If you can guess what Willis Gene Burdette, 72, was just indicted for, you have a serious need for therapy. It involves orange juice and a truly disgusting alleged crime.
He allegedly used a house key left inside of the 61-year-old woman’s shed and entered her residence. on August 10th in Massillon, a city outside Canton., Police say Burdette was caught on videotape as he ejaculated into a bottle of orange juice, shook it up, and put the juice back in the refrigerator. He was indicted this week for burglary and contaminating a substance for human consumption.
The indictment charges that he “did knowingly mingle a biological substance and/or harmful substance, to wit: semen, with a drink, when he knew or had reason to believe that the drink may be ingested or used by another person.”
This is a relatively uncommon charge so the Ohio code was worth looking at. It appears that he will fall under the “biological agent” category and could face 15 years.
2927.24 Contaminating substance for human consumption or use or contamination with hazardous chemical, biological, or radioactive substance – spreading false report of contamination.
(A) As used in this section:
(1) “Poison” has the same meaning as in section 3719.01 of the Revised Code.
(2) “Drug” has the same meaning as in section 4729.01 of the Revised Code.
(3) “Hazardous chemical, biological, or radioactive substance” means any of the following:
(a) Any toxic or poisonous chemical, the precursor of any toxic or poisonous chemical, or any toxin;
(b) Any disease organism or biological agent;
(c) Any substance or item that releases or is designed to release radiation or radioactivity at a level dangerous to human life.
(4) “Biological agent” means any microorganism, virus, infectious substance, or biological product that may be engineered through biotechnology, or any naturally occurring or bioengineered component of any microorganism, virus, infectious substance, or biological product that may be engineered through biotechnology, capable of causing death, disease, or other biological malfunction in a human, an animal, a plant, or another living organism, deterioration of food, water, equipment, supplies, or material of any kind, or deleterious alteration of the environment. . . .
(B) Except as provided in division (D) of this section, no person shall do any of the following:
(1) Knowingly mingle a poison, hazardous chemical, biological, or radioactive substance, or other harmful substance with a food, drink, nonprescription drug, prescription drug, or pharmaceutical product, or knowingly place a poison, hazardous chemical, biological, or radioactive substance, or other harmful substance in a spring, well, reservoir, or public water supply, if the person knows or has reason to know that the food, drink, nonprescription drug, prescription drug, pharmaceutical product, or water may be ingested or used by another person. For purposes of this division, a person does not know or have reason to know that water may be ingested or used by another person if it is disposed of as waste into a household drain including the drain of a toilet, sink, tub, or floor. . . .
(E)
(1) Whoever violates division (B)(1) or (2) of this section is guilty of contaminating a substance for human consumption or use or contamination with a hazardous chemical, biological, or radioactive substance. Except as otherwise provided in this division, contaminating a substance for human consumption or use or contamination with a hazardous chemical, biological, or radioactive substance is a felony of the first degree. If the offense involved an amount of poison, the hazardous chemical, biological, or radioactive substance, or the other harmful substance sufficient to cause death if ingested or used by a person regarding a violation of division (B)(1) of this section or sufficient to cause death to persons who are exposed to it regarding a violation of division (B)(2) of this section or if the offense resulted in serious physical harm to another person, whoever violates division (B)(1) or (2) of this section shall be imprisoned for life with parole eligibility after serving fifteen years of imprisonment.
(2) Whoever violates division (C)(1) or (2) of this section is guilty of spreading a false report of contamination, a felony of the fourth degree.
Effective Date: 05-15-2002
now we know what’s in the orange juice in the fridge of a woman (btw – who has surveillence cams in their kitchen?)
My question is what’s in the water in Ohio? Seems like every other week there’s a new bizarre story. And then there’s them clowns
HOW did she find out this happened? Did she drink it???? I wonder how she got the nerve to call the police and explain her theory. Poor woman. This is a kind of sexual assault, and it would have exposed her to any sexually transmitted disease he may have.
This reminds of the Cookie Teacher, who did the same thing except with cookies he fed to his blindfolded students. The Teachers Union defended him and fought his firing. So he retired, and will have a nice well funded pension when he gets out of prison.
Karen S, surely you jest with your revulsion. Have you never worshipped the sacred sperm?
A classic! Thanks for posting.
There’s a dentist in San Diego with an advertisement that reminds me of this guy. His first name is Peter and the ad says ‘he if it can be done in your mouth, he is educated in it’. Perhaps this neighbor is “an educated man”.
There a case for adulterating a liquid, but that is it. Unless his sperm is carrying HIV, AIDS or Zika, I do not see a case for anything else. And, in general, there is nothing harmful in the oral ingestion of sperm. And, no you cannot get pregnant that way.
On the flipside, I think he has a civil and criminal case for her publishing pornographic pictures of him without his permission.
I dunno. It wasn’t a “harmful” substance unless he was a vector of some communicable disease or she was protein intolerant, so he gets an acquittal on the 2927.24 charge.
Was there a breaking and entering when he used the key? If so, what felony was he intent on committing even if he did break in? I don’t know that a burglary can be proved either.
He saw the shot, so he took it. Dude’s really bored in his autumn.
Olly, LOL! Masillon, Ohio has been a mecca for high school football over generations. Paul Brown and Chris Spielman attended Masillon Washington HS.
My college football coach (I was on the team for two seasons anyway), Bob Commings (who was the 1957 Rose Bowl MVP), was the coach at Massillon Washington High School for five seasons from 1969-1973:
“Commings’ teams had a combined 43–6–2 record. His 1970 Massillon team had an undefeated 10–0 record, outscoring their opponents 412–29 and winning a state poll championship. His 1971 team lost two games by one point each but outscored their other eight opponents 287–18. His 1972 team took a 10–0 record to the first Ohio state playoffs before losing. His 1973 team was unbeaten before dropping its season finale to archrival Canton McKinley. The 21–0 loss to the Bulldogs was his worst loss in five years at Massillon.”
Steve, Love the anecdote. Thanks. They could do a Friday Night Lights set in Ohio, Western PA., or a few other regions as well.
Steve, I didn’t know you were a Hawkeye. I’m going to guess you were a wide receiver?
Nick, I was a Hawkeye for only two seasons, but I could’ve been a Hall of Famer with the fantastic job I did on the scout team during the week. I was the third-team center behind Ed Myers (OSU great and All-Am center Steve Myers’ little brother) and Jim Hilgenberg (Wally Hilgenberg’s nephew), both a year ahead of me. I never played a second in a varsity game, and my position was warming the pine for the starters, mostly. There wasn’t much of a a chance of changing that (I was too small and not quick enough), and I wasn’t having fun like I had in high school, so I quit school just after the start of my second semester my sophomore year.
Just the same, two memories that standout from my freshman year were beating No. 12 UCLA at home (undoubtedly the greatest upset in Hawkeye history at that point) and Archie Griffin’s first Heisman season. He was basically unstoppable one Saturday afternoon at Kinnick Stadium that year, but it wasn’t as bad as the year before when he had 246 yards against Iowa at the Shoe.
This is fascinating, Steve. Kudos for sticking it out for 2 seasons. You have mentioned UWM in the past but didn’t know you went to Iowa. Center! You certainly don’t look like the centers of today. Of course, Tommy Lee Jones played OG @ Harvard and probably weighed less than 200lbs. I saw him play in 1967 @ Yale Bowl. Obviously didn’t realize it @ the time. My old man would take me to games. The Ivy League produced some ballplayers back then. Saw Calvin Hill play. He was bigger than all the lineman and was a man among boys. There’s a good HBO documentary, Harvard Beats Yale 29-29. It is about the 1968 The Game. I listened to it on radio. Harvard had an incredible comeback to tie the game. I believe it was Tommy Lee’s last game. I could see you being a center. I saw Archie Griffin play for the Bengals in Arrowhead Stadium. I was a beer vendor. Saw him pop a long run, ~60 yards. Thanks again for sharing some of your life.
My mother had moved to Milwaukee when I graduated from high school and I relocated to Milwaukee after I decided not to re-enlist in the military. I finished my undergraduate degree at UWM.
It’s amazing how back in the day small players did well in football, even playing the line. Bob Commings was about 5’9″ and weighed about 160 when he coached at Iowa, but he was a down lineman in the ’50s. We had a guy at Iowa who was about 5’6″ and maybe 170 at free safety at Iowa, Bobby Elliott (Bump Elliott’s son), who played like Ronnie Lott – like he had a spare body in his locker to change into if the one he was in wasn’t working. He’s currently the safeties’ coach at Notre Dame.
As for Calvin Hill, I never saw him play in college. I remember some clips of him. I do remember him with the Cowboys. Although the team had very good seasons before him, I think he was the missing piece for the start of the Cowboys as something more than just an off-and-on franchise. What a great athlete, and he had a brain on his shoulders. The guy from Hill Street Blues, Ed Marinaro, who played at Cornell was another.
Finally, regarding the Chiefs, I’ll always be a Raiders faithful, no matter where the Davis boy puts the team. More about that some other time.
I used to like OJ w/pulp. Damn you Turley!
Spermimosa anyone?
Why did she have a surveillance camera on her refrigerator? Someone pilfering her ice cream?
I’m wondering this as well. Why the refrigerator? She must have seen this coming.
Was there any mention of Viagra before the dirty deed. He must really hate this person.
Reading the sub-statute carefully:
(4) “Biological agent” means any microorganism, virus, infectious substance, or biological product that may be engineered through biotechnology, or any naturally occurring or bioengineered component of any microorganism, virus, infectious substance, or biological product that may be engineered through biotechnology, capable of causing death, disease, or other biological malfunction in a human, an animal, a plant, or another living organism, deterioration of food, water, equipment, supplies, or material of any kind, or deleterious alteration of the environment. . . .
I don’t think that charge will stick . . .
Just say no to brunch with Pee-Paw.