While the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has been ridiculed for inefficiencies, waste, and absurd restrictions, it has taken a bold effort to close one of the greatest remaining threats to the homeland: muleskinners. Under a new anti-terror law, TSA has determined that mule skinners (who actually do not skin mules but drive them) must have criminal background checks.
TSA’s reach now extends to the seasonal workers who dress in colonial garb at a historical park called the Hugh Moore Historical Park in Easton, Pa. who must acquire biometric Transportation Worker Identification Credentials (TWIC). The park as one boat pulled by two mules moving two miles an hour.
The local congressman, Rep. Charles Dent, R-Pennsylvania, has requested a waiver.
Dent’s actions may endanger us all. I am tired of constantly looking over my shoulder to see if a mule-skinner is slowly gaining on me. While a terrorist moving at two miles an hour may seem slow, it is 100% faster than terrorists moving at one mile an hour on a rolling log. After all, William Faulkner wrote “A mule will labor ten years willingly and patiently for you, for the privilege of kicking you once.” The question is what mule cells are already in place in our country. Indeed, I have personally seen (and been repeatedly pulled) by mules working within our very own government on the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal.
The “soft-on-terror” liberals are inviting Al Qaeda to infiltrate all of our historical parks. (You can often pick them out with the mules named Infidel and referring to children as “little crusaders.”).
Thank you, TSA, for standing against the mule-skinner menace.
For the full story, click here.
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Buddha & Bron,
Thank you. Now all I’ve got to do is decide on an icon. Oh the woe of the ego.
MikeS:
it is very simple, I was able to do it in about 5 minutes. If you have something in mind I might be able to draw it for you using autocad which is what I did for mine and then I printed it to a png file (I have no idea what png stands for I use the computer like a hammer-see nail pound nail. I have no idea how to make a nail or a hammer) and followed the directions on the site that Buddha pointed me to.
Laughing…..still laughing… thanks!
And thanks for the explanation about the link to Popehat.
lol
Someone cross linked this to their blog. They titled their article, “It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Flies A Mule Into the Capitol Building”
Do you have any idea how drunk you have to get a mule to get it airborne? And you still have to get them up to speed to get enough lift.
Mike,
Not to intrude, but here you go.
Buddha Is Laughing 1, February 25, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Bron,
You can either register as a WordPress user or go directly to http://www.gravatar.com to set up an account there. It really is a matter of preference since WordPress uses Gravatar as the default icon service.
Bron,
Like your icon. You all are making me jealous. how do I put one of my own up?
a bit garish though, I will have to work on it.
Buddha:
I thank you for pointing me in the direction of blogology
MikeS:
those TN mules are hell raisers!
There is only one thing more dangerous to national security than a mule and that’s a drunk mule.
Bron,
now that you mention it, it was a Tennessee mule from Rocky Top and it might have been drinking.
FFLEO,
That was a sweet story. I like mules and donkeys. They have a lot of personality!
Mules are the best pack animals available. I outfitted with my uncle from a young age up until my second year in college in the wildlands of Colorado and a mule never once kicked me.
I still cannot stop laughing at this article. Thanks Prof. Turley.
Gee, Haw! As my grandpappy would say.
“I look across the fields and I can see that mule, Ol’ Rivers, and me….”
Walter Brennan ‘Old Rivers’ 1962
MikeS:
you must hang out with a baser kind of mule. The ones I have known were very gentle and good tempered although they were only used to carry kids during camp trail rides and they were from Missouri. Maybe you met a Tennesse or Kentucky mule.
Mike S.,
You’re good. You need to apply to DHS forthwith! Nothing is getting by you.
Buddha,
You can laugh all you want but have you ever seen or smelled a mule up close. Those are mean, nasty animals and anyone capable of controlling them must be meaner and nastier. Now you know that America’s enemies are mean and nasty. By the simple logic we’ve seen exhibited by some on this site:
All mule skinners are mean and nasty.
All America haters are mean an nasty.
Ergo mule skinners hate America.
Since mule skinners hate America by dint of logic than we should at the very least check them closely. However, to be absolutely sure and thus absolutely unafraid we should render them to a suitable country and replace all real mules with animatronic ones. Also since anyone capable of controlling an animatronic mule must have some science capability which we know can be dangerous, we should replace the humans with animatronic mule skinners. Then we’ll all be safe from this potential terror that stalks our children and us.
do all government workers need biometric identification?
That’s just so ridiculous, I’m speechless.