Mad Dogs and Englishmen: Yorkshire Man Removes Wart (and Finger) With A Shotgum

Sean Murphy’s career as a dermatologist appears short-lived. Murphy had long complained about a wart on his finger, so he decided to remove it . . . with a 12-gauge shotgun. It succeeded and took off the wart with the rest of his finger. He was later arrested and convicted of illegal possession of a firearm.

Murphy said he found the shotgun “under a hedge.”

One would think that the loss of the finger would be enough, but the police charged him after hearing about the incident. The judge however decided that he was sufficiently punished and instead of giving him 15 years handed down a sentence of a suspended 16-week sentence.

What was most striking is that Murphy was happy with the results and denies that his drinking a few pints was the cause of his shotgun surgery in South Yorkshire. He said he proscribed the Yorkshire bitter as an “anaesthetic.”

Source: Telegraph as seen on Reddit

21 thoughts on “Mad Dogs and Englishmen: Yorkshire Man Removes Wart (and Finger) With A Shotgum”

  1. Oh yes. Got a certified check for the full amount. But he survived. You can’t kill a drunk.

  2. Otteray Scribe,

    I trust that all of the transactional paperwork was finalized before the guy ‘augered in”…

  3. FFLEO: What is used to keep the propellant and the stupid from mixing?

    A few weeks after the sale, the guy who bought my airplane mixed airplane, beer and pine trees. It did not turn out well. Aviation fuel and stupid do not mix well either.

  4. Shotgum refers to shotshell wads–like a wad of gum–and we old hunters have seen more shotshell wads than wads of money–fur shore.

    In this case, Mr. Murphy shot off’n his’n wart while shooting his’n wad, thereby accomplishing both at once with his’n itchy trigger finger. However, there is a related sayin’ expressing a trait common in older folk, who when asked if they are still ‘datin’ or ‘sparkin’ usually say, Nah, I already dun “shot my wad.”

    ‘Nother bit of cuntreeboy archaic Americana from an old FFLEO who has wasted his’n share of wads durin’ small game huntin’, law enforcement shotgun trainin’ with both double-ought (OO) buckshot and slugs, and with livin’ life full of mistakes, in general…

    Regarding shotshell ballistics:

    “Wads are used to prevent the mixing of propellants and pellets in a shotshell.”

  5. Gyges,

    I’m embarrassed that I glossed over the writer’s bigoted use of the word “gypsy” when I re-posted his comment. Thanks for pointing it out to me — I appreciate the wisdom, “sense of fairness”, and lack of bigotry in your comment. In retrospect, I would have completely omitted the comment from my posting but, as it’s written, I’d eliminate “gypsy” or “gypsies” and replace it with “criminal gangs” — criminal gangs that come in all sizes, shapes, and colors,… and draw from all classes and ethnic groups.

    Having said this, I still feel that there’s more to this story than meets the eye. I don’t believe for a second that this guy simply “found” the gun. But your point is well-taken, and I might have elaborated and/or clarified in my prior comment. Thanks for pointing out my gaffe in reprinting the comment from the Telegraph.

    My sights were (and are) focused on the guy in the article, the judge, and the criminals who deal in illegal weapons…and there may well be some overlap… Mr. Murphy’s story doesn’t quite wash…

  6. Anon Nurse,

    I’m pretty sure that if this happened in Arizona you could find a similar comment that just replaces “gypsies” with “Mexicans.” Gypsies are a pretty standard European scapegoat.

    I used to play in a Gypsy jazz group that the guitar player used to love to go on and on about how his European friend (I forget what country they were from, I want to say France, but that could be wrong) said Gypsies were all just lazy, good for nothing, etc. etc. Me telling him that his friend was just a bigot is probably one of the reasons I’m not in the group any more.

  7. I can’t believe that this guy is a doctor! Are you sure he doesn’t live in Mississippi with the braniac that OS told us about??

  8. Kestrel, that is one you load with Double Bubble. Maybe that is the true origin of the English slang term, “sticky wicket.”

  9. Personally, I’ve found that skateboarding is a much better treatment for warts than a shotgun! Of course, the side effects of removing a wart (and surrounding skin) from my hand was some stitches over my cheekbone and in my scalp… Grinding yourself across concrete a a good clip did work better than the home cryogenic wart treatment I tried a couple of times. Plus, it’s more fun (except for the part where a middle aged doctor tries to remove the tiny stitches from your face that were put in by a sharp eyed, steady handed ER resident…. Still less painful than eyebrow waxing, though.)

  10. More to the story than meets the eye?

    In a comment, why_lie wrote:

    “Two words – Caravan and Murphy – tell you how this guy came to own a gun! . . . Doncaster is over-run by gypsy criminal gangs and they have been reported for brandishing firearms on many occasions . . .the fact this guy has been caught with an illegal fire-arm and got a slap on the wrist speaks volumes about the idiocy of the judge. The Doncaster gypsy community deal drugs on a large scale and sell on stolen vehicles – and carry arms. . . .and get away with it even when their crimes are made bl***y obvious to Police!”

  11. “Murphy had been a security officer at Markham Grange Nurseries, Doncaster, at the time he applied the Beretta treatment in March.” -Telegraph

  12. Waddell Laney, down in Mississippi, circumcised himself with a double bit axe–on a stump in the back yard. Said that he needed to be circumcised because Jesus was circumcised.

    The records of his two murder trials are easily found online if anyone is interested.

  13. Roco,

    “better that than being circumcised by a .38”

    For once, something we can agree upon.

  14. He is an amazing man if he can hold his finger in front of the shotgun he is shooting! Good thing he didn’t also have a headache.

Comments are closed.