Tea Party Declares America Dead By Suicide

By Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

Still reeling from the unprecedented hits of last week’s national election, Tea Partiers have become particularly irrational. In Lebanon Ohio, local tea party officials called for a “counter-revolution” even as they mourned the death of America.  Texas Republican official, Peter Morrison, has publicly asked for an “amicable divorce”  of  godfearin’ GOP’ers from the “maggots” (his words) who voted for Obama. Morrison, who also has a job screening textbooks for the great state of Texas,  is particularly incensed at Asian-Americans and Hispanics who voted for Obama, accusing them of voting on an “ethnic basis.” Perhaps the greatest case of kettle blacking in recent memory.

Not to be outdone in battleground state of Ohio, Cincinnati Tea Party leaders may have earned the “Most Creative Fool” award by publishing the obituary  above, and offering this studied prediction:
We will be a socialist nation within months. However, a revolution is rising and all those elected officials that are blind to what they have done to this country should be encouraged to become enlightened, should be encouraged to step down and should not be reelected.
Like that of quintessential American, Mark Twain, reports of  the nation’s death may have been greatly exaggerated. After all, timeshare mogul, David Seigel, who once threatened mass layoffs to his workers if Obama won (here), reversed course and actually gave them a 5%  wage increase across the board. Donald Trump deleted his wacky twitter call for revolution and even House Speaker John Boehner has signaled his willingness to compromise work (here) with the President to avert a fiscal crisis.
So perhaps the Tea Party-types have the message right but the wrong corpse. Perhaps the words of that lawyer-turned-metaphysical poet, John Donne, are cautioning the  ill-wishing mulligrubs of our age:

Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

~Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

78 thoughts on “Tea Party Declares America Dead By Suicide”

  1. “I’ve sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn’t want to do it. I felt I owed it to them. ” – Judge Smails

  2. A lot of Tea Party Republicans are just bitter because their country club applications were denied by Judge Smails.

  3. In the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), the Tea Partiers are at stage 2.

    In the 7 stages of grief (shock & denial, pain & guilt, anger & bargaining, depression/reflection/loneliness, the upward turn, reconstruction & working through, and acceptance & hope), they’re at stage 3.

    In either case, resolution isn’t around the corner, yet … if ever.

  4. Obviously they consider themselves exclusively to be “America”, in which case their projection or “argument” is accurate enough to brand them.

    Whenever the phrase “the American people” is used by those deniers it always translates into “the right wing people” …

  5. bettykath,
    the process of declaring electoral college votes on a district by district basis is just as bad as the electoral college itself. As your link suggests, the district plan could once again, elect the person with the least amount of direct votes. Why not just leave it up to the voters?

  6. On another thread we were considering the electoral college. JT, raff, and others want to do away with it. I’ve considered moving the electoral college to a proportional division based on congressional seats as it’s done in two states. I didn’t consider the gerrymandering that goes on in guaranteeing congressional seats every ten years depending on which party is in charge in the state legislature. Proportional is still better than winner-take-all but. This article considers the additional electoral votes that Romney would have won but doesn’t consider that he might also have lost a few.


    Last year, Pennsylvania’s Republican Gov. Tom Corbett proposed rigging the Electoral College vote in his state through a plan that would have given the majority of the state’s electors to Romney even after President Obama carried the state. Under Corbett’s plan, the winner of each congressional district within Pennsylvania would receive a single electoral vote, and the overall winner of the state would receive an additional two electoral votes. Had this plan been in place last Tuesday, Mitt Romney would likely have won 13 of the state’s 20 electoral votes, despite losing the state overall by more than five points.

    Corbett’s election-rigging plan died, largely because Republican members of Congress in Pennsylvania feared that it would cause the Obama campaign to shift resources into their districts and endanger their own chances of being reelected. Now, however, Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted (R)- who spent much of 2012 inventing ways to prevent pro-Obama votes from being cast or counted – wants to revive this election rigging scheme. According to the Ohio political blog Plunderbund,

    Husted’s solution to this perceived problem of Democrats and the national media picking on him? He says we should make Ohio less important in the election by dividing up our electoral votes by Congressional district.

    This is huge and should raise giant red flags. Under the current winner-take-all system, Obama won all 18 of Ohio’s electoral votes. Under Husted’s plan, 12 of those 18 electoral votes would be handed to Mitt Romney, the popular vote loser.

    As in Pennsylvania, Republicans gerrymandered Ohio within an inch of its life. Even though Obama won Ohio, Republicans carried 12 of 16 seats in Ohio’s House delegation. This gerrymander would have all but ensured that Romney carried the overwhelming majority of Ohio’s electoral votes, regardless of how he performed in the state overall.

    Indeed, if the Corbett/Husted plan to rig the Electoral College had been law in several key Republican-controlled states that President Obama won last Tuesday, America would now be looking at a very different future. Assuming that Mitt Romney won every congressional district that elected a Republican House candidate in these key states, the Corbett/Husted plan would have given Romney 17 electoral votes in Florida, 9 in Michigan, 12 in Ohio, 13 in Pennsylvania, 8 in Virginia, and 5 in Wisconsin – for a total of 64 additional electoral votes.

    Add those 64 votes to the 206 votes Romney won legitimately, and it adds up to exactly 270 – the amount he needed to win the White House.

  7. Can you imagine that buffalo talking to her grandkids about her adventures when she was young? 4 lions and a croc and your mom and dad and sisters rescued you. Yeh, gram, a likely story. Sure it wasn’t a lost cub and minnow?

  8. What a jewel box here.

    Great lesson on stick together and never, ever give up.

    Higgins sure knows how to give a verbal spanking!

    and Clarence Clearwater for dessert.

  9. Remember the audio clip of the remarks of the (now) President of Ireland, Michael D. Higgins — “just a wanker whipping up fear.”


    Taking Pres. Higgins’ lead, I refer to activities and statements of folks who are tea-party members, republican radicals, fundamentalist conservatives and religious extremists, and climate change deniers to be the same —


    Just Another Wanker Waging War Against Reality

    Start at :43

  10. orolee
    1, November 12, 2012 at 1:07 pm
    that clip is priceless…..those beastalows figured something out about the ‘King of Beasts’……… picking on the smallest and the weakest and running in packs…. snort snort

  11. Here in Midland, Texas, we have a tea party guy, maybe a John Bircher–I don’t know, who flies his U.S. flag upside down for the past 4 years or so. His letters-to-the-editor in the Midland Reporter-Telegram are a parade of hyperbole and nuttiness.


    When stuck between a 1% corporatist crocodile and its enabling pride of politicians and lobbyists, it’s time for the 99% to

    Fight back. Stay together. Hold the line. Never,ever give up!

  13. Then, of course, they had the Aiken and Mourdock rape twins …

    Honestly, it was like the perfect storm of everything that is wrong with the Republican Party coming together against the backdrop of Sandy calling up Bush’s Katrina memories.

    Of course Bill Clinton out there with his 65% approval rating explaining Obama’s plan to go forward … something Obama couldn’t seem to do well at all … didn’t hurt. Even republicans listened to him.

  14. Oro Lee
    1, November 12, 2012 at 12:14 pm
    hahahahaha! snort, glee, hahahahahaha! best movie, yup, that’s what’s happening…!!!!!!!

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