Hey, Buddy, Urine a Lot of Trouble: Talking Urinal Cakes To Converse With Men This Holiday

I am not sure whether the newest weapon against drunk driving will deter or compel men to drink. Across the country, men will use urinals only to have the urinal cakes suddenly start to speak to them. The talking urinal cakes say things like “Listen up. That’s right, I’m talking to you. Had a few drinks? Maybe a few too many? Then do yourself and everyone else a favor: Call a sober friend or a cab. Oh, and don’t forget to wash your hands.” When finding himself conversing with the urinal cake, the question is whether the subject will say “Man, I have had too much” or “Man, I need a drink.”

It is not clear if a few bad cakes get more confrontational with things like “oh, really nice, thanks buddy” or “I’m melting, melting.” I could imagine a few campaign ads involving the “trickle down economic theory of Romney” or “Obama’s approach to the Constitution’s principle of separation of powers.”

The new devices are called Interactive Urinal Communicators and will be deployed in states like Michigan where four hundred of the cakes will be distributed by the Office of Highway Safety Planning, a division of the Michigan State Police.

The cakes are not cheap: $21 each and last for about three months.

I can only imagine a guy who finally had a break through in therapy and accepted that the television was not really speaking to him. He goes out to celebrate with friends and stops in the bathroom . . .

Source: Detroit New

18 thoughts on “Hey, Buddy, Urine a Lot of Trouble: Talking Urinal Cakes To Converse With Men This Holiday”

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  2. pete,

    At least this time when they listen to him, it won’t be an imaginary conversation.

  3. When finding himself conversing with the urinal cake, the question is whether the subject will say “Man, I have had too much” or “Man, I need a drink.”

    Or, perhaps:

    “You talkin to ME? Who the F**K you think you ARE, sittin there in a g*ddamn TOILET tryin to tell ME when to drive, what to do? Stand up, m**herf**ker, less go ousside, you p*ss-soaked W+ss, I’ll teach you yore proppir manners, a55hole,…” etc. etc.

    If we need to get cute to prevent crimes contemplated by either drunk OR sober men, why don’t we market a few p*ss-cakes that say, “Hey buddy, don’t rape anybody” and “Hey buddy, don’t beat up on yore ole lady” and…

    Why the marketing opportunities are legion!

  4. I don’t think these things are at all new. In fact, I seem to recall having laughed until my stomach hurt at a parody of what they might say as presented on a comedy show at some point years ago. Maybe I should do a little searching on YouTube.

  5. I was at our local zoo with my daughters and a friends two sons. The boys 3 and 6 and I went to do # 1. I finished and went to wash my hands (good example..of course I always do) The 3 year old decided it was fun to keep flushing and watch the water. I turned and was about to say c’mon Matthew time to wash up. What I saw was Matthew with urinal cake in hand and mouth open, about to taste that circular delite… GASP!!!!.
    Yes my adult sensibilities kicked in and he was unsuccessful in his effort, AND I made sure he washed EXTRA thoroughly.
    So Professor Turley, do you think they could have these cakes also mention ….. Do Not Eat

  6. They would be a hit at Schiphol Airport in The Netherlands. Remember THE FLY in the bowls there? [ wimpy, fluttering little voice ] “Help Me. Help Me!”

    Or, a more mischievious version where device only speaks when there is another man next to the user, and makes complimentary remarks as to the other’s masculinity.

    Seriously, I don’t think this will cut down on DUI rates at a measurable level. Someone having a epiphany such as this would not have the desired effect, saying to a stranger “I was convinced I was sober enough to drive. Then, a urinal told me I wasn’t. Would you give me a ride home?”

    Actually I would think the opposite would happen. Guys would find the device interesting and drink more so that they could experience it again.

    The Japanese already beat us to market with games like “The North Wind and Her.”


  7. Talking urinal cakes? Really? If a living person can’t talk sense to a drunk, how much influence will an inanimate sanitation aid have? Perhaps the invention should say something more constructive like “hey, buddy…be sure you flush” or maybe “this is a urinal, not a trash can”!

  8. Dredd
    1, July 3, 2012 at 9:15 am
    A lawyer, upon hearing it would think “Res ipsa loquitur (“The thing itself speaks”)” …
    hahahahaha!…..i fell down……hahahahahaha!

    seriously, the whole idea is both funny and brilliant…there are some authorities the guys will actually listen to, maybe this is one of them!

  9. Now if you combined them with a urinalysis function and WIFI, they would vary their message depending on the results. Too much alcohol, too high sugar, opiates, THC. And then think of the Scalia Court deciding that there is no expectation of privacy since the urine was being discarded.

  10. Yeah, now it will be men going to the rest room in pairs. After some guy gets over the shock he is going to want to see his buddy’s reaction.

    Where did Michigan get the money for this? Did they mug a few more old and poor people of their lunch (and breakfast and supper) money?

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