Drunk Wolfe Tries To Resuscitate Dead Possum in Pennsylvania

Donald Wolfe, 55, was arrested this week in an act of mercy. Police found him giving the kiss of life to a dead possum on the side of the road. He also tried what appeared to be a seance to revive the animal. Oh yea, he was reportedly as drunk as the possum was dead.

He was charged with public intoxication. The possum at the time of this posting remains dead.

For the full story, click here.

8 thoughts on “Drunk Wolfe Tries To Resuscitate Dead Possum in Pennsylvania”

  1. As a kid, I had the crap scared out of me by a possum that was playing dead. I decided to use a broom to sweep it out of the garage. As I started to sweep, it came to life.

    I don’t know if white men can jump, but I can tell you; White boys can! 🙂

  2. What a dumbass!

    Does the phrase “playing possum” ring a bell?

    Look, Donnie, I get a lot of mileage out of a funny story about my cousin when we were kids and a possum everyone thought must surely be dead. We all thought it was funny when a 20 pound pissed off and hurt possum came to life as he carried it over his back by its tail.

    He didn’t. I’m sure the possum wasn’t thrilled either.

    But we were laughing our asses off.

    So next time you want to revive roadkill, might I suggest that first mouth to mouth attempt be on an animal not known in common knowledge for playing dead without being dead.

    Unless you just like that sort of thing. I’m just sayin’ . . .

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