Utah Legislator Proposes Drinkers-Only State Positions

Finally a job that I am actually qualified to hold. Democratic Utah Rep. Brian Doughty has proposed a bill that would require that at least two members of the Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission be actual drinkers. Send me in coach.

Doughty is clearly responding to the view that the state has been historically hostile to drinkers and bars due to the dominant Mormon faith in the state. For non-Mormons, the Commission is often akin to vegetarians regulating the meat industry.

Doughty’s bill would make drinking a bona fide occupational qualification — a breakthrough for drinkers everywhere.

What does concern me is that Doughty does not specify the level of drinking necessary to hold one of the two positions. For those of us who are over-achievers, this would allow a once a week lite beer drinker to compete equally with those of us who have distinguished ourselves in countless bar and drunk tanks. All that is required is an affidavit. Heck, I can do better than that. I can give references from a dozen bartenders and an equal number of arresting officers.

14 thoughts on “Utah Legislator Proposes Drinkers-Only State Positions”

  1. I’m more inclined to say that they should get rid of the ABC commission. No doubt it’s just another bureaucratic, corrupt bunch of meddlers anyway.

  2. The only lie in the previous is that I couldn’t help her, it was too oppressive for me. So oppressing that I didn’t feel lightened after a brief goodbye. They ARE weird.
    But I did happen to get to shake hands with Veep Johnson, striding through the summer empty halls of the university. A bear trap grip.
    SLC of course.

  3. Mike S.
    I worked there about two months for WU.
    A lady fellow employee invited me home to what became fun on the sofa while hubby was out on drugs, illicit, in their bedroom, 2 million dollar house and she worked as a clerk. Figure it.
    The other employees frowned but said nothing. Weird place.
    For fun, we “visitors” drove over to Nevada (Winnemuca?).

  4. Mike: We have a winner!

    I’m fond of desert scenery, and lived in Utah briefly while I was in high school (summer job). I like to vacation there, but the locals are a bit hostile, and the restaurants (except in Moab) are grim. I keep the Utah vacations short.

  5. Being of suspicious mind and knowing the Utah leadership to be highly materialistically inclined, I wonder if this has to do to increasing State tourism. Last time I was in Salt Lake City, alcohol was not an option at the upscale restaurant.

  6. 707 – I grew up with Prairie Methodists – strong anti-drink types. We always got grape juice.

    When practicing ritual cannibalism I guess the symbolism is more powerful than the meal.

  7. I don’t think that I would go all the way to Utah for a drink! I do like the job description though. Can I telecommute?

  8. Lol…. He’ll, I know lots of quality folks able to perform these dutys…… Where do you sign up….. Can you drink on the job….

  9. Turley—–Now that IS impressive. I’ve got only three.

    Frankly—-They seem more inclined to retiring into their drugged world.
    But that’s only limited encounters, and not a study, much less with non-Mormon controls. Wonder what they drink at communion. Welch’s?

  10. I assume heavy drinking is required to maintain a position in the Utah State Legislature – no sober people would run a state that way.

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