What’s Your Sign? Guess Again

Remember striking out in the 70s with the line what’s your sign when the girl turned out to be a Virgo and you are a Gemini? Now, you can go back and try again if she is still available. Astronomers have announced that most people have been using the wrong astrological sign due to a mistake in the zodiac chart. They have recalculated the dates that correspond with each sign to accommodate millennia of subtle shifts in the Earth’s axis. I have been informed that after years of living as a Taurus (the bull), I am now considered an Aries (the ram).

The Minnesota Planetarium Society’s Parke Kunkle has caused astrological mayhem by releasing this new chart:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

Notably, they continue to exclude Ophiuchus — the “serpent-bearer” represented as a man grasping the snake. It also helps immensely at bars in not having to pronounce Ophiuchus.

As a newly minted Aries, I have a bit of a problem. Leslie is now a Taurus, but some sites give some hope about the relationship. Moreover, does it matter that I was induced early and would have been a Taurus?

In the meantime, I would like to especially welcome the denizens of Leo, Sagittarius, Libra, Gemini, and Aquarius. However, this site will continue its policy of total astrological equality and tolerance — even for Ophiuchuses.

Source: Gawker

62 thoughts on “What’s Your Sign? Guess Again”

  1. Blouise

    Their power base are all the trailer park people in the southern part of the state


    Easy on the trailer park people. Some of us are Scorpios too. 🙂

    And while I’m on the subject – Libra! Good grief! Of course if Ophiuchus is the alternative….

  2. “Scorpios of the world-Unite! Don’t give up your stingers! Seven days is all we get? I think not!”

    You got my vote,can’t give up that “mystique”

  3. “I would challenge the rest of the planetarium members in Minnesota to see if they couldn’t get some representation by someone a little more up to speed!”

    In other news, homeopathists describe statement by a chemist that their remedies are just water as old news. “Sheesh! I’ve been deliberately diluting my remedies way past avogadro’s number for years, and never had a single customer complaint,” said a spokesman.

  4. Parke Kunkle, the man who just now figured out that the Earth wobbles in its orbit creating precession and that the zodiacal path includes Ophiucus, there are actually two dozen constellations that brush the zodiacal orbit of the Sun, and its been known for thousands of years. Whether you follow astrology or not, this guy is a little slow on the uptake! Not too swift, this fellow. I would challenge the rest of the planetarium members in Minnesota to see if they couldn’t get some representation by someone a little more up to speed!

  5. Blouise-
    That was “schafskopf” a.k.a.”Sheepshead”. A German card game with bizarre rules still popular in Milwaukee.

    Scorpios of the world-Unite! Don’t give up your stingers! Seven days is all we get? I think not!

  6. notled,

    The class I took in college was sidereal zodiac – constellations, with very little time spent on tropical or vedic.

    I was curious and needed an elective so figured it would be an easy class. Man, was I wrong … I had more homework in that class than all the others combined.

  7. HenMan,

    They threatened Sherrod Brown with the same action so he told them if they tried to redistrict him out of existence he’s run for governor … they backed off and even improved his district.

    Dennis will pull a similar move in that he will threaten the Republicans in a meaningful way … they will back down for the entire area is democrat party territory. But his district is not wealthy so contributions from across the country are needed and deeply appreciated.

    Dennis’ campaign signs don’t even show his last name … the signs simply read DENNIS with his email address in very small print. Republicans live in their own little world up here constantly seeking recognition. Their power base are all the trailer park people in the southern part of the state … the ones who vote for the Orange Man ’cause he drinks a lot of beer and grew up in a Bar that his family still runs.

    However, they would love to get rid of Dennis in order to try and run one of their slick boys … it wouldn’t do to underestimate them.

    He is not my Rep. but I send him money all the time … I think he’s next door to me, Rep wise. My Rep replaced Brown when he won the Senate seat. Brown is also a good man.

    The game I’m talking about was some kind of card game … you joked about the tournaments.

    Scorpios rule!

  8. Eh…Old news, and not pertaining to most of us.

    see this article on CNN: http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/13/no-your-zodiac-sign-hasnt-changed/

    “the tropical zodiac – which is fixed to seasons, and which Western astrology adheres to – differs from the sidereal zodiac – which is fixed to constellations and is followed more in the East, and is the type of zodiac to which the Star Tribune article [and this one] ultimately refers.”

  9. Blouise-

    He (Sensenbrenner) plays the game that begins with “F” and ends with “the constituent who isn’t white,fascist,and rich”.
    I think you said that Dennis Kucinich is your Rep. I got an e-mail from him (because I made a contribution in Nov.) that said when the Republican Legislature redistricts Ohio, his district will probably be one of the 2 that will be eliminated due to population loss. He is asking for suggestions from his supporters to his website (denniskucinich.us). I personally think he should run in the Democratic Presidential Primary in 2012. President Obama is in serious need of some serious pressure from the left. He seems to believe that the left is in his pocket and has nowhere else to go. I have already said I won’t vote for Obama again and I would like to vote for someone I respect. That would be Dennis Kucinich.

  10. I don’t see how this can be!I was born on 2/24 and am a true Pisces! I have a little bit of all but am not as close to any as I am Pisces. I have a friend that was born on 4/3 and he is a true Aires! Now it shows he is a Pisce, NO WAY! My husband well I guess when I figure out what the new sign is I’ll let you know if he is a Sagittarius or the new one for 12/10. So far, he is a true Sagittarius.

  11. Pete-

    I picked up the “Uff da” from my Minnesota buddies after the Draft Board snagged my dimpled ass and threw me into the Army in 1964.

    (Age 22= dimpled ass)
    (Age 69= wrinkled ass)

    Sorry about the crudity- is’s my nature as a Scorpio.

  12. Maddow spent the last 6 minutes of her show tonight with a lovely comment about the change of the signs of the zodiac and the movement of magnetic north. It’s worth watching if you run across it on the interwebs or the Maddow blawg.

  13. HenMan,

    Does he play that game … the one has that weird name … starts with an “f” I think.

    Dennis doesn’t … at least as far as I know

  14. Blouise-

    I also refuse to accept the re-election of my self-serving, multi-millionaire Congressional Representative, F. James Sensenbrenner (R-WI), one of the heirs to the Kimberly-Clark (Kleenex) fortune. I have replaced him with Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) in order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity. I can’t do that with a guy who votes wrong every time. I think this is legal under the Interstate Commerce Clause.

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