Two Angry Men: Recently Unsuccessful Juror Excuses

small_Grant Michael FaberThere has been a spate of juror problems of late in courts around the country. Grant Faber, 25, in Hillsboro, Oregon (left) is facing contempt charges for walking out of a trial due to “extreme boredom” while Erik Sly, 36, got into trouble in Gallatin county in Montana for writing the court to inform it that he would “rather count the wrinkles on my dog’s balls” than serve on a jury.

Faber said that he “just couldn’t take it” so he decided not to come back from lunch. When he failed to return, Washington County Circuit Judge Gayle Nachtigal, issued a warrant for his arrest. The maximum penalty for missing jury duty is six months in jail, but penalties are often waived in favor of further jury duty.

In the case of Sly, he proved the meaning of his name–after writing this letter the judge gave him a verbal warning and then excused him from jury duty. That is a pretty remarkable outcome given the following note to the court:

Apparently you morons didn’t understand me the first time. I CANNOT take time off from work. I’m not putting my family’s well-being at stake to participate in this crap. I don’t believe in our “justice” system and I don’t want to have a goddamn thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete waste of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dog’s balls than sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the Fuck alone.

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11 thoughts on “Two Angry Men: Recently Unsuccessful Juror Excuses”

  1. How the fuck does someone get away with this shit???? They both should be thrown in jail… the first guy seems like maybe he’s just stupid, so maybe not the max for him, but chuckle-nuts in the second case needs to have the biggest book thrown at him… let’s see how 6 months in jail affects your job, asshole! Seriously, if you have issues, petition to have your time moved or dismissed, but a note like that DEMANDS action. You have to follow the rules, shithead. There are proper and improper ways to go about things, if you don’t want to do things correctly, there are consequences. Some people try to do the right thing and go about things the correct way, and it is a complete and utter slap in their faces when an asshat like this gets off while doing everything wrong. I don’t know why this makes me as angry as it does, but I almost think that judge should be investigated for letting that punk off with a warning. Maybe he was paid off or some shit…

  2. Juror lists are taken from voter rolls. If these two aren’t that interested in the process, why did they inflict their votes on us? Or did they get to the polls to discover that Rush wasn’t there and went home?

  3. Government officials do not get it. They are constantly creating this atmosphere that breeds contempt for our nation around the world and a lot of it here at home.

    It is festering and it is growing like gangrene. Most people infecting in the way these two were infected have the PR smarts to keep it under wrap.

    Just because they are not marching in the streets does not mean they are not protesting inside.

  4. Henry,

    By all means consider AY’s suggestion. It’s pacifist subversion of a systemic wrong at it’s finest. The best fight, not just the fight against oppression but any fight, is the one where victory comes at no cost measured in human life.

  5. Henry,

    Good man, where do you live and can I pick you. Nah, well maybe. Tell em you have not made your decision one way or the other. Do your job, go undercover. Do it. Do you think that cops would make busts or at least under cover if they were not lying to start with?

  6. I live in a city, so most of the jury trials are for possession or sale of drugs. When I am being considered for a jury, I simply tell the judge the truth, which is that I will not participate in the drug war, and will not convict for possession or sale of drugs, regardless of the evidence. I do not get put on the jury in those cases. If I were more dedicated, then I would not tell the judge my attitude, get on the jury, and engage in jury nullification if necessary (i.e., vote to acquit even if I thought that the defendant was guilty).

  7. I think I’ve had both of these guys on juries in the past. Although people love to complain about the justice system, the truth is that many people share Dick Cheney’s attitude toward service and simply have “other priorities.” As a consequence jury pools frequently consist of the unemployed and those lacking imagination sufficient to concoct an excuse to get out of it. Clients then look at their lawyers with an expression that says, “Are you kidding me?” I was fortunate enough on one occasion to be chosen for a jury and truly appreciated the experience of seeing things from the other side. Lawyers in general need to do a much better job at educating the public on the importance of jury service and the sense of civic fulfillment the experience can provide.

  8. I like that man, I want him to be the next Judge for the supreme Court. Do you hear that Obama, said it like a man.

    The question is, how many do they have, does it really matter.

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