Katherine Kelly is a one-woman crime wave with 73 arrests in her 76 years (those first three years appear to have been spent as a criminal apprentice). Her latest arrest was for stealing a police decoy wallet in a supermarket and stuffing it in her bra. In addition to 73 arrests, she has 36 alias.

The criminal complaint charges Kelly with grand larceny and attempted grand larceny after she allegedly took a decoy wallet left in a shopping cart in a supermarket. It did not address which officer get the thankless job of recovering the wallet from Kelly’s “bra area.”

Kelly’s rap sheet goes back to Dec. 21, 1971. She has appeared on rap sheets as Robin Shapiro, Antoinette Lombardi, Mildred Friedman, Sylvia McGuire, Victoria Velloti and Charlotte Petrovas. (I personally like the more exotic Antoinette Lombardi). She also given police 26 birth dates.

In the course of her “career,” she has racked up 16 convictions — most felonies pleaded down to misdemeanors. Even as a criminal defense attorney, I would have to admit that Katherine-Robin-Antoinette-Mildred-Sylvia-Victoria-Charlotte is a habitual offender.

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