Crist v. Rubio: Forget Back Taxes, How About Back Waxes?

In the past, political scandals center on back taxes. In Florida’s senatorial race, however, it is back waxes. Gov. Charlie Crist raised the question on Fox News — questioning whether his opponent Marco Rubio charged the Republican party for a back wax.

Not only did Crist raise the issue of whether Rubio is back-hair challenged, but suggested that he pays too much for a hair cut.

FOX NEWS’ VAN SUSTEREN: And sort of a punch back which occurred previously is that you have said about your opponent, Mr. Rubio, that he is the greatest fraud perpetrated. So it sounds like you have had a couple of punches back as well. Why do you say that?

GOV. CHARLIE CRIST: Because he’s trying to pawn himself off as a fiscal conservative. And yet just in reason weeks, two weeks ago it has come out in news accounts he had a Republican Party of Florida credit card that he charged $130 haircut, or maybe it was a back wax — we are not sure what all he got at that place.

VAN SUSTEREN: Wait a second, stop. A back wax? Wait a second.

CRIST: I don’t know what it was, you know?

VAN SUSTEREN: I know, but was there a suggestion it was for a back wax or are you being flip?

CRIST: I don’t know what it was. Initially we were told it was a haircut. And then he said it wasn’t a haircut. Then he had the gall to go on Neil Cavuto’s show and said it was his money. It was a credit card from the Republican Party. It was party donors’ money.

The detachment from reality is stunning to me. And to try to say that you’re a fiscal conservative, yet you spend $130 for maybe a haircut and maybe other things, I don’t know what you do at a salon we you are a guy.

I get my haircut for $11 from a guy named Carl the Barber in St. Petersburg, Florida where I grew up. And to me that’s real fiscal conservatism.

And so what I mean by perpetrating a fraud on people is by saying one thing and actually doing another. That’s night not right. That’s not being honest and straightforward with the voters.

Clearly, an examination of Rubio’s back is called for to clear up this growing scandal. Indeed, candidates may now to discarding their shirts to show untreated tufts of back hair. Rubio, however, has a possible campaign song:

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15 thoughts on “Crist v. Rubio: Forget Back Taxes, How About Back Waxes?”

  1. With all the real problems that the State of Florida has, is this candidate really making a haircut/wax job into a big campaign issue? I hope Mario hasn’t had any manicure’s lately. That would really make Crist’s head explode!

  2. AY,
    Nope, i am absolutely not volunteering to wax the Sasquatch…not his back, chest, a$$ or any other part. Personally, I think the notion of waxing anyone gives me the heebee jeebee’s…I have a very weak stomach in such matters!

  3. I think it was for a chest wax.

    And I think Charlie would be happy to do it for him.

  4. Canadian Eh.,

    I don’t want to be the one to give the sasquatch the waxing, do you?

    And for that are we sure that this story is not just to wax his A$$?

  5. Given the many sensitive areas that many women have wax applied to and ripped off of, a big strong sasquatch should have no problem at all!

  6. Canadian,

    True that. Sasquatch have nerves of steel unlike those in mutants in Congress. I say if one has to have an affliction, being hairy is far less odious than being a spineless graft weasel.

  7. I actully go to a guy named Joe who charges $8… I always leave at least a $7 tip and round it up to $15, so I believe $11/haircut. The guy is always busy and very fast. The most annoying thing though is that he is only open Tue-Sat from about 10-4/4:30ish. It’s actually a little hit and miss.

    Why are we talking about haircuts again? What the hell does this have to with running for the Senate?

  8. At $11 per haircut, I’ll bet Carl the Barber in St. Petersburg is hoping he can get some Healthcare Reform subsidy for health insurance.

    (It almost sounds like Gretta is pushing back against Crist making a totally unfounded personal/political attack! She had better watch it – that’s the sort of stuff that will get you kicked off of Faux News.)

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