Get Shortey: Oklahoma Senator Faces Down Cannibals With Bill To Bar Use Of Human Fetuses In Food

Oklahoma GOP State Senator Ralph Shortey is one politician who is not afraid to take on special interest groups. This month he has introduced a bill that will enrage that powerful lobby of commercial product cannibals who seek to use human fetuses to spice up food. Shortey’s bill would prohibit the manufacturing and sale of food “which contains aborted human fetuses.” First, however, you will have to find one.


Shortey has yet to come up with an example of the growing cannibal problem in U.S. food supply or a study that supports the need for a prohibition. Indeed, he admits “I don’t know if it is happening in Oklahoma, it may be, it may not be.” Well, that seems pretty solid to me.

In one interview, Shortey says that he found “suggestions online.” There is a great deal of suggestive material online of course, but U.S. Food and Drug Administration spokeswoman Pat El-Hinnawy responded to questions by saying that the “FDA is not aware of this particular concern.”

Featured today on the Oklahoma GOP site, Shortey is described as someone who “worked as an oil and gas production consultant . . . he and his family have been living on savings since he filed for office in June.” Before cannibalism, his main issue was illegal immigration: “[The voters] want something done about illegal immigration and they want something tough.” This may be related in that companies could be smuggling in illegal immigrants through our food supply.

Of course, the cannibal apologists are all over Shortey. Powerful restaurants like Big Boy and Kenny Rogers Roasters, of course, are staying behind the scenes despite their obvious advertising enticing customers with human food symbology. What are you eating when you order a Jack in the Box, I ask you.

Shortey is one of the few who will stand firm and say “you want a piece of me? Come and try.” Thank you Senator Shortey and God’s speed.

Source: Think Progress

22 thoughts on “Get Shortey: Oklahoma Senator Faces Down Cannibals With Bill To Bar Use Of Human Fetuses In Food”

  1. From reading some folk at the indefinite detention posting – This may be what the anti choice folk are looking for – a Soylent Green argument for the abolitionists

  2. this must be the suggestion he found online

    Wiggum: Now, what I am about to show you next may shock and educate you. Hold onto your values as we step through the looking
    glass into a hippie pot party.

    [flicks a switch, lighting a mannequin with a joint crudely
    stuck to his mouth]

    While Johnny Welfare plays acid rock on a stolen guitar, his
    old lady has a better idea.

    [lights up another mannequin, of a woman opening wide to eat
    a baby sandwich. (That’s a sandwich with a baby in it, not a
    really tiny sandwich.) The crowd gasps]

    That’s right, she’s got the munchies for a California Cheeseburger.

  3. I guess I will miss the days that my Dad would come through the door with a Bucket of Fried Fetus. Kids fighting over the legs. Good times….

  4. OMG! I had Irish stew, Polish sausage and Baked Alaskan for dinner last night! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?

    The fetus fetishist have really gotten out of hand. I wonder which Talibanngelical news letter he was reading or shortwave station he listened to. Sadly he will probably get reelected. I live just adjacent to Michelle Bachmanns district & the majority there just love her despite being this crazy,

  5. The question here is what is the REAL purpose of this bill? By that I mean, what is the hidden earmark or or tweak to existing law that this “no eating dead babies” law is a cover vehicle to push through? Few legislators are going to be willing to vote against the “no eating dead babies” law even if it contains egregious earmarks or legal changes. I’m guessing that there is language in this law that would be combined with existing food production laws to make it impossible to perform abortions in Oklahoma, defacto overriding Roe v Wade.

  6. We are being far too harsh on Sen. Shortey. After all, his proposal makes as much sense as the rest of the Republican list of legislative priorities, such as prohibiting judges from reliance on sharia law in their decisions, increasing requirements for voter registration or mandating drug testing for recipients of public assistance. Someone on HuffPost suggested a law prohibiting horses from riding motorcycles on public highways.

  7. Perhaps Shorty should run anymore ideas past someone who’s actually sane. Might save him from being a joke on late night TV. I read someplace someone believes this in an end run around stem cell research. I don’t see the connection but being honest about motivations isn’t a Republican quality. Probably not for a lot of Democratss either, sadly.

  8. The disconnect from reality of today’s GOP is just astounding and drives us all to some place more resembling Taliban Afghanistan than the USA. Thanks, Reagan.

  9. I for one won’t be eating at A & W again!!!

    All those papa burgers, momma burgers,
    baby burgers and teen burgers…

  10. Catulus,

    That was funny….

    But…It might appear that the State Senator might have more in the closet than just his drag queen dress…..I have heard….You point the finger you own the gun….I wonder if…

    But then again…I do not know for certain….

  11. Wow, what a shame, now Oklahomians won’t be able to buy Frosty Fetus Flakes at the local grocery store.

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