-Submitted by David Drumm (Nal), Guest Blogger
Amber Estes (left) has submitted an article to The University of Georgia student newspaper entitled “How to find that perfect husband in college.” Estes writes that the four years of college are “four years to find a husband” and provides six easy to follow steps.
Step 2: Spend your free time casually moseying around the law school.
Step 4: On your first date, STAY CLASSY. A man won’t get down on one knee for a woman who is overly willing to get down on both of hers.
Practice may make perfect, but it may make tragedy.
In some cases the women seem to go in for the baby’s sake, and skip the husband later. ‘
The pittance the state requires of the father, often low salary at beginning of career, here in Sweden gives them a hard economic situation also.
They are good mothers, say stats, but they are hard driven. It’s an eternal race to Kindergarten and then dagis for ev. older child, fix, fix, fix, and all on a bicycle or with carriage in full speed ahead Gridley mode.
Since 1970 or before a single man can’t support a family, ie the usual academic can not.
“How to find that perfect husband in college.”
I have to wonder of this child has a clue that the men she & her peers are searching for, are more likely the “perfect FIRST husbands.”
She seems oblivious to the reality that precious few of us manage to get by without a practice marriage or two.
Patrick,
You are so right about practice marriage. While this young woman certainly seems motivated by factors other than passion, many people today marry out of passion, only to face the harsher reality that partnering in life requires far more than the initial glow of sexual attraction.
I personally believe that couples need to live together for awhile before legally committing. This of course is discouraged by the beliefs of many religions, with their emphacis on female virginity.
In the past marriage was a business deal, but today it has transformed into a better ideal, though seldom reached if one is to believe statistics.
amityfessenden:
now that was some good advice. I will pass it on to my daughter.
I really hope that’s satire. As someone else said, if read that way, it’s pretty funny. Otherwise, it’s just sad.
Idealist, I got it, yes, I had misunderstood.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ckv6-yhnIY
Malisha,
My intention was not for a justice where women could chase after men grabbing them by the groin as you so graphically put it.
Quite another meaning. I mean that both women and men should be accorded respect for their integrity in all its forms. Physical, sexual, emotional, mental, etc.
And my call for equal “sauce” for both goose and gander was pointing out that if male medical students NOW understand the feeling of being “bait” for catching, by whatever means, then it was time for ALL MEN to realize that being regarded as an object was NOT ACCEPTABLE IN THIS SOCIETY.
It amazes me how folks, including myself can misunderstand the meaning of what is written.
And here the mode is brevity. Does brevity adventure the process of understanding? But misunderstanding evidently happens.
So read twice and think thrice is my advice, and I said that. If only I could and others would.
I appparently missed the target with you, Malisha,
Glad for the opportunity to TRY to correct the misunderstanding.
Did I succeed? Feedback welcomed.
AmityFessenden,
You should have a counseling service!
That was a view of reality not shown so far.
At least it smelled so to my nose several thousand miles away and 44 years since breathing the air there in USA.
Thanks. to be more explicit.
PS It sounds like IRL. Hope you did not experience the whole sequence. Or did you wait as you suggested for the dermatologist to be available. NOTE this was humor, not a personal question. just to round things off.
Idealist, that suggestion made by the “Dating Counselor” was that girls HANG AROUND the law school — not put on running shoes, chase after male law students, and grab them in the groin area.
Where’s justice? Papua, New Guinea.
Malisha,
Are you crossing swords with me or are our signals crossing? I’m confused as usual. Help.
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As for other places and other customs, try checking on the Trobriand Islands. They have another system for raising teenagers there. And oddly nobody gets pregnant. Don’t bother with the many anthropological studies, Wiki will probably do. A real surprise promised if you don’t already know the story.
Justice or not. Trobriand provides equality and egalitarian positions socially between the sexes. Regardless of economic standing, etc. also.
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The only time I have seen girls physically chasing boys was an official occasion. The “Sadie Hawkin’s Day dance” at school when we were tender 13, and I said “I love you” for the first time. Never saw an occasion again. But sometimes girls do take your hand and lead the way. Hmmm!
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I went to a men’s college, not many women at an A&E.
The surrounding girl’s colleges, Meredith and St. Mary’s were only for frat guys and for eventual out of town visitors. Not us nerds.
Not to ccmplain. Power and position showed its attractions to the fair sex in my junior year. Details on request. Has been confirmed many times since.
The MRS article has to be a joke. Recommending hanging around the law school is a very stupid and outdated idea: 50% or more of law students today are women and according to the ABA over 60% of 2011 law school grads have failed to obtain full time work in the legal profession. According to one website, people graduating from my law school alma mater in 2011 were/are saddled with $200,000 in student debt. I too heard the thing about lurking in the med school library. It is a bad idea.
During grad school, all of law school and for my first few months of practice, I had a med student boyfriend/fiancee and do not recommend dating a med student. First, during med school they are totally unavailable. Second, after they graduate from med school and become interns and residents they are only available at very odd hours and when they come home they are covered in blood or other bodily fluids and too exhausted to do anything but sleep. Their whole universe is the hospital and they are uninterested in anything else (including you and your problems/issues). They expect you to be totally available for them on their time as you are a mere lawyer, not a doctor. They think only doctors work after 5 PM.
If you are looking for an MD husband, become a nurse and find an MD who’s already been board certified, paid off his student debt and is making a bundle as a dermatologist (the speciality most likely to adhere to “bankers’ hours”) and least likely to be sued for malpractice.
A woman whose name I won’t mention said recently in reference to young girls’ position upon reaching puberty:
“How do you think the girls feel, knowing that they are fair prey for any who runs after them faster than they do, who wants a free feel?”
So who’s bait now?
Sauce for the goose…..???
Where lies justice?
When my son was a medical student, one of his friends observed, “Now I know how bait feels.”
Kathleen Clohessy,
Was interested in your avatar and went to look. Interesting that you write a bit. I have too.
You said:
“Now that I am stronger and I know who I am I am no longer afraid to appear vulnerable. To be vulnerable.
I find that very weird. ”
In my case it has required beginning to trust people, and that gives opening up. Not comparing you and I. Just mentioning another possible factor.
Re looking for a husband as a reason for college. Of course you are right that it is a stupid waste.
How much better it would be if we had (irony follows) the systems in lands where marrianges are decided by the parents after a long process of selection and negotiation. With our diverse land there must be some who practice similar customs. (End irony).
Wonder how the mothers and fathers of these girls do their checking of suitability of the candidates their daughters come dragging home?
There is a big difference between choosing to be a wife and mother and spending 20K per year of (probably) someone else’s money hunting for a mate. In our late teens and twenties we were all seeking that special someone, regardless of where we were. But wasting an education that many like her would love to have but cannot afford and then bragging about it stinks. I hope she gets what she’s looking for : some sleazy divorce attorney who’ll dump her at the first sign of cellulite for a younger girl.
Ms. Curmudgeon:
some women see staying at home and being a traditional mother as a status symbol. I also think many women would choose that if given the option.
raff
we’re talkin georgia here.
If taken in a satirical vein, I thought it was a hoot! It sounded very Cosmo-ish from a pre-feminist era.
All comments in the original article have been disabled. Too bad… that would have been a great read.
Thank you, Bron. It’s exactly about women having choices. Marrying for money, status or convenience to me seems doomed, but if the man goes for it, perhaps they are doomed for each other. But nothing wrong with wanting to stay at home with the children — or not. And most women are not able to stay at home, even if they want to. So while unfettered choice would be the ideal, economics is making the choice for many, if not most.
Sounds like brood mare tech.