Rubin’s Sandwich: Another Florida Man Charged with Assault of a Girlfriend Using a Sandwich

rubin_matthew_t220Matthew J. Rubin may have a rye sense of humor and easy with the condiments, but he has to learn a bit about throwing food. For the second time in a month, a Florida man has been charged with battery by sandwich on a girlfriend. Rubin, 20, allegedly hurled a sandwich at his 19-year-old girlfriend during an argument over renewing insurance on his car. Port Lucie seems to have had a rash of these sandwich assaults.


His girlfriend says that he also hit the top of her head with his fist in the food fight. He admits to the flying sandwich toss but not the knuckle sandwich.

Last month, again in Port Lucie, Emmanuelle Rodriguez is accused of throwing a sandwich at his girlfriend while she was driving from his mother’s house in Port St. Lucie.

Port Lucie has been a constant source of entries on this blog, here and here — leading to plans for the Turley blog to open a satellite office in the town (near a sandwich shop).

The problem with the current case is that a Rueben sandwich found at the scene could be self-incriminating.reuben

For the full story, click here.

26 thoughts on “Rubin’s Sandwich: Another Florida Man Charged with Assault of a Girlfriend Using a Sandwich

  1. Man, you are really good at getting the latest food-fightin’ news *catch-up*. The toss sounds like a bunch of baloney to me even if he *mustered* all the force he could to *sandwitch* his girl.

    However, I think Rubin is *toast*…just another poor Rubin gone a’rye from being sanwiched between his Ex-girl and the law…the proverbial ‘betwix a rock and a hard place.

  2. I think we should all be thankful that he wasn’t making a more serious meal like beef wellington or heaven forbid, duck confit. I still have nightmares from the time I saw a man attacked with a piece of Chicken Kiev.

  3. And you said you guys don’t do humor LEO. Pretty funny stuff.

    Of course, I heard that as far as sandwich attacks go, this one was not the Wurst.

  4. It looks like Florida is trying to see if a grand jury really will indict a ham sandwich.

    I’m sure we’ll soon be reading about a waiter at a deli getting tazed by a cop: “He was coming at me with a Club,” will be the officer’s defense.

  5. Good point Jack.

    Let’s just say that anyone choosing to fling sandwiches at another might easily find themselves in a pickle.

  6. Patty C,

    Please do get a WP account. We do not have one thumbnail photo of an attractive, intelligent woman to brighten the place up, just mostly a bunch of blank-white outlined portraits…

    Bro’ et al.

    mespo started the play on words, typical of a trial lawyer…

  7. Hey Jill,

    You have heard of “the perfect face made just for radio” haven’t you….not all former LEOs are Clint Eastwood-esque…..

  8. Ha, Gyges!

    Jill, young lady, I do not see your pretty face gracing these blawg pages.

    I searched for the deputy dog avatar (cartoon character) and found it, but I would probably be violating some copyright law or something if I posted it as my thumbnail picture.

    Any attorneys here know about avatar fair use/copyright law? Please do not reply unless your advice is pro bono. I am retired, doncha know.

    Oh, and deputy dog is better lookin’ than I am.

  9. Is the Hamburgler being charged along with this food-fighter? As to the claim of the fist to the head, I am sure he was just giving her a good natured “noogie”!

  10. Did anyone catch Prez-elect Obama’s advice to the kids today about walking dogs?

    “If there’s poop, you have to clean it up.”

    So much for the eloquent speeches. And boy, the metaphor could not be more relevant than what he is facing as the incoming President.

    Yes, Mr. President-Elect … there is poop, and plenty of it.

    I’m particularly looking forward to the Inaugural Address:

    “The state of the economy is … ca-ca doody …”

  11. Gyges,

    Strangelove is a classic.

    Still, one of my all time fav scenes involves the line “Okay, but you’ll have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.”

  12. This is outrageous, I mean how hurt could you really be from a sandwich? It’s obvious this girl just has it out for him. And the second poster is right, things would have gotten quite messy if lunch-time was beef wellington instead of sandwich.

  13. Battery by sandwich, that’s classic. I would not to want to explain that one on the criminal charges section of an employment application. I hope the defendant’s future employers have a sense of humor.

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