A flight to Hawaii from Portland, Oregon was turned around after a flight attendant was given what they said was a potentially threatening note. Joseph Hedlund Johnson was arrested for the note, which seems to make not a reference to an act of terrorism but ‘Gilligan’s Island.”
Johnson, 56, was on Hawaiian Airlines on a flight to Maui and was ticked that he was not allowed to store his bag under his seat because it was an exit row. That is when he gave the flight attendant a comment card in a sealed note which the attendant then read to the pilot. According to CNN, this is what it said:
“I thought I was going to die, we were so high up. I thought to myself: I hope we don’t crash and burn or worse yet landing in the ocean, living through it, only to be eaten by sharks, or worse yet, end up on some place like Gilligan’s Island, stranded, or worse yet, be eaten by a tribe of headhunters, speaking of headhunters, why do they just eat outsiders, and not the family members? Strange … and what if the plane ripped apart in mid-flight and we plumited (sic) to earth, landed on Gilligan’s Island and then lived through it, and the only woman there was Mrs. Thurston Howell III? No Mary Anne (my favorite) no Ginger, just Lovey! If it were just her, I think I’d opt for the sharks, maybe the headhunters.”
Ok, where is the threat and interference with a crew member? Of course, it is no joking matter to throw around references to old television shows in syndication but did the pilot really think this was the start of an attack? Al Qaeda notes rarely reference Ginger.
By the way, his sanity was revealed by the mere fact that he favored Mary Ann. Half of mankind wanted to be marooned on an island with Mary Ann. I have never met a guy who liked Ginger better (despite her portrayal as drop-dead gorgeous). Mary Ann (and of course Barbara Eden in I Dream of Jeannie) were universally the first crush of boys of my generation). Most terrorists write about 72 virgins as opposed to being marooned with Mary Ann on Gilligan’s Island.
In this case, military jets were scrambled to escort the flight and its Gilligan Island fan back to Oregon.
Johnson faces 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine for interference with the performance and duties of a crew member.
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
The Skipper too,
The millionaire and his wife,
The movie star
The professor and Mary Ann,
Here on Gilligans Isle.
So this is the tale of the castways,
They’re here for a long, long time,
They’ll have to make the best of things,
It’s an uphill climb.
The first mate and the Skipper too,
Will do their very best,
To make the others comfortable,
In the tropic island nest.
No phone, no lights no motor cars,
Not a single luxury,
Like Robinson Crusoe,
As primitive as can be.
So join us here each week my freinds,
You’re sure to get a smile,
From seven stranded castways,
Here on “Gilligan’s Isle.”
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