A Good Offense is The “Breast” Defense

Defense Exhibit A -Serena Kozakura

We’ve seen on this blog how lack of girth can be a “Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free” card for some folks. Can the “Bust Defense” to crimes be far behind? Well, it’s here now—just a tad east. Tokyo pinup model, Serena Kozakura, won her 2008 criminal case using her 44’s. No violence involved, just a little physics to prove that she was unable to fit through a hole. Seems our buxom lassie was charged with breaking into the home of an ex-boyfriend to confront the man about seeing another woman. When the hole in the man’s “kicked-in” door was measured it was determined that  Kozakura’s 44 inch bust would not fit the space. The trial court convicted her anyway rejecting the OJ “if it doesn’t fit ….” defense, but an appeals court reversed.

Judge Kunio Harada obviously agreed that Kozakura’s big breasts prevented her from going into the room through the hole and tossed the guilty verdict, stating that there was “reasonable doubt over the man’s account”. Kozakura even went on the air to show that she couldn’t fit through the hole. See video below.

In a statement after the decision our model coyly said, “”I used to hate my body so much, but it was my breasts that won in court.”  Leading me to wonder aloud, “Breasts — they’re not just for traffic tickets anymore?” I am also wondering about the method of proof employed by the defense in the case. Here’s one piece of demonstartive evidence, indeed!

You can see a video of Ms. Kozakura not fitting through the hole here:

http://sports.rightpundits.com/?p=496

Source: Right Field ERS.com
–Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

101 thoughts on “A Good Offense is The “Breast” Defense

  1. Mespo, I looked at this post for about a minute because it wasn’t on a topic I’m obsessing about recently, and I was not terribly interested. But then, I saw Bdaman and Buddha get into it, and I got confused, and since my threshold for confusion is kinda low today, I checked back to see what either or both of them were talking about, and then and then and then and then, and then I found myself asking:

    “How could an article about a woman who has big breasts lead to a knock-down-drag-out-name-calling fight between two MEN, of which neither has ever even MET HER?”

    And then I revised that question to read, “How could an article about a woman who has big breasts lead to a conflict among two or MORE men of whom NONE of them have met her?”

    And then I figured out everything in the world.

    How can I thank you for posting this invaluable article, Mespo? I forgive you for being a Virginia lawyer.

Comments are closed.