Hello Kitty: Transvestite Mafia Boss Named “Kitty” Arrested in Naples

sissy-gangsterHere is your Mafia Valentine story. Ugo Gabriele, 27, a mafia boss in Naples who ran a huge drug, prostitution, and murder racket has been arrested. Police were surprised, however, to find that he insisted on being called Kitty and was now a transvestite. It appears that the mob has finally dropped its long discriminatory hiring practices and removed the glass ceiling for gay, lesbian, and transsexual mobsters.

The Harvey Milk of the Mob was arrested this week wearing plucked eyebrows and lipstick.
The United States mafia remains a hostile place for gay, lesbian, and transsexual mobsters who are trying to come out of the closet while staying in the shadows. John “Johnny Boy” D’Amato was reportedly gunned down in New York in 1992 for being homosexual. His killer Anthony Capo of the New Jersey-based DeCavalcante family said: “Nobody’s gonna respect us if we have a gay homosexual boss sitting down discussing La Cosa Nostra business.” His co-conspirator Stefano Vitabile and Capo arranged to take D’Amato out from some lunch and then shot him in the car.

Well, Tony, Kitty was doing quite well in Naples with stiletto heels and stiletto knives.

The case is thought to have been the inspiration of the story on the Sopranos where Vito Spatafore was killed for being gay. To show the progress that the La Costa Nostra chapter of Lambda, just consider the exchange between Vito and Tony on his own sexual awakening, here.

Next season on HBO: The Oddfather

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11 thoughts on “Hello Kitty: Transvestite Mafia Boss Named “Kitty” Arrested in Naples”

  1. If you take the phrase, “Hello, Kitty”, insert an ominous pause, and say it the voice of Bond villain Ernst Blofeld . . . well, that’s just funny.

  2. The more I think about this the more I see the connection between Hello Kitty and Ugo. They are both part of nefarious enterprises with gleaming corporate fronts. Hello Kitty has a giant museum in S. Korea. Perhaps Ugo should submit memorabilia? Sinister!

  3. rcampbell,

    I like it–jaunty but oh so tragic! Hey, I’ve heard Operas with far worse story lines.


    Happy Birthday one day early and many happy returns of the day.

  4. Jill

    One can almost hear the strains of the opening number, “Springtime for “Kitty” and Italy?

  5. Que cosi?! This is all Tony Soprano’s fault! Ya relax da rules and let one Don see a shrink and what happens…..? Non respito a tradizioni.

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