Wedding Crasher

Many of us have been in weddings that seemed to go on to the first anniversary of the couple. However, only children know how to respond honestly to interminable ceremonies. Take Claire Miller who decides it is time to take a break from the arduous duties as flower girl in Lexington, Kentucky.

This is what happens when you circumvent child labor laws.

At least she made it to the altar on script:

15 thoughts on “Wedding Crasher”

  1. Kraaken……. i must admit that your story is nice…. but seriously that kid is so much conscious about himself……..specially money….. ha ha ha…….

    Wedding DJs

  2. Kraaken,

    Such things can only be from real life. An author would never dare write so. Hilarious.

    Be glad he kept his mouth shut when the “question” of propriety was asked (if it is in your ceremony).

  3. Kraaken, very wise nephew. must have learned a lot about human nature: once the deed is done forget about paying the bribe. just hope he doesn’t take videos : )

  4. For those not in the loop, weddings have become a HUGE industry. My bride and I were married in 1977. A simple ceremony @ the rose garden in Loose Park in KC. We had a great Jesuit priest lined up to do the ceremony. We both knew him because he was a chaplain @ the Jackson Co. Jail and Leavenworth. Last minute the diocese told him he couldn’t perform the ceremony because it wasn’t in a Catholic Church. This generous and wise priest was mortified. A judge I worked for, Judge Richard Sprinkle, came through in the clutch. That myopic decision by the local bishop was the final straw for me regarding organized religion.

  5. I was the best man @ my brother’s wedding. The altar boy was the young brother of the bride. During the Mass, as his sister was reciting her vows, he fainted..I mean like a ton of bricks! He was ok and after calling the bullpen, the ceremony continued.

    Our daughter is getting married in the Twin Cities in September. God bless her, the ceremony will be @ the reception venue. An uncle of the groom is a minister, quick ceremony then apps., cocktails, and dinner. She made me proud!

  6. Kraaken,

    I tend to read the threads in reverse and it was only the Prof’s warning that saved me from a coffee mishap as well. Excellent story. A wedding is a kind of performance art in some ways and anyone with experience with the dramatic arts can appreciate the hazards of working with either children or animals. Maybe that’s why W.C. Fields said, “Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.” But for the audience, seeing an extra upstage the star(s) of the show is usually quite a treat. This case was no exception.



    I read your post on the Corrections thread. It, another comment by another poster and something I saw this week on Ken Burns documentary “The War” have me considering a supplemental column for the Propaganda series before publishing the one on the psychology behind propaganda. Thanks for the link. Also, even though it started as a joke, my sense of humor can be deceptively dark. I know . . . hardly a shocking revelation. The original comment of calling “Person of Interest” a documentary is a perfect example of that though. Thanks for giving me the desired result . . . laughter followed by an uncomfortable “he wasn’t really kidding” kind of look. 😀

  7. Kraaken, that is one of the funniest wedding stories I have read. Thanks for sharing it. I almost spilled my coffee down my shirt laughing.

  8. Sleep through one, sleep through them all. Imposing wedding duties on a person of any age is a sin. It is usually a sin that is ameliorated with a lot of gin. If there are a hundred people in the whole shebang about 90 go home silently thinking (not sharing the thought with spouse or other) that the whole thing is a crock. We are not talking Ray Krock here either—one of those crocks with a second name that one gets censored on in this blog. Like my own name, based on the name of a female dog that complains a bit. Weddings and censorship, two Ray Crocks of dog do. Or in pig latin: itShay

  9. Kraaken, LOL, your nephew is one smart negotiator, he’s got ‘Future Diplomatic Corps Intern’ written all over him. The “groan” was priceless.

  10. When my eldest sister got married, she had one of my nephews act as ring bearer. He was about 4 or 5 at the time and had apparently been promised $5.00 for the appearance. When it came time for the ring exchange, the groom reached for the ring and my nephew pulled the pillow away and told him ‘No. You can’t have it until I get my money’. Of course this was in front of the entire congregation. At the top of his lungs. I was playing the organ for the service and I started laughing so hard that I knocked the music off of the rack and the book hit the pedal board causing a loud ‘groan’. My brother-in-law finally reached in his pocket and paid up and the service resumed.

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