Bizarre, Politics, Society

Don’t Be A Dummy Be A Smarty, Come and Join The Nazi Lobby: Meet Washington’s Newest Lobbiest John Bowles

Even in a city full of lobbyists, John Bowles is a stand out. He is the new lobbyist for the American Nazi Party. With lobbyists from General Electric and Exxon, Bowles will work the offices on behalf of skinheads and antisemites. I can’t wait to see the gift baskets.


Bowles registered with the Clerk of the House. He was the National Socialist Movement’s presidential nominee in 2008. He noted that “[o]f course I won’t approach anybody in Congress unless it’s a very interesting issue or law. I’m going to be very careful about the issues I choose for this.” However, once he sees something interesting, he is ready to Blitzkrieg the halls of Congress.

Below is Bowles making his first appearance in Congress:

CHORUS:
Germany was having trouble
What a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader to restore
Its former glory
Where, oh, where was he?
Where could that man be?
We looked around and then we found
The man for you and me
LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
And now it’s…
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Deutschland is happy and gay!
We’re marching to a faster pace
Look out, here comes the master race!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Rhineland’s a fine land once more!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Watch out, Europe
We’re going on tour!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany…
CHORUS:
Look, it’s springtime
LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
Winter for Poland and France
CHORUS AND STORMTROOPER:
Springtime for Hitler and Germany!
CHORUS:
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
STORMTROOPER:
Come on, Germans
Go into your dance!
STORMTROOPER “ROLF”:
I was born in Dusseldorf und that is why they call me Rolf.
STORMTROOPER “MEL”:
Don’t be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi party!
ULLA:
The Fuhrer is coming, the Fuhrer is coming, the Fuhrer is coming!
STORMTROOPER #1:
Heil Hitler!
STORMTROOPER #2:
Heil Hitler!
LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
Heil Hitler!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
ALL:
Heil Hitler!
ROGER:
Heil myself
Heil to me
I’m the kraut
Who’s out to change our history
Heil myself
Raise your hand
There’s no greater
Dictator in the land!
Everything I do, I do for you!
CHORUS:
Yes, you do!
ROGER:
If you’re looking for a war, here’s World War Two!
Heil myself
Raise your beer
CHORUS:
Jawohl!
ROGER:
Ev’ry hotsy-totsy Nazi stand and cheer
CHORUS:
Hooray!
Ev’ry hotsy-totsy Nazi…
ROGER:
Heil myself!
CHORUS:
Ev’ry hotsy-totsy Nazi…
ROGER:
Heil myself!
CHORUS:
Ev’ry hotsy-totsy Nazi…
ROGER:
…stand and cheer!
THE HEIL-LOs:
The Fuhrer is causing a furor!
He’s got those Russians on the run
You gotta love that wacky hun!
The Fuhrer is causing a furor
They can’t say “no” to his demands
They’re freaking out in foreign lands
He’s got the whole world in his hands
The Fuhrer is causing a furor!
ROGER:
I was just a paper hanger
No one more obscurer
Got a phone call from the Reichstag
Told me I was Fuhrer
Germany was blue
What, oh, what to do?
Hitched up my pants
And conquered France
Now Deutschland’s smiling through!
But it wasn’t always so easy…
It was 1932. Hindenburg was working the Big Room and I…
I was playing the lounge. And then I got my big break.
Somebody burned down the Reichstag. And, would you believe it?
They made me Chancellor. Chancellor!
It ain’t no myst’ry
If it’s politics or hist’ry
The thing you gotta know is
Ev’rything is show biz
Heil myself
Watch my show
I’m the German Ethel Merman
Dontcha know
We are crossing borders
The new world order is here
Make a great big smile
Ev’ryone sieg heil to me
Wonderful me!
And now it’s…
CHORUS:
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Goose-step’s the new step today

ROGER:
Springtime!
Goose-steps!
CHORUS MEN:
Bombs falling from the skies again
CHORUS:
Deutschland is on the rise again
ROGER & CHORUS:
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
U-boats are sailing once more
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
ROGER:
Means that…
CHORUS:
Soon we’ll be going…
ROGER:
We’ve got to be going…
CHORUS:
You know we’ll be going….
ROGER:
You bet we’ll be going…
ROGER & CHORUS:
You know we’ll be going to war!!

Source: US News

18 thoughts on “Don’t Be A Dummy Be A Smarty, Come and Join The Nazi Lobby: Meet Washington’s Newest Lobbiest John Bowles”

  1. Pingback: Geheime Kanzlerakte – Grundgesetz für den Kanzler der Bundesrepublik Deutschland « Der Blogwart. Die Wahrheit. Das Deutsche Weltreich
  2. Pingback: Meet John Bowles, Washington’s (Least?) Hardest Working Lobbyist | The Daily Dolt

  5. ImportantTopics: touched you some important ones. By way of analogy or reference, the Reichstag Fire Decrees issued by President von Hindenberg in 1933 unleashed the forces which Hitler attached himself to and got elected. That Decree is so similar to the events of 9/11 and the subsequent Patriot Act that it makes dogs wonder if Cheney and the boys rigged the 9/11 attachks so that they could usher in their own Springtime.

  6. As told to me by one of the participants, a recognized name in the games industry:

    A group of four were on their way to the national games convention, Origins, then held in Baltimore, when one started whistling the “Colonel Bogey March” made famous by “The Bridge Over the River Kwai”. One of the other mentioned there were words to the music, which is why it was whistled so they would know they were denigrating the Germans while the Japanese would be completely unaware. (Also because the words were “too filthy” for actual use in the movie.)

    The words (as he said, there are many variants) were:

    “Hitler had only one big ball,
    Goering had two but they were small.
    Himmler had something similar
    And Goebbels had no balls at all.”

    And there the lesson would have ended except they missed their turnoff and got lost in Baltimore. They pulled over and tried to figure out where they needed to go when one realized just where they were.

    They had pulled over and parked directly in front of the headquarters of the US Nazi Party.

    The coincidence was too great to ignore. They rolled down the windows and sang the words two or three times until a window opened and someone looked out. At that point, they considered it was best to leave. And when they finally arrived at the convention, they walked in whistling the tune.

  7. “With the crony-corporate crypto-fascists — i.e., the Republican Party — in charge of the House of Representatives, Mr Bowles should find himself in congenial company. Substitute Muslims for Jews and Gypsies and things look very promising for fascists of all kinds in America.” Isn’t that the truth! Does John Bowles represent the Tea Party as well?

  8. This new lobbyist may not have much trouble in getting at least some of what he wants. The Nazi party was always interested in searches and siezures conducted by law enforcement officers issuing warrants to themselves, which they’ve already achieved under the Patriot Act. They were also interested in secret imprisonment and execution sans charges or trial, which they’ve achieved under the National Defense Authorization Act. Strip searches of anyone the they decide to arrest, guilty or not, they also enjoy. The Supreme Court gave them that just recently.

  10. I can see it now. A young girl on a tour of the the hill approaches Mr. Bowles who is admiring various paintings of founding fathers

    Girl: “All these paintings of are great, like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln….”

    Bowles: “…George Lincoln Rockwell…”

  11. “Adolph Hitler is probably the last of the great advernturer-conquerors in the tradition of Alexander, Caesar and Napoleon, and the Third Reich the last of the empires which set out on the path taken earlier by France, Rome and Macedonia. The curtain was rung down on that phase of history, at least, by the sudden invention of the hydrogen bomb, of the ballistic missile and of rockets that can be aimed to hit the moon.

    “In our new age of terrifying, lethal gadgets, which supplanted so swiftly the old one, the first great aggressive war, if it should come, will be launched by suicidal little madmen pressing an electronic button. Such a war will not last long and none will ever follow it. There will be no conquerors and no conquests, but only the charred bones of the dead on an uninhabited planet.” — William L. Shirer, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich

    To laugh at Fascism, even as it insidiously devours you, does not seem wise to me.

  13. Mr Bowles ran for president in 2008, and interestingly he refers to Ron Paul when discussing the campaign..” And I’ll tell you what, that was a tactic, too. I did that as a sincere effort to show the rest of the National Socialists and white racialists that this is something we can do, and we should have been doing this a long time ago, and it can.”

    I campaigned in uniform, and let me tell you, they were honking and shaking my hand up in South Dakota. I went down to Texas and the border, and they liked me there, too. Ron Paul took a lot of my gusto, though, and then I ran into a problem because the National Socialist Movement—that’s the party I belonged to before the ANP—gave me the boot. I might be the first presidential candidate booted out of his party in the middle of an election…” from the gawker.

  14. “[At the end of WWII], the Fascist powers were destroyed….

    “But what about fascism – as idea, as reality? Were its essential elements – militarism, racism, imperialism – now gone? Or were they absorbed into the already poisoned bones of the victors?” — Howard Zinn, A People’s History of the United States

    The blowback, though, comes ’round in time;
    No one has yet escaped.
    Vietnamized; Iraqified;
    Corrupted by the raped,
    The victors thus are vanquished by
    The monkeys that they aped.”

    (From “Boobie Counter Insurgency,” an episode of Fernando Po, U.S.A., America’s post-literate retreat to Plato’s Cave)

    As a non-Muslim, Mr Bowles may lobby for any brand of fascism that he likes. He can say anything he wants and can aid and abet any terrorist state or organization that targets Muslims, even Muslim terrorist organizations that target other Muslims — like the M.E.K. Iranian terrorists for whom so many American big-shots shill openly and for a fee. As long as he lobbies for the brand of fascism acceptable to the Corporate State of America at the moment, he should do quite well.

  15. “Eternal Fascism: Fourteen Ways of Looking at a Blackshirt”

    By Umberto Eco

    “In spite of some fuzziness regarding the difference between various historical forms of fascism, I think it is possible to outline a list of features that are typical of what I would like to call Ur-Fascism, or Eternal Fascism. These features cannot be organized into a system; many of them contradict each other, and are also typical of other kinds of despotism or fanaticism. But it is enough that one of them be present to allow fascism to coagulate around it.

    1. The first feature of Ur-Fascism is the cult of tradition.
    2. Traditionalism implies the rejection of modernism.
    3. Irrationalism also depends on the cult of action for action’s sake.
    4. The critical spirit makes distinctions, and to distinguish is a sign of modernism.
    5. Besides, disagreement is a sign of diversity.
    6. Ur-Fascism derives from individual or social frustration.
    7. To people who feel deprived of a clear social identity, Ur-Fascism says that their only privilege is the most common one, to be born in the same country.
    8. The followers must feel humiliated by the ostentatious wealth and force of their enemies.
    9. For Ur-Fascism there is no struggle for life but, rather, life is lived for struggle.
    10. Elitism is a typical aspect of any reactionary ideology, insofar as it is fundamentally aristocratic, and aristocratic and militaristic elitism cruelly implies contempt for the weak.
    11. In such a perspective everybody is educated to become a hero.
    12. Since both permanent war and heroism are difficult games to play, the Ur-Fascist transfers his will to power to sexual matters.
    13. Ur-Fascism is based upon a selective populism, a qualitative populism, one might say.
    14. Ur-Fascism speaks Newspeak.”

    With the crony-corporate crypto-fascists — i.e., the Republican Party — in charge of the House of Representatives, Mr Bowles should find himself in congenial company. Substitute Muslims for Jews and Gypsies and things look very promising for fascists of all kinds in America.

  16. Raff, they will meet behind closed doors, especially if that gift basket is full of portraits of U.S.Grant.

    Money talks all up and down the Mall.

  17. Weird story, but a great movie! What legislator in their right mind would take a meeting with the rep from the Nazi party? On second thought…

  18. That’s the beauty of America….. Even if you disagree with them…. They still have a right to express views I do not agree with….. Now, would they afford others the same right….. Probably not…. But it’s just something we do….. That’s why we are American…. Land of the apparent free…..

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