Broken Heart, Empty Head: Florida Man Admits to Staging Robbery to Woe Ex-Girlfriend

culberson_derickDerick A. Culberson, 22, is accused to moving beyond the normal roses and dinners to win back a girlfriend. Culberson has been charged with making a false police report that he was robbed at gunpoint in order to get his girlfriend feel guilty for leaving him

The Palm City, Florida resident told police that he was not just robbed but tied with zip ties by men who stole his vehicle GPS device. He gave details of the robbers descriptions and weapon.

On its face, the account is a bit unbelievable. Robbers will usually take the vehicle with its GPS device. They usually do not wait around to tie up the driver, who is usually left on the street or killed in such crimes.

Nevertheless, dozens of police searched for the suspects. It was a bit suspicious when the police found other zip ties in his vehicle. Note to self: don’t be cheap in staging crimes, throw out the extra rope or ties. He finally confessed that the fake robbery was to try to rekindle his relationship. It is not clear how her breakup made him a target for robbery or why she would feel guilty. There appears to be certain logical disconnects throughout Derick’s analysis for the situation.

One might view this incident as ratifying rather the rebutting the earlier decision from the girlfriend to end the relationship. It is not clear how having a criminal record and being widely treated as a dysfunctional moron will improve the relationship, but hope springs eternal.

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6 thoughts on “Broken Heart, Empty Head: Florida Man Admits to Staging Robbery to Woe Ex-Girlfriend”

  1. I think this fits here:
    Action is the real measure of intelligence.
    Napoleon Hill

  2. Buddha,

    In “Benny and June” they break into a frickin’ mental hospital. The protagonists in “Sweet Home Alabama,” and “Four Weddings and a Funeral” are horrible people. Don’t even get me started on the creepy stalker tactics the guys always have to use to win The Girl.

  3. Gyges,

    In a fit of concurrence, all I can say is:

    Pretty Woman


    The Myth of Whores With a Heart of Gold

    How many lives has that Soderbergh/Roberts/Gere trifecta of relationship poison ruined? Aye, the body count mounts high . . .

  4. And people complain about violence in movies. Romantic comedies are the true menace to society.

  5. Maybe, but if you think about it his attempt to woo and ended in woe. So woe to the wooer who does not know which row to hoe?

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