The City Of The Undead: Detroit Stops Issuing Death Certificates Due To Lack Of Paper

220px-Zombies_in_Moscow250px-Flag_of_Detroit,_Michigan.svgIt appears that, if you live in Detroit, there is no escaping debt — not even with your own death. Detroit’s funeral directors received a curious message for the city last month reading “FYI, city of Detroit can’t process death certificates because they have no paper and don’t have money to buy any.” It is the ultimate hellscape scenario: you cannot even legally die. The question is how this refusal to issue death certificates will affect the myriad of insurance and legal obligations of surviving families. Vendors are now refusing to issue credit to the city and the paper vendor has demanded cash. The city refused, so families have been left with the undead.

We have been following Detroit’s plunge into insolvency for years. While the city was clearly hit by the economic changes, particularly the decline of the auto market, the effort to blame that economic downturn for the city’s problems ignores decades of corrupt and wasteful government. Detroit politicians have been under continual criminal investigation and many have been forced to resign or have gone to jail. Yet, Detroit voters continued to elect the least competent and most corrupt figures to lead the city. That history had soured the reaction of many to demands for federal bailouts.

The plan is for Wayne County to take over issuing birth and death certificates. That’s right, until the shift, Detroit will also have a class of the unborn.

Even with a delay of a week or so, families will not be able to access bank accounts, file for insurance payments or even file in probate court. The delay may not seem too difficult for most families but it can be a critical barrier for those who are close to the economic cliff.

In the meantime, a funeral director is quoted as saying that he was appalled to see city workers at the vital records department sitting outside because they had nothing to do.

38 thoughts on “The City Of The Undead: Detroit Stops Issuing Death Certificates Due To Lack Of Paper”

  1. When you say elected official, you have to consider how often the voters are only left with a beauty contest between those who have already been selected by the so called smart money. The smart money edges out those who won’t play ball with them and the smart politician quickly learns how to get on the right side of the money.

  2. Just before you croak you send a cab driver over to city hall with a ream of typing paper with a note telling them to go ream themselves. De Trois. Not Detroit. Spull it write.

  3. Marc,

    Explain to me how the unions did this…. I really want to know…. You got a problem with unions…. Look at why they were needed…. Ford is one of the best run companies…. The also have other business interest… What’s your beef with unions…. You want to go work in a coal mine….

  4. I really do not know how sad it has to get when you run out of paper in the digital age.

    Detroit needs help of a kind we are powerless to deliver. Much of lower Michigan suffers along side. None of my dear friends there have recovered from the recession, and retirement age is now too near to “do” anything about it.

  5. its the very reason they (elites) secretly turned everything possible into a elected chair,office,job,bench, etc

  6. i have a question.. why does everyone insist on using the words elect (ion) we have known for many many years that our votes dont count. and that the elites are going to put into office who they want and even if the people manage to get someone into office who isnt owned by the elites by the time they take office they are owned either thru blackmail or bribery. and if neither of those works then they are publicly destroyed., suicided, or killed in a accident. i mean come on. when will the people finally stand up and acknowledge that

  7. No death certificates is actually extending the precious franchise to those who otherwise would have been unable to vote. Just walk up, say the dead person’s name, and cast his/her vote. It’s called the Chicago way.

  8. They don’t have money for paper, or pencils for students. But some way they found money to build a new hockey rink……..Detroit is a lab experiment for the 1%…

  9. I grew up on the border with Detroit from the 60s to the mid 70s. By 1968 I knew I would leave and never live there again.

    Based on my observations…The Detroit economy has 100 years before it might improve. Anyone thinking they will get a return on their money in the short term of 10 years or so is sadly mistaken (IMHO). Detroit has made one wrong decision after another for the past 60+ years. What business is ready to move into this city that will make an impact to improve the economy? And it will take more than one business, it needs hundreds. Why would you move to a city with incredibly poor infrastructure? They are off the main rail line that Chicago is the center of. Their airport is worse than most 3rd world airports. Their education system is a wreck along with half of the roads. I was just there a month ago. 40 years ago I drove in heavy traffic to get to work near the city center. Today the heavy traffic is the other direction and goes all around the city, not into the city. Sure there is the tiny Greektown area that is doing well along with a few other pockets. But the city as a whole, no way.

    The only thing this city is good for at this point in time is as a study object for a few hundred PHd dissertations on the collapse of a modern city.

    In 1974 I said goodbye to Detroit, I’ve been back a few times to visit and will likely be back again. But I will never live there.

  10. JT:’Yet, Detroit voters continued to elect the least competent and most corrupt figures to lead the city.”

    You get the government you deserve.

  11. No need to worry about all those undead. The State of Michigan Vital Records Office issues birth, marriage, and death certificates for every community and county in the state.

  12. Gene is absolutely correct, corruption is part of both parties. It just so happens that Dems run the cities. It is the one party in control w/ no opposition that creates this pathology.

Comments are closed.