Dead Parrots Don’t Talk: Florida Couple Arrested In Death Of Bird

Gainesville couple Luis Enrique Quinones, 29, and Myres Luanny Thomas, 29, are under arrest today for the death of their pet parrot. Police say that Quinones slammed the bird on the floor during an argument with Thomas.

Quinones had a curious defense. He hurt the parrot so he would not hit his girlfriend. He was upset after learning that his girlfriend told him that she had a beer at work. Thomas told him to leave and started throwing his stuff out the door. That is when Quinones decided to vent his anger at the parrot as a surrogate for his girlfriend. Thomas responded by punching Quinones in the face and throwing a vase at him.

It is not clear why Thomas was charged. Presumably, it was the punch in the face, though such a punch could be viewed as a response to the attack on the bird. The problem is that pets are treated as chattel under the law and, if the bird was already dead, it could be viewed as simple assault. Ironically, she is facing the more serious charges of simple assault and battery.

What do you think the proper sentence should be for Quinones if found guilty?

Source: Miami Herald

50 thoughts on “Dead Parrots Don’t Talk: Florida Couple Arrested In Death Of Bird”

  1. Woosty,
    Just loved the parrot cartoon (?). Wrote about it on another thread and forgot to mention it here.
    Now all this foot licking is to get you to tell me how you find these excellent youtubey things. Magnificent handling of hte main figure.

  2. I think Quinones should be charged with MURDER. And then someone should pick him up and slam HIM to the floor. Seriously.

  3. Perhaps this would be a good time to mention that in the UK, the criminal fraternity refer to time spent in jail as…….

    Doing bird

    Start with “Doing time”
    Add cockney rhyming slang = “bird lime”
    And you get “Doing bird”

    This is not to be confused with the Birdman of Alcatraz

  4. What do you think the proper sentence should be for Quinones if found guilty?

    ******************

    I think being compelled to live together — birdless — is puishment enough.

  5. Perhaps Quinones was momentarily “in fear for his life” and thus, regretably, had to stand his ground.

  6. As a condition of probation after some prison time, dont let him have a pet or a girlfriend. Make him listen to ten thousand hours of parrot talk that is repetitive– Polly wants a cracker kind of stuff. If he is With Out Papers then send him back to Philadelphia or where ever he came from. As to her, give her a medal for assaulting the parrot killer.

  7. @slingtrebuchet. Appreciated your use of “cagily”. It takes real talon to make a pun like that. Apropos of the article I was relieved that he hadn’t raptor on the head when struck but thought by not doing so he might be considered to have shown the white feather.

  8. Since he has nothing to slam now, statistically she will be next. Bullying is like a forest fire. It only stops when there is no more fuel left.

  9. Hey now, not all’s the nutz live in Florida or Texas…… It should be quite evident by this blog….. These people are crazy… And deserve each other……

  10. Woosty:

    yes it is. Living with those 2, the bird was probably contemplating suicide anyway.

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