Driving Miss Daisy: California Doctor Leaves Country After Using Patient’s Fat as Fuel for His Cars

300px-oil_wellCalifornia investigators are interested in speaking with Dr. Craig Alan Bittner. Bittner has an interesting way of “saving the planet”: he used that fat that he removed from his patients in liposuction to fuel his two SUVs. His M.I.P. (Miles to the Patient) was great until officials notified his lawyer that it happens to be a crime.

It appears that Bittner felt better about the two gas-guzzling SUVs if they were fat-guzzlers running on the body products of his patients. Presumably, he would rush some appointments before long trips. The patients might have noticed such comments as “you look like a cross country trip” or little nicknames like “my little OPEC.” Ok, I made up that last part. However, I would note that oil wells like the one above are known as “pumpjacks” so it may have given Bittner an idea for plumpjacks.

Bittner stated “The vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel — and I have more fat than I can use. Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly but they get to take part in saving the Earth.” Well, at least save Bittner’s gas bill. Bittner must look at Al Gore with particular longing.

I find it a bit suspicious that the majority of patients are so insistent on Bittner running on their fat. It brings vague images of the soap production from the movie Fight Club.

The problem is that it is illegal to use medical waster to power vehicles. The attention to this fuel-production sideline came after questions were raised about his skills and qualifications, including a website. He is still posted, however, as an available Beverly Hills doctor on some sites.

Officials have been unable to locate Bittner who has moved to South America. It sounds like he has enough fat to get him there. After that, he might have to tap into the locals.

For the full story, click here.

16 thoughts on “Driving Miss Daisy: California Doctor Leaves Country After Using Patient’s Fat as Fuel for His Cars”

  1. His tossed salads were astonishing too. I bet you could go cross country from Oprah leavings. No? Too soon? Tip your waitresses.

  2. There’s a law against the use medical waster to power vehicles, go figure. And somebody actualy makes the time to uphold this law? Get a life.

    He should be sued for owning two SUV’s, nothing ese.

    Merry coca-cola everyone.

  3. Once again, Jill fails to respond, as always
    – whimp…

    JT, I gotta tell ya – while I’m typing here,in an effort to post, my lines are being deleted backwards – it’s bizarre!

  4. Sally,
    Jill does NOT preside here in any way shape or form.
    She IS a horse’s ass of the ‘saddleback’ variery.
    Yeehaaaaaw!

    Say what you wish.

  5. I’m a little skeptical of the story, or at least the snark on it. You can’t pull out too much fat without risking complications. I think I once read it’s only 10 pounds or so typically, and 20 pounds is truly exceptional. It’s a myth that anyone could go into a clinic and have 50+ pounds sucked out.

    A 12 gallon tank holds about 100 pounds of fuel. You might get more than one pound of fuel for one pound of fat, but you’re easily talking about 4-6 patients (or more) per tank.

    On the other hand, that could be less than a day’s effort. Maybe it’s not an exaggeration that he had more fat than he could use.

    As to the law, I suspect it’s a generic ban on disposition of medical waste at anything other than an approved biohazard disposal site. I have to agree in this case. We aren’t talking about pristine fat, we’re talking about something containing a significant amount of blood and other biological fluids. I’m sure the fuel itself is inert, but what about when it’s transported to his rendering facility, storage there, etc.?

  6. No harm done Jill. I knew what you were saying. I’m not easily offended, especially online, when you can’t fully explain yourself without writing a mini novel.

  7. Merry Christmas ‘turlees’- especially mespo, JT, AND DW, always – mwaaaahs under the mistletoe! {;*

  8. JT,

    I think you need to add another category to the blog’s sidebar; the “Bucket of Blood” category, for stories like this one.

    rcampbell, that was priceless!

    Sally,

    I spoke strongly in my post to you last night, because I feel that strongly about the topic. However, I would regret having hurt you by not choosing my words more carefully. If I did so, I apologize.

    To All:

    I hope all celebrations, even those that do get a little out of control (as families sometimes do), are ones you can laugh about, even if it takes a few years. For everyone, my best wishes for happiness.

  9. Doesn’t the good book tell us to live off the “fat of the land”.

    The good doc is just a modern day Davy Crockett.

    Oh the wit of JT! However, his great witticism “Driving Miss Daisy” was a bit sexist. Just some potential legal fat to chew on…

    rc and Sally: Yep, me too.

    However, the govmint wern’t gittin’ no taxes off *that* fat (pork) and that makes g-man mad.

  10. To JT & All:
    And on a serious note, I am wishing all my blog friends a Happy and Joyous Holiday Season and a prosperous New Year. Thanks to JT again for giving us this forum to comment on and learn from.

  11. This is great news. My net worth may have increased without me knowing it. What do you suppose the rendering rate of liquid fuel is per pound?
    I am even now calling my broker to get the futures price — on me!

  12. “Does this Escalade make me look fat?

    >The problem is that it is illegal to use medical waste to power >vehicles.

    What would compel a legislative body to enact this law? I’m not saying I’m challenging it, I’m simply trying get a grip on the idea that some body fat-as-fuel episode or a medical or alternative fuel study would have caused this legislative action.

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