In East St. Louis, Illinois, Brett Nash, 45, is accused of conspiracy to murder and then frame someone else for the crime. Not unheard of to be sure in the annals of crime, but the murder was going to be pinned on a cat.
The FBI arrested Nash with the help of a paroled killer who came forward with a bizarre tale of how Nash wanted to abduct, extort and electrocute a wealthy lawyer who was interested in Nash’s wife.
According to the criminal complaint, one plot involved kidnapping the lawyer, getting him to withdraw a large amount of cash from the bank, and then electricuting him in a jacuzzi with a radio. He was going to then spread kitty litter around the crime scene to implicate the cat.
Police say that Nash was arrested outside of a Kmart in Granite City shortly before the crime was to take place. Nash reportedly told the snitch that he had only $300 in the bank and needed about $37,000 to avert foreclosure. However, he also allegedly said that he previously used his wife, a former exotic dancer, to lure wealth men to hotel rooms and then photograph them for the purposes of blackmail. The wife has not been charged and the cat is believed to be innocent.
Nash is now charged with attempted extortion, by use of threats of violence, under the Hobbs Act. He is facing 20 years in prison and a life being pursued by the cat people.
Below is the agent who uncovered the plot but he has had problems printing out the criminal complaint:
Source: CBS
And based on my experience, the cat would have exercised its right to remain silent.
If the cat people prevail he will be sentenced to 9 lives in prison.
Me?
Ow.
ʃ
*
ǁ
(the international symbol for “cat butt”)
Unlike our feline mastermind who has an alibi – LOTTAKATZ!!!!!
The cat would have spoken up.
Things like this will continue until dogma is replaced with catma.
Kmart is a bad …bad place….to be…
Yes Mr. JShamus, we were at the office, doing important things (hat tip to Gene) when the crime was to take place:
http://theoatmeal.com/pl/bobcats_monday/copy_machine
Then we went to the spa. Totally alibied up, yes indeed-y
i have a dream
that one day,about a year from now, when pastor rick bartlett of bastrop tx is sitting his fat ass in a jacuzzi, thinking how unfair it is that his life went to shit after getting caught taking care of one little girl’s cat and listening to one of his own sermons on tape. he looks up, hearing a small noise, and sees the grey cat pictured at the beginning of this post, on the other side of the cassette player.
i’ll leave the rest to the imagination.