Horn-O-Plenty: Inmate Found With 30 Items During Cavity Search

In Sarasota County, Florida, Neil Lansing, 34, proved a virtual Cornucopia during a cavity search during booking. Officers removed everything short of his lawyer in their routine search.

Lansing’s rectum contain 30 items, including 17 Oxycodone pills, 1 cigarette, 6 matches, 1 flint, 1 empty syringe with eraser over needle, 1 lip balm container, 1 condom, 1 CVS receipt, and a coupon.

I particularly like the coupon. Felonious yet frugal to the end.

He has now been charged with bringing drugs and tobacco inside a county jail.

Source: MSNBC

36 thoughts on “Horn-O-Plenty: Inmate Found With 30 Items During Cavity Search”

  1. I went to high school with Neil and this is so sad. An example of what happens to people when they screw with drugs. He was athletic and smart and then the next thing you know he is shooting heroin and robbing houses. It’s nauseating.

  2. I would like to think that life has offered me the opportunity to listen to various music….or at least they call it music…

  3. I think I need therapy after watching that Avalanch video.
    I think this inmate should be utilized to test the TSA employees at the airports to make sure they are being as invasive as they can. Maybe I am getting old, but how the hell can you put all the stuff up your behind? Did he have an accomplice?

  4. That’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s pretty close.

    Catchy little ditty too.

  5. Stamford Liberal-

    “Gerbils? We ain’t got no gerbils. We don’t need no gerbils. I don’t have to show you any stinking gerbils!”

  6. BiL: Maybe he kept the receipt for tax deductions?

    Couldn’t they use some sort of echography to detect foreign objects without having to humiliate and basically rape all the prisoners who are not trying to smuggle anything? I doubt (or at least hope not) the officials are taking pleasure in it.

  7. pardon me?

    Maybe this will assist if the boys issues….


  8. o.k. but in all honesty the wristwatch and class ring belonged to the deputy doing the search.

  9. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UNy0iq3_Eo&w=480&h=390]

    Now I forgot about this song….

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