make the marriage work. (Because their kids are going to pay for it if they don’t do any or all of the above.) Pretty much all of these moms who got pregnant out of wedlock knew how babies were made. There were already so many ways to get free or low cost birth control and condoms. In many communities, it’s just expected to start a family while you’re dating. It’s not always accidental.
Programs that help kids stay in school can help, but they cannot solve everything.
The community is being decimated by the destruction of the nuclear family. And although the notion of a nuclear family seems quaint in some circles today, the facts show there are very real consequences for its disappearing from the culture.
Only 1 in 4 black children are born in wedlock.
The WH needs to pay their women equal wages before preaching to us!
Women need to empower themselves. They need to say no to the black culture that calls them “b!tches” and “ho’s” and treat them like sperm receptacles. They need to boycott sexist and racist music that treats them like sex slaves. They need to take control of their own bodies, nobody can do that for them but themselves! “The Lord helps them who help themselves.” On the male side, REAL men need to be honored and they need to forcefully denounce the prison culture that glorifies this dysfunctional, depraved mindset. Good black folks know this. The Pastor Hughey spoke about this in his eulogy.
Annie – yes, intact families can also be poor. And, yes, obviously, condoms and birth control will help bring that enormous percentage of babies born to unwed mothers down. (And condoms can help a high STD rate, too.)
Here is a hypothetical situation: Someone gets an entry-level job at 17 years old, and then gets pregnant. The dad is not around. That means no college, and no time to learn more skills.
Obviously, if someone tries to raise a family on an entry-level job, it will be enormously difficult. There are programs in place in many states that can help those moms take classes and improve their long-term future. And those are great.
But, we do we tell our kids to:
1) Stay in school
2) Don’t do drugs or hang out with people who do
3) Don’t break the law
4) Don’t start a family before you’re married
5) When you are married, get as financially stable as you can before starting a family
Why has this advice been passed down through the generations? Because they have very real, long-lasting, detrimental effects on people.
When a girl gets pregnant by a guy when she’s 16, it’s not “conservatives keeping her down;” it’s usually her own choices. And I definitely support programs that can help her get on her feet and provide for her family. But it is tough.
Instead of blaming outside influences and taking a completely helpless attitude, any location or demographic where there is a 75% rate of children born out of wedlock needs to take the reins and change its course.
Because you cannot absolve yourself of all responsibility for how your life turns out.
Mespo,
Empowering women with equal pay on the job. And as mentioned earlier, don’t advocate for the removal of contraception and removal or underfund Head Start and the list goes on.
Annie:
The best way to end poverty, as history shows, is to empower women. That’s the case from Africa to Alabama.
Karen S:
“And the grinding poverty and crime that exists in Democratic strongholds is because . . . ?”
*******************
Actually most poverty is in rural areas where Repubs seem to have the sentiment of the people. But as for the reasons for poverty, that requires an encyclopedic answer that starts with a lack of education and family structure. The policies of both parties (Naive Paternalism for the Dems and arrogant indifference for the Repubs) contribute to the mess, but the fact is that the only compassion I hear for the poor comes from the Democratic side. (“Pull yourself up is not compassion in my book”). We all know handouts don’t work but there is a moral difference between offering a hand up and slapping someone in the face with that same hand. Like Will Rogers said, I’d rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it. Some Repubs take the opposite view.
Karen, one of the biggest obstacles that were thrown at them were low wages. As far as unwed mothers go, one of the best ways is to make sure they aren’t having multiple babies out of wedlock by making birth control very accessible and affordable. Babies are also born into families with the parents being married, but still mired down in poverty because of low wages.