The Real Thing: Indian Company Introduces Cow Urine Soft Drink

black-and-white-cow-3Indian newspapers are reporting that an Indian company is about to introduce a rival to Coca Cola: Cow Urine soda. This ultimate un-cola (or ungulate cola) is made with a base of gau ark (cow urine) though they prefer to call it gau jal (cow water). My doubts about the authenticity of this story have been dispelled by the widespread report in India, where there are long-held views of the health benefits of cow waste, including tooth paste and face powder. I personally like the cow dung after shave to give me that cudly feel in the morning.

The head of the Hardwar-based “Cow Protection Department,” Om Prakash, observed “It will be a revolution of sorts. The acceptance of cow urine as a potent medicine is increasing day by day and once it comes as a cold drink, its demand will definitely increase.” Cow dung tiles are widely believed to be resistant to things like radiation.

The problem is marketing. Sierra Mist is taken, though Angus Mist is possible. Most regrettably, Squirt is also taken as is Hines Root Beer.

Also taken are relevant product slogan like Snapple’s “Made from the best stuff on Earth”

I think that they should just go with “Got Urine?”

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10 thoughts on “The Real Thing: Indian Company Introduces Cow Urine Soft Drink”

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  4. Well, if it were my choice, I’d rather drink cow pee.
    Why? Its holier.

    Coca cola is 90% horse pee, anyway. No joke.

  5. I see Hindus are rcycling many things, but I never expect that. I realize a billion and half people live in the country but i see less garbage than it is in the USA. amazing to rcycling but no attempt to try that drink or whatever!

  6. i’ll steer clear of it, thank you very much, though it might go well with mountain oysters.

  7. “Cow Urine Soft Drink”—How can someone put those four words in a single sentence?

  8. From time to time, the drinking of human urine has gotten promotion by rather marginal members of the medical community in India.

  9. Taste test challenge–which is better, horse or cow? Is cow the new Premarin or will we return to Horse-a-cola-classic?

  10. eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    That could only be nastier if it came in “diet” form.

    Pst, hey, India . . . I know you have some religious traditions regarding cattle, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the nozzle you’re supposed to drink from. Here’s a hint: watch the calf. And gamma rays? You could drink the whole cow and not be protected. Good luck with marketing! You’ll need it.

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