You may want to be a bit more careful in borrowing a friend’s cellphone in the future. Mobile phones will soon be equipped with small devices to allow you to urinate or spit on their phones to diagnose sexually transmitted diseases. The devices are being developed in England for both cellphones and computers. Given my recent difficulties with Apple over my alleged submersion of my IPhone, I am a bit leery in picking up the new P-App.
The UK Clinical Research Collaboration is funding the effort in the hopes of reducing STDs, which are on the rise in England. Two-thirds of women reporting a new sexually transmitted inflection were under 25, as were more than half of men.
Dr Tariq Sadiq, a senior lecturer and consultant physician in sexual health and HIV at St George’s, University of London, wants your cell phone to be able to alert you to infections ranging from chlamydia to gonorrhea.
This will bring a new meaning to “call me” signals across bars and parties. You have to watch those roaming charges however.
Source: Guardian
as often as I have said “piss on cell phones” maybe someone ws listening to me 8-{D
frank,
lol
Once the phone let’s you know that you have an STD, does it broadcast that data to others? If you are suspicious that someone may have a STD, then they have to spit on your phone? There are some flows on this concept that may need to re-examined.
frank, another lol…
AA wrote: “There are some flows (sic) on this concept that may need to re-examined.” …and alluded to the obvious privacy issues.
So all the information will flow into some central repository? The GP won’t necessarily know, but how many others will? Like sexual offender registries, all of the data could be put online.. Just think of the possibilities.
Sounds like an idea that might help Big Brother to find out who’s been socializing with bad company and facilitate his keeping tabs on who’s got STD’s. Wouldn’t it be better to develop a product like a pregnancy test kit to diagnose an STD? Pissing and spitting on cell phones and computers? Good grief! How unsanitary. The thought of it grosses me out.
Wait…maybe I can make some money on this. I’m going to put on my thinking cap and get to work on my new invention–a computer peeboard.
Correct spelling is “chlamydia.”
Kate,
You can leave corrections on Professor Turley’s “corrections page.”
Elaine M. wrote: “Wait…maybe I can make some money on this. I’m going to put on my thinking cap and get to work on my new invention–a computer peeboard.”
This must be some new gimmick intended to reduce the number of sexual partners one might have.
I do see a new saying in the works.
–She’s so hot I’d let her pee on my iPhone.–
Elaine,
I’ll invest as long as the Marketing Plan includes targeting Priestly Porn Purchasers.
Pretty soon your phone will be mandated to have a patch of its ‘skin’ that is responsive to various chemical signatures which will be analyzed and routed to he appropriate government agency and paid advertisers. It detects coffee on your breath, finds the closest coffee bars in your neighborhood and sends you on-line coupons.
It senses certain antibodies in your sweat and sends you and the local state health department a notice of a potential STD, downloads your call log and email messages for suspected partners, sends you and your physician a note that you need a check up and notifies your friends on the social messaging sites you use and sends them suggestions for gifts for a sick friend.
It’s coming.
When I see the fine work that goes on here developing new products at Turley Labs, I am forced to take those to task who would disparage America’s declining manufacturing prowess and wallow in a sty of stagnant ideas for here in the examples of the work of Turley Labs researchers – in products such as the peeboard – here is the beacon of industry and innovation that will lead this country through tomorrow and beyond!
and then there’s the new colonoscopy app. i’ve suggested this one to several area drivers. first stick the cellphone up…
As goofy as this world’s people are becoming, my being in the autumn of life aint so depressing after all…
FF Leo,
I’ll say “Amen” to that!
Why would anyone want to pee on their phone? Can’t this service be provided by a device that I don’t hold up to my ear and mouth??
FF Leo and Elaine M.
I’m glad I’m on the downward slide, as well.
anon nurse and FF Leo and Elaine,
There is nothing wrong with being on the “downward” side!
rafflaw,
You’re right. I love my life. Retirement rocks! I can do whatever I want–whenever I want.
Elaine,
I wish I could retire, but I am probably a few years away yet. Of course, unless the right lottery ticket comes into play!!
Buddha Is Laughing
1, November 9, 2010 at 8:05 pm
When I see the fine work that goes on here developing new products at Turley Labs, I am forced to take those to task who would disparage America’s declining manufacturing prowess and wallow in a sty of stagnant ideas for here in the examples of the work of Turley Labs researchers – in products such as the peeboard – here is the beacon of industry and innovation that will lead this country through tomorrow and beyond!
==========================================================
lol
Or we could all just be pissing in the wind …
Buddha & Blouise,
Can I tempt you to invest in my peeboard? The least you could do is to help out with research and development.
rafflaw,
You wrote: There is nothing wrong with being on the “downward” side.
Re: side vs slide
…”downward slide”, because the pace (of decline — of almost everything) seems to accelerate once one reaches a certain point, IMO.
But as you and Elaine note, it’s not all bad…