Attempt Murder By Wood Chipper: Oregon Police Make Arrest In Fargoesque Case

scott-edward-iverson-05012017

Police in Salem, Oregon are dealing with a rather bizarre case of attempted murder by wood chipper.  According to The Oregonian, Scott Edward Iverson, 26, is accused of putting a co-worker in a headlock and trying to feed him head first into their wood chipper.

 

The victim said that he had no beef with Iverson before he was almost turned into ground meat.  Fortunately, another worker pushed Iverson aside and saved the victim.  Iverson then ran but was arrested a few days later at a restaurant.

This could be a case of watching Fargo too many times but the friend of Gaear Grimsrud was very much dead at the time of the chipping . . .

37 thoughts on “Attempt Murder By Wood Chipper: Oregon Police Make Arrest In Fargoesque Case

  1. Honestly it sounds like a prank, a sick one but a prank.
    Would anyone really think they could get away with murder, in one of the most messy ways, while someone was close enough to be a witness let alone defeat your attempt?

  2. Some people’s brains are configured to enjoy grotesque brutality. They wind up in mental institutions, prison, politics, and the military, depending on the financial status of their families.

  3. I still think it’s telling that the good professor will show a video of a live beheading and now a human feeding a dead body into a wood chipper* but not a video of someone shooting their dog tied to a tree.

    * I realize it was not real, but the effect is still the same for me.

  4. You can watch Coen Brother numerous times because the writing is just so damn good. I’ve watched Fargo at least 30 times.

  5. Isn’t that “Attempted Murder?” Journalists are turning into spelling/conceptual dunces. I count several mistakes everyday. If I weren’t civilized, I would suggest the wood chipper.

    • You might notice that the first sentence says “attempted” so the headline was obviously a typo. Of course, this blog is not written by a journalist, but a professor. Are there a lot of typos in this blog? Yes. Does that mean Professor Turley is a dunce? No way! But I believe he could benefit from a good secretary or proofreader.

    • Notice that the main title is based on this web page’s URL (Uniform Resource Locator),
      A URL may contain only a certain maximum number of characters.
      Hence the perceived ‘typo’.

  6. If indeed the fellow was attempting to murder the other guy, this brings into the equation the issue of degrees of crime based on accompanying elements, such as terror in this case. The guy heading to the chipper, alive, would have been terrorized. It’s not as if you get a bullet in a split second. Does the chipper operator get an enhanced sentence for his approach? This touches upon the whole ‘hate’ element in crimes.

  7. Hmmm. I know! We need a workplace violence poem to cheer us all up!

    A Wrong Way To Chipperary???
    An Short Poem by Squeeky Fromm

    There is a certain frame of mind,
    Wherein the social ties unbind.
    Too oft it happens, as we find. . .
    When we are at our daily grind.

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

    • Best in a long list of superb poetry by our beloved Poet In Residence. “Well done,” Squeeks! (The poem, not Squeeky. Personally, I prefer medium rare.)

      Am I the only reader who ever ate a so-called “Cannibal Burger” (totally raw, uncooked) at then-Hippoburger restaurant on the W side of Van Ness in San Francisco? For decades a Gap store replaced Hippo, no idea what’s there now. Lot’s of onions, the Cannibal Burger was awesome!

      • Joseph Jones – having worked in cafes in high school, I can tell you that anyone who eats raw meat from a cafe is like play Russian Roulette with 3 bullets in the chambers. 75% of the reason for cooking it is to kill all the germs.

        • I worked on my grandparents’ farm as a kid, and never could understand why anyone would want to eat rare beef. Today, the concept of sushi is equally repellent to me.

        • There are also idiots who insist on drinking unpasteurized milk. It is legal to do so, if one can find a farmer that is willing to sell it.

          • Xeno –

            There are many farmers across the US who sell unpasteurized (i.e. ‘raw’) milk, and their numbers are growing. While it may be legal to consume that product, it is illegal to sell it in a number of states. Those laws are changing based on consumer outcry. There is a growing demand for what connoisseurs of such regard as a product having greater nutritional value. I merely note it; but, I am not one of them …

      • It’s known as “steak tartar”. It’s actually not all that bad tasting, but consumption of it is very risky, given the unsanitary manner in which cattle are transported and slaughtered!

  8. Some years ago, there was a case in Connecticut where a guy did in a female (MIL or GF, perhaps). Froze her body so it would be nice and stiff, and then chopped it up like cordwood. He rented a large chipper and used it near the Connecticut River, dumping the ground-up remains into the water. Police got suspicious, and wondered why anyone would rent a chipper that time of year. They fine-tooth-combed the riverbank, and found an intact tooth, whose root contained DNA traceable to the missing victim. (seen on “Forensic Files”)

    • That’s correct. It was his wife, with whom he was being faithful, and he wanted her “out of the picture”. The police also found it odd that an airline pilot (he was involved in an affair with a flight attendant) would need to rent a wood chipper.

      • CORRECTION: he was being “UNfaithful”.

        Ironically, this all took place not far from the site infamous school mass killing in Sandy Hook.

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