Dark Knight: Batman Actor Christian Bale Accused of Assault by Mother and Sister

Police allowed Christian Bale and his wife Sibi to attend the European premiere of The Dark Knight despite pending criminal allegations by his mother and sister that he committed assault at the Dorchester Hotel. His mother, Jenny, 61, and his sister, 40, signed out complaints against him, according to media reports.

The alleged assault occurred on Sunday. Scotland Yard only stated that “We can confirm that we have received an allegation from another force in relation to an incident in central London.”

It appears that the utility belt has a speed dial for criminal defense counsel.

When confronted by police, there are a great number of Batman lines that would work for Bale.

The best is probably the line during one of his Bat-climbs: “I wish we could help you, citizen, but we’re just a couple of ordinary crimefighters going about our mundane business.”

With regard to his family accusers, there is also “It never would have worked if it hadn’t been for the two skeletons in your closet.”

There is always “Nothing has ever cut me so deeply to the quick. No blow ever struck by any archvillain has ever hurt me so acutely [as that little boy’s ‘boo’.]”

He could also assume the identity of Bruce Wayne and insist: “The good works of my Wayne Foundation require that I stay above the brawl of politics.”

What he should not use is: “No, I’d rather pay just like every other ordinary citizen.”

I would also not recommend: “In the interests of law, order, justice, good fellowship, and the flag, you must convict them to keep our streets safe from evil persons. Thank you.”

For the full story, click here and here.

5 thoughts on “Dark Knight: Batman Actor Christian Bale Accused of Assault by Mother and Sister”

  1. i only came across this page while serching who “sibi bale” is as I noticed the name in the credits while re-watching the machinist.

  2. honestly I can’t believe you would joke about such a thing.

    i’d like to say i cant see it happening as he is such a great actor, but none of us know him personally.

    …frankly, its none of our buisiness..time to get a life of your own.

  3. Pingback: sibi bale

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