If I Had a Hammer, I’d . . . : Romanian Man Comes Up With Home Remedy for Constipation

hammermain_851113aThis is a case where there is no one to sue, let alone to blame, beyond yourself. Viorel Firoiu was having constipation problems after eating cherries and decided to try work things out with the use of two hammers that had to be removed by doctors. This may come as something of a surprise, but he had been drinking. It brings a new meaning to being hammered.

The hospital was a bit surprised when they gave him an x-ray for stomach pain only to see the above hammer heads in his body.

Yes, in case you were wondering, he used the second hammer to try to dislodge the first hammer. Fortunately, there was no local hardware store available so that was not a further proliferation of lower-bowel tools.

These doctors are not unique in finding surprise objects in rectal surgeries, though at least they did not film the event here.

For the story, click here.

11 Responses to “If I Had a Hammer, I’d . . . : Romanian Man Comes Up With Home Remedy for Constipation”


  1. 1 Dredd 1, July 23, 2009 at 8:31 am

    The Romulans are always doing crazy stuff like this, that is why I do not hang with the solids, I prefer to hang with the shape shifters.

  2. 2 Anonymously Yours 1, July 23, 2009 at 8:43 am

    Lead Poisoning? Humm.. . .

  3. 3 eniobob 1, July 23, 2009 at 8:58 am

    Where he made his mistake was,not spraying one half can of “White Lithium Grease”down his throat before swallowing the first hammer.

    It works for me everytime I get constipated.:)

  4. 4 Jim Byrne 1, July 23, 2009 at 8:59 am

    “He said he had a few drinks to dull the pain and then came up with the idea of poking a hammerhead up his backside in the hope of sorting out the constipation.

    “But the hammerhead got stuck and then he came up with the idea of using a second hammerhead in order to try and get out the first – but then he lost the second one as well.”

    He should have stopped when he poked the flashlight in and didn’t see anything.

  5. 5 Anonymously Yours 1, July 23, 2009 at 9:15 am

    Jim Byrne 1, July 23, 2009 at 8:59 am

    “He said he had a few drinks to dull the pain and then came up with the idea of poking a hammerhead up his backside in the hope of sorting out the constipation.

    ******************

    DO YOU THINK He got Nailed the night before?

  6. 6 Jim Byrne 1, July 23, 2009 at 9:24 am

    New commercial-

    KY -for when you really feel like getting hammered.

  7. 7 pardon me? 1, July 23, 2009 at 9:47 am

    wrong tool. he suffered loose screws.

  8. 8 Jill 1, July 23, 2009 at 10:20 am

    Good one pardon me! Too bad he wasn’t humming, “If I had a hammer..” when he done it but maybe the doctors were during removal!

  9. 9 pardon me? 1, July 23, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    Right, Jill! :)
    Or maybe Stephen Foster’s “Hard Times Come Again No More”:
    (chorus)
    ‘Tis the song, the sigh of the weary
    Hard times, hard times come again no more
    Many days you have lingered
    Around my cabin door
    Oh hard times come again no more

  10. 10 seamus 1, July 23, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Yeah, that’s how they got up there. Suuuurrrrreeeeee……

  11. 11 Buddha Is Laughing 1, July 24, 2009 at 1:23 am

    At least he didn’t try to use a power tool. So he’s got that going for him. Which is nice. Perhaps on his death bed he’ll receive total consciousness too.

    (If you need help with that joke, see Caddyshack.)


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