Democratic Party Officials Arrested in Satanic Ritual Case

This one could only have been written by Karl Rove. In North Carolina, police have arrested two democratic officials for their involvement in Satanic rituals involving shackling people to beds, caging people, and deyning people food and water. Joy Johnson, 30, a third vice-chairwoman of the Durham County Democratic Party and vice chairwoman of the Young Democrats, was charged Friday with two counts of aiding and abetting. Her husband, Joseph Scott Craig, 25, was charged with second-degree rape, second-degree kidnapping and two counts of assault with a deadly weapon.

Among the allegations are charges that Craig beat a man with a cane and a cable cord and assaulted a woman with a wooden cane and raped her.
Notably, Johnson stressed efforts to recruit young people to the party. Both of them are partners with Diana Palmer, first vice chairwoman for the local Democrats, in a company called Indigo Dawn, which advertises services “to promote enlightenment and assist in the development and self-empowerment and divine potential.” These services include “intuitive guidance, past-life regression, spirit guide communication and healing and cleansing.”

On July 2, Palmer was arrested and charged.

“Past-life regression” sounds like what the Democrats are accusing McCain of in his campaign.

In anticipation of the frenzy at Fox, I wanted to suggest some headlines:


2. Who is behind the Obama surge, could it be . . . . Satan?

3. Does the “D” in DNC Stands for “Demonic”?

4. Is Obama Tough of Terror But Soft on Satan?

For the full story, click here.

35 thoughts on “Democratic Party Officials Arrested in Satanic Ritual Case”

  1. Psalm 9:17-
    The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.

  2. Off to a very promising start Mespo. You need to preach against the ornisexuals while exhibiting a wide pulpit stance. After several suspect meetings in the church birdbath, rumors will start to fly. They will turn out to be true. Do not despair. Giant pink wings will appear in the sky (really just projections made by equipment you stole from the sanctuary) and congregants will flock to you as their leader once more.

    Love the Crystal Avairy!

  3. Jill:

    Do you thing I can get a mega-Church called the Crystal Aviary–maybe on the Embarcadero? I can extend the word “Pennngueeen” with the best of ’em. A few “love offerings” and I ‘m on my way. I could get a bouffant hair cut, have my kids help out with the service, and my wife could learn to cry on cue. Maybe I could heal some folks by spreading my wings around them? We could talk in “beaks” instead of “tongues.” I think it really has possibilities? Now if I could just learn to fly and find some talking snakes.

  4. Mespo,

    I really like the Church of Ornithology. You shouldn’t be giving out the secrets of the Pink Flamingo without charging though. You need to create sacred “teachings” which are learned in ever more expensive “knowledge knots”. Either that or start the 800 club and give people the knowledge in exchange for their cancer money. If you’re not collecting a lot of money it’s not a church. At least you’re starting out on the right foot with being willing to kill for your god. A church is all about killin and money. And don’t just let rafflaw waltz in without charging him for being there. He has to earn his place. I think I caught him worshipping a golden arrdvark yesterday-sinner!

    To everyone,

    Have you seen the film, An American Movie? It’s a chronical of the making of a film called, Coven. It is hysterical and very kind hearted.

  5. martha:

    “mespo choses to use his free will to cast disdain on his creator. ”


    No,no martha not casting disdain on the creator but on the scared, furry, little creatures hiding in the shadows reading their magic book, awaiting Armageddon, and decrying the rest of the World who cannot share their self-delusion. Here’s a little test, answer my questions above to dundar and I will accept your faith. No one has ever answered them in the history of the earth, so I am sure you can easily handle it with your divine will and all. Or are all you good for is fire and brimstone with no light.

  6. rcampbell:

    I just keep humming “if you’re phone don’t ring, it’s me.” I never heard it before, but I do love it so.

  7. …and martha (formerly martha h, I am sure) uses her free will be an obsequious kill-joy, jealous over her lack of pointy hat and crooked staff cane, and devoid of shootin’ iron for which she may defend to the death her pink flamingo yard ornament. Hey I may have to defend that pink flamingo as a religious icon of the Church of Ornithology. martha saddle up you’ve been deputized in a religious crusade to defend the Great Pink Flamingo. Onward Ornithological soldiers! Ah, you don’t live in Texas, do you?

    And rafflaw, like Henry IV you need only crawl to my mountain top villa on your hands and knees in the snow begging absolution and you shall be…not Co-Pope, but Co-Penguin.

  8. Martha,
    Make up your mind. First, you tell Mespo that God gave us the gift of free will and then you call him foolish for using his gift of free will. You can’t have it both ways.

  9. mespo & a couple of others here are devoid of any intelligent thought.

    God gave us his gift of free will and that free will allows us to worship him…..or not.

    mespo choses to use his free will to cast disdain on his creator. that is his free will at work.

    foolish little people here. such foolish little people.

  10. Hello rafflaw,

    On the first question I will have to remain agnostic as I’m not a believer. Co-Popery? Now that’s a quandry! I don’t think two Popes may co-exist within one universe, but no one said they couldn’t in a multiverse-type scenario. In the Renaissance, the would be Pope wouldn’t bother being a Co-Pope. They’d just poison the current Pope and be done with it. So that’s always an option.



  11. Jill,
    I have to admit that I get a little scared when people start quoting the Bible. I have two questions for you. First, Since George W. Bush authorised torture of fellow human beings, will he burn in hell for that Mortal sin? Secondly, if I get a hat and staff like Mespo’s, can I be a Co-Pope?

  12. “God permitted slavery…”

    And just who the hell is this god to make such a declaration?

    “Nevertheless, God allowed it to exist the way He allows other things to exist…”

    What utter nonsense. The non-existence of your phantom god is what permits these things, either that or divine irresponsibility. Take your pick as those are the only two choices. This line of illogic
    reminds me of a country music song title I once heard of, “If you’re phone don’t ring, it’s me”

  13. Mespo,

    O.K. here’s the deal. Get ye to San Francisco. There ye will find what ye seek; both the infidel and the illegal liveth there. Bring forth thy shootin iron from beneath thy loin skin. Lo, neither the infidel nor the illegal is human. Ye shall have the property of the Lord for thy labor. Now get crackin’!


    P.S. in the meantime the funny hat and stick are great at parties!

  14. Jill:

    Sorry, it’s just that I got this great pointy hat and crooked stick cane and all. I’ll just warm up the old shootin’ iron and head back to land of the infidels to “saint meself up” some more heretics. I have to avoid Texas, ’cause the hunting for heretics is bad. What if I just banish the snakes from Texas. I do believe if I just limit myself to the two legged variety I could drop the population by half!

  15. Mespo,

    You most cetainly cannot become a saint. Do you think you are the Pope? Only the Pope’s on the fast track. After you perform three shotins, preferably in Texas, then you may be considered a saint. Don’t be so dense about religion!


Comments are closed.