Muggle College Settles With Wizarding School

Merlin’s Beard! The College of William and Mary has been embroiled in a contract dispute with a wizarding school for years over unpaid lease fees. Unable to show either a binding magical contract or an unbreakable vow, William & Mary decided to settle for a portion of the alleged outstanding claims against Learn Larp LLC for $70,000. That’s dollars, not galleons.

The College signed an agreement with the school in 2017 for a retreat of budding wizards and witches — part of “New World Magischola . . . all-inclusive weekend wizard school vacation,” according to its website. The pitch ominously includes the ability to “crush rivals [and] scowl at frenemies.” Tickets cost roughly $700.

Given the ghosts previously spotted on the Williamsburg campus (including its own version of Moaning Myrtle in Phi Beta Kappa Memorial Hall), William & Mary was wise to try to resolve this dispute informally rather than risk the wrath of a local Red Baron or Nearly Headless Nick.

The college ultimately sued after receiving only $46,900 of the $110,396.20 billing. The College clearly was dealing with a  Slytherin trained lawyer.

Presumably, there was a provision for legal fees and costs. What was missing was something a tad more binding like a good old Goblet of Fire.

Alternatively, there is always the unbreakable vow where you would actually die if you broke it.

Absent those options, a settlement is about as good as a muggle will get.

P.S.: A comment from the College President was sought but she is reportedly coughing up slugs and experiencing other curious symptoms.

14 thoughts on “Muggle College Settles With Wizarding School”

  1. This is a really stupid article, and I am sorry that I wasted my time reading it.

  2. Seriously?! For college students?! Am I the only one who finds this Harry Potter, Dungeons and Dragons stuff just a tad immature? I mean it made some sense for my daughter’s 3rd grade summer camp to have a Quidditch team; they were 8 year olds! But college students?! When exactly are our youth expected to grow up? Shouldn’t colleges be nudging them in that direction? Don’t get me wrong, I loved the books. I loved Alice in Wonderland too, but I wouldn’t have organized a white rabbit chase in college!

    1. Debinrye – my 70 year old sister who is a paralegal in a top firm in San Diego was ecstatic to go to Universal City and buy her Harry Potter magic wand. She did not get a robe because she thought they were too expensive and she would not wear enough. Which begs the question: How often does she expect to use the magic wand?

    1. Be proud if she is competent. If she is worth her salt, she would not want you to be proud because she is female but rather because she is a wise, strong person who can effectively lead a complex organization.

  3. Caveat cauponi, William and Mary. The first clue your tenant was going to pay you in more than the warm feeling of having furthered Muggle-Wizard understanding was their event’s name:

    “New World Magischola . . . all-inclusive weekend wizard school vacation”

    You pretty much knew what their customers were getting for their $700, and expected not to be treated the same way.

  4. aka in straight up American Standard English. PC versus subjectivists and mysticism and isn’t that a wierd stand off.

    I’ll stick with objectivism, factual evidence, and moral values.

  5. Clearly they should have filed for a change of venue, via the Muggle Liaison Office of the Ministry of Magic. Furthermore, the Department of International Magical Cooperation should release a proclamation removing Learn Larp from its accredited list of venders. You can read all about it in the Daily Prophet.

    Meanwhile, Learn Larp is scheduled to receive a Dementor for Christmas.

  6. The question remains: Whether William had sex with Mary? And if so, did he wear a condum? Or, did he tie a sock around the….

  7. Muggle buggle bo bubble, banana fanna fo bubble. With words like those in the article we on the reading end feel like we are sitting next to the rear end of a farting goat.

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