Serbian Mayor Issues Public Health Warning On Vampire Outbreak

220px-NosferatuShadowI wonder if Homeland Security has a color coding for this particular warning. A Serbian village, Zarozje, is in full panic after its mayor issued a serious public health warning of an outbreak of vampires. One particular vampire actually: Sava Savanovic, which by the way is a great name for a vampire.


220px-Bela_lugosi_draculaThe mayor suggested people stock up on garlic and crosses after an old water mill collapsed. The story is that Sava Savanovic used the mill to prey upon unsuspected visitors. Apparently, the town allowed visitors to be vampire fodder to keep Sava Savanovic away from the local denizens (This may explain why Zarozje is not a popular tourist spot). The family that owned the mill refused to enter it because Sava Savanovic lived there. The mill rotted and recently collapsed. This really really ticked off Sava Savanovic, who, as a vampire, was already pretty ticked off.

According to the mayor, this has left Sava Savanovic without a home and looking for midnight snacks.

Somehow I am convinced that behind this story is a garlic farmer who was facing a sales slump.

Source: The Week

39 thoughts on “Serbian Mayor Issues Public Health Warning On Vampire Outbreak

  1. Excuse me, dumb grammar (preoccupied): RESPONDING to such hate crimes is unfortunately one of the functions of Israel.

  2. I can say that the reaction to the massacre was like a lightning shock in Sweden. Appalling to all.
    We, the nations, just don’t do such things.
    And then came Lackerbie, etc.
    The arabs were soldiers. They were killed like soldiers, hiding or in the open. Fully legitimate.

  3. Dredd, My wife just corrected me. Antonia Novella was the first female US Surgeon General, appointed by the old man Bush. However, she was the SISTER-IN LAW of Don Novella, the actor who played Fr. Guido Sarducci.

  4. I don’t see much difference between this vampire stuff and all the zombie raids that the US government is always preparing for.

    Also, I thought this took place in Serbia, not Croatia. They ARE different countries aren’t they? Or did I miss something . . .

  5. Mike S and Malisha, The problem with the Israeli assassination team was that they murdered an innocent man in Norway. His only crime was that he was Arab and had the same name as their target. He left behind a Norwegian wife and child. So according to you, the Israelis should get a pass on this murder. I agree with you on killing the perps in countries where there was no possibility of bringing these people to justice. A good example is the capture of Eichman in Argentina. At least they took enough care to make sure they got the right man and gave him a trial.

    Mike S simply says that the drones are different without saying why. i know that ones uses an aircraft, and the Israelis used assassins, but similar principles apply. The drones are in an active war zone with the tacit approval of the host countries. The Israelis did NOT get that from Norway, or italy where they DID have recourse to courts and a judicial system that would be a fair one. In fact, the drones are acting legally as war planes, and the US has declared those places as such. So any American who decides to go there against the express prohibion of the US, can have NO claim to non-combatant status. Thus if you get killed by the US, you knew the risks, you are acting in concert with active combatants of the US, so you get to die. That most certainly is NO violation of any US or international laws. If the argument is made that the countries involved do not approve of the drones, they have the simple expedient of shooting them down. All they need is a Cessna 210 and a good hunting rifle and a box of ammo. Problem over.

    If one approves of assassination teams to go anywhere, any place to execute your opponents, then you will have to say that the Israelis will be justified in killing any American citizen who does a hate crime against Jews in the US. I think that is a dangerous idea to say the least. I really object to the idea that genes are thicker than water, since it places ones being determined by ones ancestry rather than ones own self and merits I guess that Gen. Eisenhower should have said the same thing about the Germans and not fought them in WWII? I hope that you consider yourself Americans first, and anything else second and of far less importance..

  6. Herr Erb,

    MikeS and Malisha, permit me the pleasure of addressing him in your discussion.

    Herr Erb, is as usual unable to discern both the principles of national sovereignty, international law and treaties, and the laws and subtleties of warfare.

    There was a distinct and clear message given, IMHO, in assassinating these assassins. They were not criminals to be tried, but they were soldiers who would be sought and killed on the world stage that they had decided to fight on. Dispersing and disappearing in the world populations would offer no refuge. They were undercover officers of a foreign power and had in all likelihood a military grade, but whatever, they were warriors in any case.

    As for Norway, shit happens, just as it does using drones. But this was only one person, not thousands.

    For the sake of brevity I retire for now.

    • The fact is that the terrrorists who carried out the Muhich attack were indeed criminals on so many levels it is hard to see how you can call them warriors. In that case, according to your definition and principles, the Israeli athletes were legitimate targets too since they were ALL members of the IDF. Sorry, but I totally reject that for both parties. Since I AM a military veteran, I also take umbrage at the notion that the killers are part of any military group or organization. They are criminals pure and simple under international and national laws. Thus to ignore and refuse to use available legal remedies is simply vigilantism at its worst, with the ensuing result of dead innocents.

      The drones are being used in territory where there is NO law or even national control of any kind. Thus there is NO legal way to bring the terrorists and their support to justice or to stop them. Thiose who live in such places are doing so knowing full well that it is a war zone, and any civilian or innocent victims while unwanted, are the result of the actions of themselves and of their group. The murder of an innocent man by Israel cannot be justified by any of those circumstances. He was only guilty of being born Arab with the wrong name. If you think that is justifiable, then hope like hell that nobody with YOUR name does a terrorist act. Then when Israel or the US sends an assassination team to kill YOU, I will yawn as say tough, shit happens.

    • Arthur,

      ID707 summed up my position succinctly in 10:21am comment and Malisha’s previous comment does so to. There is though one other matter where I take issue with you:

      “As for the Israeli athletes, one can make a good case that they were legitimate military targets since they were all military personnel.”

      Almost all Israeli citizens are required to be in the military services. when you are a country of 6 million surrounded by a population that could easily mount a million troops against you, compulsory military service is needed. However, you argument that they all were soldiers, thus legitimate military targets competing as Olympic Athletes, is facile at best. They were killed not because they were soldiers, but to make an international point against Israel. People killed in Israel by suicide bombers and hit squads were killed randomly. Many of them were not Israeli citizens but tourists. I guess terrorists can justify themselves by saying their presence in Israel was a show of support, but then humans are capable of justifying anything.

      • If you would read my post I did NOT say that they were legitimate military targets at the Olympics. I simply said that IF you say the terrorists were legitimate military persons, then the same applies to the Israeli athletes as well. The ONLY time and place the Isrealis athletes could have been considered military targets is in Israel or the occupied territories. All other times and places in other countries they fall under the law and PROTECTIONS of that law and police forces of that country. Thus under national law the terrorists are criminals, NOT military persons engaged in armed combat. The SAME holds true for the Israeli asssassins. They were criminals as well, especially when they targeted an innocent man and murdered him for no good reason other than his simply being Arab and having the wrong name. You would scream bloody murder if that had happened to a Jew in France or any other country.

        As for the drones, they are targeting military subjects and any collateral damage is unintentional. The terrorists on the other hand target innocents. I see that some folks cannot see any difference. If you wish to condemn the drone strikes, then you have to condemn the Israeli strikes against Hamas in Gaza. I do not. I think Israel is fully justified in what they are doing there. Again, they are targeting military facilities, and incidentally kill civilians. Hamas on the other hand targets civilians and incidentally kill military targets. There is a BIG difference!

  7. He was not talking to you, RandyJet, but I am.
    Tell us by what right that you feel that you can speak FOR the military. And what military esperience has given you such knowledge to expound on what a military person is or is not.

    A simple esample: A sniper, un-uniformed and undercover—is he/she a military person. Not being in uniform he falls outside of the international treaties, and can be summarily executed, but he can be military for that. It depends on whether the country of origin decides that he falls under military command and is given a rank according to their rules. It is not up to international law to decide at all.

    I thought that I had taught/taunt you once to think before speaking.

    The rest you wrote I won’t bother with.

    • I see you are totally ignorant since snipers ARE uniformed and DO have rank and are NOT considered illegal or terrorists. Though most troops hate them, and snipers are not usually taken prisoner, though they are supposed to be.

  8. I’ll weigh in again on what I meant when I spoke of the Israeli assassination of the Olympic athlete slayer-team. FIRST OF ALL YES, killing the wrong guy was wrong and all that goes with it, no argument.

    Then back to the main point. Is it right for a nation to send out a swat team to avenge the murder of its representatives at an international event? I won’t go all the way yes and I won’t go all the way no on this one. I’d say look at the particular event that is the stimulus.

    A gang empowered by no sovereign authority slays the Olympic team of Israel on non-Israeli soil?

    Is it OK (whether internationally legal or not) to go kill them wherever they hide?

    Yeah.

    Why? Because it’s quick, real, and final. It says, not so much “this is justice” and it says, “DON’T DO IT AGAIN.”

    And that’s my whole moral, religious, political and other position on it.

    • “Why? Because it’s quick, real, and final. It says, not so much “this is justice” and it says, “DON’T DO IT AGAIN.””

      Malisha put both the Israeli and the Jewish perspective right out there where it belongs. The Shoah taught Jews two valuable lessons that unfortunately they have had to learn over and again throughout history.

      The first lesson is that because of our modest numbers and our refusal to give up our identity (tribal, religious, ethnic, etc.) we will always be considered to be convenient scapegoats for ignorant people.

      The second lesson draws from the first. Despite the stereotypes Jews are pretty tough people and we are tired of being kicked around. We are quite capable of protecting ourselves. Given the almost total lack of aid provided to the Jews of Europe worldwide, with notable exceptions from some righteous individuals, we must care for ourselves. Due to our numbers it may yet still be possible to destroy us through genocide, but this time it will be at a very dear cost to those so inclined. Never again will we be marched passively to our deaths, we’ve been taught a terrible lesson.

  9. Herr Erb,

    Out of contact with reality again. Dogma above all.

    There are irregular snipers, guerilla snipers under military control, and even JSOC snipers in civil clothing. Reality does not follow your presumptions.

    Not to speak of CIA officers who carry military equivalent rank and do take out people, as do Pentagon officials if in extreme circumstances, such as Ellsberg was in the paddies of Vietnam, etc.

    How little the world corresponds to your illusions. Sad.

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