The men on this blog finally have something to say to our spouses and significant others when confronted with complaints about toilet seats being left up or the lack of regular bathing: we are evolving faster than you. Of course, the new research showing that the Y chromosome is the fastest evolving in the human code may only confirm for many women that we are in need of serious evolutionary progress as a gender.
The study focused on the Y chromosomes from humans and chimpanzees. Dr. David Page, director of the prestigious Whitehead Institute in Cambridge and a professor of biology at MIT says “The Y chromosome appears to be the most rapidly evolving of the human chromosomes. It’s an almost ongoing churning of gene reconstruction. It’s like a house that’s constantly being rebuilt.”
So next time she tells you that you are a bum and waste of her time, you can now say “Come one, Honey, I am evolving as fast as I can.” What you do not have to mention is that our evolutionary surge is likely to develop a double jointed thumb for better clicker operation and greater skeletal flexibility for lying horizontal on a couch.
I personally have long argued to Leslie that I am an exciting work in progress and now Dr. Page supports my view.
Now for one of my favorite country tunes, which seems confirmatory of this study:
Now, Brad Paisley may not have a science degree by he speaks for many when he notes: ”
I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, “Yeah girls he’s come a long way”
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club.” Now he has a study to support the lyrics.
For Dr. Page’s next stage of research, here are the full lyrics:
“I’m Still A Guy”
When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You’re probably thinking that you’re going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but no matter what
I’m still a guyWhen you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I’d like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain’t proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I’m still a guyI’ll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked byI can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, “Yeah girls he’s come a long way”
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a clubAnd building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I’m still a guyI’ll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked byThese days there’s dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can’t grip a tackleboxWith all of these men lining up to get neutered
It’s hip now to be feminized
I don’t highlight my hair
I’ve still got a pair
Yeah honey, I’m still a guyOh my eyebrows ain’t plucked
There’s a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I’m still a guy
For the full story, click here.
Nal “Why isn’t it incumbent on the woman to put the toilet seat up? The answer to that question answers all other questions.”
—
Because sometime in the gap between toilets with seats being invented and electricity being invented women that stumbled into dark bathrooms and sat down on toilets that had seats UP probably poisoned their husbands (worst case)or at least never gave them the chance to produce offspring again. Sexual selection (Darwin) still works with that scenario.
Gyges,
Compromise and consideration for your spouse are definitely keys to domestic tranquility. We don’t have any unwritten rules at our house–or in the car. I think that’s because my husband and I know and understand each other so well…after more than four decades of marriage. It’s best not to sweat the small stuff anyway.
Nal:
“Why isn’t it incumbent on the woman to put the toilet seat up? The answer to that question answers all other questions.”
the answer to that question is obvious, I am surprised you even ask.
gYGES:
are you a marriage counselor? good advice.
Nal,
In my half a decade of marriage I’ve found one of the keys to domestic tranquility is “compromise in favor of the person who cares the most about the issue.” Since I don’t really care if the seat is up or down, and my wife does… she wins.
The other key is “The driver gets to choose the CD.”
Nal,
This is scary. You and I were pondering the same matter.
But then again, I was rethinking that why do we have to put the toilet seat down, when its just as easy for it to be kept up to start with.
Men are always thinking of being useful and conserving the resources don’t you know.
Why isn’t it incumbent on the woman to put the toilet seat up? The answer to that question answers all other questions.
Elaine M.,
I do regarding the seat.
But how then hell do you “be facile with a TV remote.”
If you want to use one at the same time get a universal remote and play channel wars.
It makes it some much easier than yelling at each other to change the channel or volume down. You are aware that most men have selective hearing unless it pertains to something we are interested in……
Chatter about toilet seats, whose evolved, etc. has to be about the least interesting or useful stuff imaginable (not to mention the awful gender jokes that float around). The abilities, behaviors, etc. of each gender overlap with those that are common in another gender.
OOOPPPS!
Correction on my comment above:
While we females may be selective in picking out mates, I don’t think THERE are specific sexual markers that will indicate to us whether or not a male will put down the toilet seat or be facile with a TV remote control.
Nal.
I could not agree more. Isn’t Darwin head of the 700 Club?
Nal–
While we females may be selective in picking out mates, I don’t think their are specific sexual markers that will indicate to us whether or not a male will put down the toilet seat or be facile with a TV remote control.
Nals, are you stating that the women are sexually selective?
Yes, that’s the general meaning proposed by Darwin.
Nal,
Men are the way we are because of sexual selection. If women don’t like it, they only have themselves to blame.
*****************************
Nals, are you stating that the women are sexually selective? If so, I could not agree more. If you are saying that men are sexually selective. I am going to take a stab at this and say you are correct in about 5% of the cases. Most men do things that some others only dream of.
For a good analogy on this see 2 and a half men. Charlie and Allen and raising poor ole Jake.
Don’t forget the need for greater “tear” production – not so we can cry at tear-jerker movies, but rather so that we can further reduce our blink rate while staring at tvs, computers, phones, etc.
This by the way is why there’s a good chance all men will be color-blind sometime in the next few generations.
Nal,
“…they only have themselves to blame.”
SB
“…they only have their mothers to blame”
Men are the way we are because of sexual selection. If women don’t like it, they only have themselves to blame.
I’d have to ask if the “Y” chromosone is evolving in the right direction.
I have noticed the young guys that is those my son’s age that are under 30 seem quite evolved compared to my generation.I hope I do not offend anyone but there has been a very noticeable change in attitudes.