Besides taking one of the most memorable mug shots, Kay Fotheringham, 52, is notable as the latest victim of the cat conspiracy. We have already seen how a cat framed a man by downloading porn on his computer (here). Now, a feline felon caused Fotheringham to wound a driver’s ed instructor and student in a perfect set-up of a biped.
The crafty kitty used one of its famed nine lives to get the property to itself.
The Utah man was drinking when the cat walked in front of him. Fotheringham grabbed a sawed-off shotgun and fired – missing the cat entirely and hitting the two victims with birdshot at the Alpine School Maintenance Shop behind his property.
He is now facing charges of discharging a firearm in a city, intoxication and disorderly conduct and knowingly possessing a sawed-off shotgun.
It is not clear how long it will take for America to wake up to the feline menace. With our jails filling up with citizens nabbed in cat-related crimes, the just of us will be reduced to minions of the cat-set: reduced to terrified kitty servants changing litter boxes, rolling yarn balls, and opening tuna cans. Mind me, America: Your cat overlords are coming.
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A sawed off shotgun seems a bit excessive. What kind of stray cats does this character have in his neighborhood? Mountain lions? On the other hand, with that sawed off experience and natty pirate look Mr. Fotheringham surely has a career off the coast of Africa upon his release after being framed by a such a clever creature instead of being eaten. What seems like a drunken bad decision may be a career changing experience for the old boy and some fun for that rascally feline. Eating a victim is what most cats of any size would consider as their number one option with a good frame job coming in a close second. If they can’t do that, they’ll often try to run the Spanish Prisoner scam on you so be alert. They want your canned tuna and they are everywhere.
The Pirate and the Cat-O’-Nine-Tails (Tales).
And that whip is no pussy willow branch with its furry catkins…
Well heck, just change the President to Palin or move the feline quagmire to Alaska and it will be legal to shoot out of a helicopter. So whats the harm, Dick can shoot quail or people thank goodness Dan was not there and get away with it, why can’t this person?
Question, is this the same guy that was tased on fire just with an eye patch?
Lazy eye, Sauza Tequila, sawed off shotgun and he’s annoyed by a puddy tat…
The feline revolt must be stopped, especially when notable citizens like Fotheringham The Pirate are interrupted in their daily lives by the furry infusion.
I thought it was going to be monkey overlords. I have been diligently laying in a supply of bananas in order to curry favor with my eventual masters, and now I see it should have been tuna. When they fight it out for worldwide hegemony, who will be safe? Terrifying prospect.
I get this. Sometimes you are just having a really really bad day and the the cats come for you leaving you no choice but to defend yourself.
clearly this cat had it coming, probably had been planning something for weeks and months all the while practicing its innocent as all giddyup look.
EVIL! Evil I tells ya’. The relentless tauting by these creatures drove that poor man to shoot his neighbors and probably ran into his house booted up the computer, pulled up some kitty porn and ordered a stuff crust pizza (with anchovies of course) leaving this “victim” holding the bag. Evil, plain and simple. And we think dolphins are smart.
Given the choice between neutering the cat or Mr. Fotheringham in order to protect their respective gene pool I opt to let the cat off the hook.
I recently inhereted 2 more cats. Like my own 2 they like catnip and bacon. Yes, they get ‘drunk’ and eat porkmeat whenever possible and as yet none of the 4 of them have pulled a gun on anyone crossing their path. They just want their ears scratched and a nap with their drug and food of choice. Perhaps the kitty overlords will have some kind of behaviour modification program to deal with the Kay Fotheringham’s of the world. One can hope
Lotta K
Good to see you again. That was a good post.