This week a homeless man in California hit a fellow transient in the face with a skateboard over a disagreement about quantum physics. In San Francisco, Jason Everett Keller, 40, allegedly attacked, Stephan Fava, over a disputed physics question.
At the time of the attack, Fava was discussing quantum physics with a third homeless man.
I have been warning for years about the danger of “fighting words” in quantum physics discussions. I confess that I have come close to blows when I hear someone disparage Planck’s Action Constant in a bar.
For the Turley bloggers, here are a few pointers to avoid when you find yourself in a heated discussion with an amateur physicist. Likewise, one has to learn to control one’s temper when someone says “Hey, Buddy, I don’t care what the correspondence principle says, all objects do not have to obey the laws of quantum mechanics.”
In the interest of quantum peace, here are my top five favorite pick-up lines for physicists:
1. What’s your resonance frequency?
2. Your smile is warmer than hydrogen plasma.
3. I’m hung like a Foucault pendulum.
4. Heisenberg was wrong. I’m certain about what you’re doing tonight.
5. You make me want to be a better physicist.
For the story, click here.
eniobob
Just adding my (2)two cents:
“Something unknown is doing we don’t know what.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 – 1944), comment on the Uncertainty Principle in quantum physics, 1927″
A timeless observation, one applied now to dark matter and dark energy as I recall. That’s a great quote.
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Well, Mike, some posters to this blawg have inferred that not all of us here had a firm grasp of reality. In the future they can just call us Uber-Multi-Dimensional Thinkers. And if they don’t we can smack them with our skateboards 😉
Popehat,
From the Onion:
“Then, a few days ago, he was out there waving his tin-foil wand at random strangers, and I heard him yell, ‘I demand that you buy me an ice-cream cone! My third-favorite flavor is strange! My second-favorite is top! My favorite flavor is anti-charmed!’ Suddenly, I realized the guy was talking about quarks.”
It’s almost as if he’s channeling Max Planck and Groucho Marx simultaneously. That was one of the funnier things I’ve read in a while. Thanks.
Now I’m off to get an anti-charmed and strange malt with extra malt and a dash of gluons. Yum yum. I’ll stay a week or two, but I am telling you, I must be going.
Eleven dimensions….hmmph! Three should be good enough for most people except for you lefty elitists out there.
If I could ever find a girl who would understand those pick up lines, then I’d really be set…
As per usual, life imitates The Onion.
AY: “Most here are rationale.”
LOL
And those that are can be presumed to be irrational some of the time.
AY: I think we are on the road to becoming Heisenberg’s Disciples; which would also be a pretty cool name for a biker club made of of physicists. As would Schrodinger’s Cats- if they were of sufficient age to dig the Beat resonance.
Great article Professor, thanks for the laugh.
Just adding my (2)two cents:
“Something unknown is doing we don’t know what.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 – 1944), comment on the Uncertainty Principle in quantum physics, 1927”
Opps,
Buddha, Thanks for the clarification. Not Mr. Buddha, but just plain ole Son of a Buddha…
IS,
That is why I asked for clarification. I thought there was a yoke in there but I did not understand it. So rather than it being assumed I was amused. I asked. Most of the people here will try and explain it in rationale way if only allowed. Most here are rationale.
Another topic, I was wondering if the new found troll like people are people+trolls=Petrolls are really the make up of the Scientology group?
It’s funny for a fish monger without any proper historical context on anything to talk about the contextual nature of comedy. (see ‘Merchant of Venice’ to get the joke)
It is like reading Shakespeare and knowing that it should be funny but since one does not know the joke in the context of the times it is just out of reach.
that Heisenberg line was very funny. Although I should think most women at a bar or men for that matter would not understand the humor.
“Juxtaposition is almost as universally required in comedy as IS exaggeration, even when used as a pick up line.”
That verb is important to the meaning of that sentence.
AY,
You are most welcome. One lives to be of service. And please . . . Mr. Buddha is my father. You can call me plain old Buddha.
Mr. Buddha,
Thank you for the reverential treatment of the explanation of you humor which is funny. I thought I saw a joke in it but It was lost on me at the time. Thank you again.
AY,
“4. Heisenberg was wrong. I’m certain about what you’re doing tonight.”
Werner Heisenberg was a physicist. A contemporary of Einstein and Bohr, he was retained by the Reich to manage their nuclear weapons program. He did such a sketchy job of it, that many physicists are convinced he was playing ‘monkey wrench’ instead of ‘Nazi scientist’. He’s famous for several theories but especially in quantum mechanics. His most famous conjecture is the Uncertainty Principle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncertainty_principle) and by the terms of that conjecture one may not measure the velocity or position of a subatomic particle with arbitrary precision – i.e. you can measure either property but not both. The implication being that uncertainty is built into the fabric of reality and that observation changes reality by fixing one data point as the other becomes unknown. Everett’s Many Worlds theory came about from disagreements about both Heisenberg and Schrodinger’s take on uncertainty and observation. The humor here comes from the certainty the joker alludes to concerning his chances of bedding the joke-ee in light of uncertainty as juxtaposition. Juxtaposition is almost as universally required in comedy as exaggeration, even when used as a pick up line.
And that is how to vivisect a joke.
Buddha,
Please do explain.
This may be taking a low blow, but was he trying to prove his point of view of his understanding of QP?
Laugh if you want. The Heisenberg line works.