Take Me Out of the Pretrial Conference

Submitted by Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

HST and Opening Day at Yankee Stadium (1951)

In honor of Major League Baseball’s opening day, here’s a little item from Irvin, Texas Lawyer Darrell W. Cook who’s a huge Texas Rangers fan. Last year when the improbable happened and the Rangers made it to the World Series Cook was taking no chances. Seeing a pretrial conference on his calendar which conflicted with Game 1, Cook filed this emergency motion for continuance excerpted here:

1. The lawyer in charge of this matter for the defendant is Darrell W. Cook (hereinafter referred to as Darrell).
2. Since 1972, when Darrell was but a lad of thirteen, he has been a fan of the Texas Rangers Baseball Club (hereinafter referred to as “Rangers”)
3. As such he has developed a love of the Rangers that has gone generally unrequited for thirty-eight (38) years.
4. Darrell has been to more games than he can possibly recall, has been a season ticket holder in one form or another for over ten (l0) years and has either listened to or watched all or parts of thousands of baseball games played by the Rangers.
5. Everything between Darrell and the Rangers was business as usual this year:
a. Josh Hamilton was discovered drunken and covered in whip cream;
b. Ron Washington was discovered to have ingested a “controlled substance” during the 2009 All-Star break;
c. The top two starters for the Rangers at the beginning of the season, Rich Harden and Scott Feldman, looked like they were completely unfamiliar with the tasks assigned to them and made a mockery of their roles as leaders of the pitching staff; and
d. The team declared bankruptcy and was sold via an auction more befitting a used Buick than a major league baseball team.
6. So, when this setting was received Darrell was convinced he would be in attendance as it was unimaginable that anything the Rangers could do would interfere with such setting.
7. Then suddenly and without warning the Rangers began a steady march toward credibility. …
8. Thereafter the unthinkable occurred ….

Cook ended his Motion with ” “[t]he continuance is not sought merely for delay alone, but so that justice may be done.”

City of Irving v. Villas of Irving, Ltd, Case No. T-01398471 01, Municipal Court, City of Irving, Texas, Oct. 25, 2010.

No word on the outcome.

Source: lawhaha.com

~Submitted by Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

8 thoughts on “Take Me Out of the Pretrial Conference”

  1. rafflaw
    1, April 3, 2011 at 11:52 pm
    Two out of three is damn good,


    But not perfect ….

  2. Rafflaw,

    My White Sox are putting a hurt on the Tribe in this opening series. It is not too late to jump on the bandwagon! …


    Ahem … 7-1

  3. Blouise,

    What is a Tribe….Did you really mean Trite….


    White Sox’s Dirty Laundry makes all of the other smells sweeter…. Yes….Bad team to open against….But it is after all the American league….God’s Team…..

  4. Mespo,
    that is an hilarious “motion”! It is too bad he is a Rangers fan!
    My White Sox are putting a hurt on the Tribe in this opening series. It is not too late to jump on the bandwagon!
    My condolences to your Tigers! 🙂

  5. Oh dear, well, I’m a lifelong Indian’s fan … my Dad would be in the garage helping my brothers start their Soapbox Derby cars while listening to the Home Opener on the radio … there was that and then there is this … what can I say, it’s Cleveland …

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