Springfield College (Massachusetts) student John McGuinness, 22, is facing a rather novel charge — assault with wasabi. McGuinness allegedly covered his girlfriend’s jeans in wasabi after learning “some guy she slept with in school was texting her.”
McGuinness had just finished watching the Celtics game when the incriminating text was discovered. After an argument, they split up but he later texted the girl to say that he still had her $200 jeans. However, when she arrived at his house, she claims he “came out to the driveway with my jeans covered in wasabi sauce.” He is accused of whipping the jeans at her and the girlfriend claims “I got wasabi sauce in my eyes and they were burning and I couldn’t see.” He is also accused of spraying the inside of her car with wasabi. He also allegedly threw her to the ground.
The police report confirmed that the woman’s 2007 Toyota Camry “was covered in wasabi sauce.”
Among the three misdemeanors is assault and battery “by dangerous weapon/sauce.” Is Wasabi a “dangerous” sauce? What is a “dangerous sauce”? Sounds like a criminal code for the homicidal saucier. Presumably any mustard would fit the definition but how about Worcestershire sauce or soy sauce?
As for McGuinness, he presented a rather curious defense. He reportedly confessed to throwing wasabi in her car, but insisted “she has done worse to my car in the past” and that she is “crazy.” He added “I want it known I am not drunk and she is.” That is a pity because being drunk might have offered some mitigation. She was not charged with drunk driving (the wasabi may have sobered her up) and he is now looking at three criminal charges.
It is not clear if the arrests will have an impact on the student at Springfield College. An assault charge can led to an expulsion, but these are misdemeanors. What is clear is that he will likely be monitored carefully around the school condiments.
In the meantime, the National Wasabi Association wants people to know that wasabi must be used responsibly, but wasabi does not kill people, people kill people.
Source: Smoking Gun