Submitted by Darren Smith, Weekend Contributor
Statistical analysis has shown that in the past ten years a great threat has been lurking under every dandelion, apple blossom, and tulip growing in the United States, one that is seemingly innocent but is proven to be even more deadly than we could have imagined. And it is with us nearly everywhere during half the year. Your children playing in your back yard, they are especially at risk to this menacing brood. This threat is not to be taken lightly, as it is even greater than terrorism, which you all know is the worst threat our politicians tell us there is.
My fellow Americans we need to look at the degree our government has gone to protect us from terrorism. The NSA monitors seemingly every e-Mail, telephone call, video uplink, and cellphone record it can to address this threat along with billions and billions of dollars for nebulous programs, fought long wars, all to protect us from terrorism. But if this effort is warranted to protect us from terrorism, it is only reasonable that an even greater effort should be waged to protect us from a worse threat: Bees.
Alarming statistics show that in the last ten years, more Americans have died on U.S. soil from bee stings than have been killed at the hands of terrorists. Bees have murdered ten times more people here than terrorists have. (An average of 45 deaths per year from beestings and just over 4 from terrorism) Since the federal government has curtailed civil liberties, fought wars, and spent hundreds of billions on terrorism, does it not make sense to fight the War on Bees in the hive before we have to fight them on our soil?
It is now becoming obvious to those who study the mysterious ways of bees the threat is clear and present. Effort must be made to send agents into the hives: A target that has proven to be difficult to infiltrate. Our NSA needs to be given powers of surveillance on these hives. This of course must be in conjunction with our business partners in the hive manufacturing industry and partner with assets in the beekeeping and orchard occupations to provide valuable human resources to keep tabs on the bees: Because, every honey bee in the United States is potentially a killer bee.
But we must also recognize threats from the rogue hives that can be found in trees, logs or buried in the Earth. It is important that we address these rogue states with appropriate expeditionary military forces to occupy ungoverned groves and grasslands where bees train and thrive. We must deny bees a base for which they can launch deadly attacks on our homeland. But bees create cells easily, and have proven themselves very capable of launching Drone Attacks on civilians.
We must not allow a drone gap between us and them, especially in mineshafts.
What we need is action. Write your representative and senator in Congress now and say “Yes, I agree the bee threat is America’s top priority. Enclosed is the info on my bank account, phone number, internet passwords, and my last DNA profile.”
Paid for by a defense contractor in your area.
Source: Wm. Johnston
Photo: Dirceu Alves
By Darren Smith
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