Remember striking out in the 70s with the line what’s your sign when the girl turned out to be a Virgo and you are a Gemini? Now, you can go back and try again if she is still available. Astronomers have announced that most people have been using the wrong astrological sign due to a mistake in the zodiac chart. They have recalculated the dates that correspond with each sign to accommodate millennia of subtle shifts in the Earth’s axis. I have been informed that after years of living as a Taurus (the bull), I am now considered an Aries (the ram).
The Minnesota Planetarium Society’s Parke Kunkle has caused astrological mayhem by releasing this new chart:
Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.
Notably, they continue to exclude Ophiuchus — the “serpent-bearer” represented as a man grasping the snake. It also helps immensely at bars in not having to pronounce Ophiuchus.
As a newly minted Aries, I have a bit of a problem. Leslie is now a Taurus, but some sites give some hope about the relationship. Moreover, does it matter that I was induced early and would have been a Taurus?
In the meantime, I would like to especially welcome the denizens of Leo, Sagittarius, Libra, Gemini, and Aquarius. However, this site will continue its policy of total astrological equality and tolerance — even for Ophiuchuses.
Source: Gawker
Oldie astrology song [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT_9OUvmb5I&w=425&h=349]
Former Fed.
Great video!!
Buddha,
i knew that, I was just remarking on your creative new zodiac sign. Thanks though!
On one perfect, sunshiny Saturday—whilst I was standing on the corner watching all the girls go by—a beautiful young lady paused and gently asked me in a very seductive voice, “What’s *your* sign?
I said, Why, Ma’am, I am a proud, handsome, rambunctious Taurus! What’s *your* sign?!
She smiled, my heart started racing, I thought my time had come; and then, she turned and with “the cutest ponytail that swayed with a wiggle when she walked”, she strutted away while pointing to that big ol’ red octagonal STOP sign on the corner…
raff,
I’d never suggest you fall under the sign of Feces.
But some other posters do leap to mind . . .
I spent my whole life proud of beeing a scorpio (yes! all the flaus and all the good points!) and now I’m a Virgo?! Oh no no no no! No relation at all! Well, this came to restore my non-belief in zodiac signs :\
Damn it! I’ve always liked being a Scorpio.
I went from Taurus to being an Aries, but at least I didn’t end up under the sign Feces as Buddha suggested!
Dredd,
Excellent comment about the sign of War. It does seem that the US just can’t survive without having to shoot at someone.
Known that for years, made a new horoscope- its easy; you just go 27degrees retrograd (backwards)-and it fits much better than the old system (2000yo) Of course the signs also are of different size- cover different number of degrees.Here is actually a chance to correct the wrong astrological charts and get an exact science. It is more exact because it reflects the REAL positions of the planets in the REAL signs. Try it, you will see tat it resonates with your life and personality. And to astrologers: WAKE UP! here is the chance to test the validity of your science.
Wait, you mean an arbitrary system can change itself arbitrarily? Next you’ll tell me the NFL gets to change the rules from year to year.
That explains it all….
I went from being a Virgo to being a Leo! I think there is something to this.
Speaking of Ophiuchus, I want to know how we as a society are supposed to address the issue of those born under that all too common, but oft overlooked, astrological sign: Feces. Don’t they deserve accurate forecasts of their future based on distant interstellar objects as well?
My birthday is in early July. My wife’s is July 20 which WAS on the cusp between Cancer and Leo. After reading one of those astrological personality profiles about the alleged influence of each sign, we’ve joked over the years about which of those sign dominates her. There’s a lot of Leo in the girl. However, she has said there is little doubt that my dominate sign is Cancer. By this new chart I’m solidly a Gemini and she borders on Cancer with no relationship to Leo. Could this mean she’ll become more compliant? I think not!
Unfair! My twin brother and I were Gemini, and now we’re Taurus?!?
This madness, this hokum, MUST END!
The U.S. claims to be of the Peace Sign, yet the astrologers are now realizing we are of the War Sign, which is far, far, far more expensive.
http://blogdredd.blogspot.com/2011/01/graphs-of-wrath-2.html
Recent discoveries in DNA science will relegate other textbooks to the dust bin of history too Professor Turley.
Imagine, astrological textbooks in the bin along with DNA science textbooks.
The times they are a changin’ eh?
http://blogdredd.blogspot.com/2011/01/momcoms-dad-father-of-spin.html
Astronomy departments and observatories put out a press release every few years, to try to stimulate interest in actual stargazing rather than silliness over sunsigns.
Usually the pretext is that the systems of astrology are based on Greek observations, and precession of the equinox has caused the original constellations to drift away from their original locations.
Astrologers will usually tell you that the astronomers are missing the point, that the locations in the sky with respect to the equinox are what matters, and the constellations were only convenient markers. Of course this in turn misses the point that astrology is bullshit.
And that doesn’t stop more people believing in astrology than those who believe in real things such as evolution. Their choice, I guess.
A….. that’s what’s wrong with my life, I’ve been living the wrong sign.