This blog site addresses some truly terrifying stories from plagues to economic meltdown to genocide. However, nothing quite prepared me for this: the invention of a robot teacher. This brown-haried, cog-filled Cyborg vixen is a threat to all that American holds dear — and threatening the beloved host of this blog with the prospect of having to earn a living through hard labor.

The Japanese have unleashed a vicious attack on academics everywhere with the release of Saya, a demon-like robot who can teach without pay, delay, complaint, illness, or fatigue. Worse yet, unlike most of us who insist on updating our teaching notes no sooner than every 20 years, this roboprof can be updated with a simple download.

For years, I have been advocating research into robot students who could go school, never graduate, work to pay tuition and look adoringly as we teach. However, it never occurred to me that they would replace the professor. After all, the whole point of education is the employment of professors and their well-being.

The Dr. Strangelove of this story is Hiroshi Kobayashi, Tokyo University of Science professor and Saya’s developer, who insists “Robots that look human tend to be a big hit with young children and the elderly. Children even start crying when they are scolded.”

Worse yet, schools can purchase these things for $51,000 — a one-time cost without medical, tenure, or faculty meetings. Just a little oil and occasional downloads. We will be left with our dean overlords and their army of roboprofs. This video from one such law school is chilling.

For the story, click here.