Submitted by Gene Howington, Guest Blogger
“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”
William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act V, Sc. 5
Some days when you wake up, don’t you just feel like doing something new and exciting? A way to change things up? Most people follow through with this urge by going to a new restaurant or visiting some place new or getting a different haircut. Perhaps trying a new outfit. Like all ideas, you can go too far with this impulse for change. Sometimes people get an idea and figure anything worth doing is worth overdoing, but I’m still trying to guess where the good idea/bad idea line was crossed in this case. If any forethought was given, I’m thinking the line was crossed fairly early on.
But crossed it was early on the morning of February, 3, 2012, in Neon, Kentucky. Andrew Toothman, 22, was apparently feeling the need to change things up when he broke into the IGA grocery store. What were his intentions you might be asking? I think possibly his intention was to make a bold fashion statement. That or he had simply taken leave of his senses. When the IGA employees arrived for work that morning, they found a surprise waiting for them. They found Mr. Toothman wearing black boots, chocolate and peanut butter. That’s it.
In addition to the broken glass and Mr. Toothman’s unusual choice in apparel, there was chocolate and peanut butter smeared on the floor and the manager’s desk and several fire extinguishers had been discharged. In what could be considered an act of contrition (or further madness), Toothman had also written “sorry” on the floor. His artistic media for this message? To mix things up a bit, he used NyQuil. Sorry? Most certainly, although about precisely what, he was not clear.
There is no probative legal analysis of this case. No pressing civil rights issue. Toothman’s eventual charges, from breaking and entering to vandalism, will probably be in line with his actions. This is just a tale of high – I think possibly very high – weirdness in the rolling hills of eastern Kentucky. Although one must wonder if Toothman’s message of contrition will move the judge to consider lesser sentencing? Will his choice in attire (and the possibly errant mental state leading to that fashion choice) impact the court’s decisions? Other than a peanut butter cup now sounds dreadfully unappealing, what do you think?
Source(s): Huffington Post, The Smoking Gun, CBS
~ Submitted by Gene Howington, Guest Blogger
When I lived in rural Appalachia I had a neighbor (not within eyesight, thank goodness) who would slaughter his chickens while naked. He didn’t want to get blood on his clothes. Makes perfect sense.
What Mr. Toothman really needs is an agent. Had he indulged his fetish in a studio, we would be reading reviews of his work as a performance artist.
Gene,
A chocolate song for you:
Zing!
@Pete……..
Don’t you mean chocolate covered nuts?
i’m starting to remember why i don’t like chocolate covered cherrys
Without this type of experimentation, science does not progress. Mr. Toothman was obviously working on a delicious chocolate-peanut butter-Nyquil cold remedy.
This is the same way Thomas Edison got started- caught naked in the Ace Hardware Store sitting on a storage battery wearing only ten feet of copper wire covered with chocolate and peanut butter.
I just ate pasta with tomato and gorgonzola sauce.
Feeling sick now!
Gene, I take your point about the melting temperature of good quality chocolate (or chocolate bon bons, etc — the situation just gets stickier, eh). But, even given the likely high this guy was on, I have a hard time imagining it all. I guess that could be a good thing.
Plus I don’t think quality was necessarily on his mind.
DonS,
It depends on the quality of the chocolate. Most chocolate confections melt at body temperature and, although I agree syrup is a likely candidate, simply a vigorous rubbing against the body would be enough to melt most candy.
I’d presume it was chocolate syrup. That’s the only way any of this comes together.
I think a high that exceeds all other highs becomes the god of your understanding….
My guess is, he took the old advertising slogan literally: “Better living through chemistry.”
“They found Mr. Toothman wearing black boots, chocolate and peanut butter. That’s it.”
And I thought I had a lock on the most creative outfit at the upcoming Valentines Day party.
Amphetamine psychosis, I’m guessing.
You’re on a roll today, rafflaw… (I also enjoyed your use of the phrase “royal rat” in another thread… 😉 )
“Say it in Nyquil”
Gene,
A classic story. Toothman? For some silly reason, the name fits him.
A little rompin and stompin. I am glad he is from Eastern KY and not Western Ky because that was were I hung out with my dog pack for awhile and we would never resort to peanut butter.
Gene,
A wonderful example of the glory of human diversity. I had a cousin who lived in a rural mountain area of NY State. I liked him pretty much, but he was the family’s black sheep. One night he and a companion decided to break into a grocery store to rifle the register. The went in through a trapdoor on the roof, since the other entrances were gated and chained. They made the drop from the ceiling alright, grabbed the money from the register and then futilely searched for a ladder. There wasn’t any and there they stayed for the night, only to be arrested in the morning. I don’t remember now, but I hoped they ate and drank well during their evening.