Busted: Fat Felons Filching Fail

Two adipose Oklahoma women have been accused of trying to steal $2,600 worth of goods from a T J Maxx store. The would-be robbers, Ailene Brown, 28, and Shmeco Thomas, 37, used the folds of their skin and body fat to hide the shoplifted articles—which included three pairs of jeans, gloves, and a wallet. In an attempt at mammary malfeasance, one of the women is said to have tried to smuggle three pairs of boots out of the store underneath her breasts. A  booty boob job that was a bust!

Brown, reportedly, had a knife in her possession. Police believe she used it to cut off the security tags from the store merchandise the portly perpetrators tried to pilfer. Evidently, the rotund robbers did not make a speedy getaway. Both women have been arrested for shoplifting and face felony charges.

 Source: New York Daily News

– Elaine Magliaro, Guest Blogger

13 thoughts on “Busted: Fat Felons Filching Fail”

  1. “one of the women is said to have tried to smuggle three pairs of boots out of the store underneath her breasts.”

    3 pair of Boots were they High Tops,Steel Toes,Hunting ?

    What size were they and What color? Oh my bad they got caught.

  2. OT, but any of you comic book fans need to see this:

    A blog article on applying the law to the superhero comic book multiverse written by two lawyers.

    It’s really funny and pretty much spot on.

    So if you’ve ever wondered if evidence gained by Prof. X is admissible?



  3. A delightfully lyric re-telling of the crime Ms Elaine 🙂

    But I agree with your comment on the matter: ewwwwww, just ewwwwwww.

  4. ROFL…I am imagining the conversation between these ladies that led to the idea to use fat folds to hang on to stolen articles. You have to give them points for imagination!

  5. There was a Dick Tracy villain called Pockets. He’d been enormously fat but lost all his weight somehow, but his skin didn’t shrink, so he had all this excess skin hanging all over him.

    The solution, he went to a surgeon and had plastic snaps installed all over his body creating hundreds of pockets out of which he could pull whatever the situation called for, guns, dynamite, wads of cash, etc.

    Why are criminals not more creative like this anymore? The first thing these women should have done is lose weight.

  6. Yes i read that to Elaine and had to consider the wisdom of that eh, what lucky family got that piece of product I ask you eh. As to the Thelma & Louise duo here your more than right, not first time nor i suspect the last either……….lol ya gotta wonder eh

  7. What can one say??……..did they really think they get away with this??…………….its so funny yet so stupidly sad, but then again its life eh for some………….

  8. This story just made me gag! The thought of where they were hiding their stolen bounty disgusts me. I guess we won’t have to worry about these two svelte felons slipping through the jail cell bars to make their escape!

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