Dateline Michigan: Your Tax Dollars at Work Fighting Terrorism…with Snow Cones!

Submitted by Elaine Magliaro, Guest Blogger

Don’t you love it when you find out that your tax dollars are actually being put to good use? I felt great when I heard that the West Michigan Shoreline Regional Development Commission (WMSRDC)—a federal- and state-designated agency that is responsible for managing and administrating the homeland security program in Montcalm County and 12 other counties—recently purchased 13 snow cone machines at a cost of $11,700 and transferred them to the counties. There is nothing like an Arctic Blast Sno-Cone machine to stop a terrorist in Michigan dead in his tracks—or to foil a terrorist plot in that state, doncha know?

Still, some officials in Michigan are being asked to explain the purchase of the machines, which were funded by a grant from the Michigan Homeland Security Program. Only one county requested a machine—but all 13 counties received them. It’s good to know that DHS was thinking of the safety of all the counties and not just the one that had the wisdom to request an ice-shaving machine.

Well, members of the Montcalm County Board of Commissioners wondered why the county needed a snow cone machine. They wanted to know the justification for its purchase. According to an article in The Daily News, “The Michigan Homeland Security Grant Program’s Allowable Cost Justification document, dated May 9, 2011, says the snow cone machines can make ice to prevent heat-related illnesses during emergencies, treat injuries and provide snow cones as an outreach at promotional events.”

So you see—the request was not a frivolous one. Not like the request one county had made for a popcorn machine—which was denied.

WMSRDC Executive Director Sandeep Dey said “the snow cone machine request would not have been granted by itself, but was approved because it came with other homeland security equipment.” He added, “It is used to attract people so they can be educated and prepared for homeland security. More importantly, they (homeland security officials) felt in a medical emergency the machine was capable of making ice packs which could be used for medical purposes.”

There you have it—your tax dollars at work protecting the citizens of Michigan with snow cone machines. What a totally cool idea!



Montcalm County gets homeland security snow cone machine (The Daily News)

Michigan Citizens To Be ‘Educated and Prepared for Homeland Security’ (Dateline Zero)

8 thoughts on “Dateline Michigan: Your Tax Dollars at Work Fighting Terrorism…with Snow Cones!”

  1. I emailed my Congresswoman Olympia Snow about this strange use of federal grant money for this purchase. Her aide wired me back and said that I was a conehead for not understanding the relationhship between global warming and the extraterrestrial threat to security and of course the link between the iceman and (on Christmas Day) the second cometh.

  2. Wow! Amazing story Elaine. I am sure glad that Michigan is prepared for the onslaught of the massive heat wave that will require some medicinal snow cones!

  3. At a soccer tournament, I saw a first aid station equipped with a snow cone machine. Blocks of ice were kept in an ice chest. The shaved ice was used on sprains. The ice house also sold shaved ice, but the blocks kept better.

    Fifty percent of the therapeutic effect of ice is lost within ten minutes of an injury; ninety percent within 30 minutes. Rapid application of RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation) can mean the difference between a few days and a week or more of recovery time.

    Also, the temperature was in the 90s and humidity was in the 20s for a heat/humidity index above100. A local rule required games be played using quarters instead of halves. Shaved ice was used to cool several players.

    Just saying.

  4. Sounds like an excess in funding and if the money is not spent it is lost and the resulting next year the appropriations is cut by that amount….if you think in territoriality spending….Elaine this is exactly what they needed….Keep the budget full of stuff you don’t need and but it anyway…..

    I am sure back years ago when you started teaching…there were some pretty ludicrous purchases….Just imagine and see what can happen with this budget next year….oh…if memory serves me correctly….this is all GOP Terrorism…They are the congressmen and women that bring back the pork for the state…..Thanks…

    Here is a site for all to contact them….

    But then support downsizing eastern Michigan………

  5. Hey, don’t laugh at this–a terrorist bent on destruction and mayhem can be distracted by a hummus-flavored snow cone, which would enable law-enforcers to nab him before he carries out his dastardly deed.

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